Inspirational Coach

Embracing the Beloved

How I Found My Soulmate

Extract from my new book

Diving for Pearls: The Wise Woman’s Guide to Finding Love.

How did I manage to find my true love and soul mate?

“Totnes is full of single mothers and hardly any single men” – my new friends in Devon were quite adamant.  “I hope you’re not expecting to find a partner down here!”  But I wasn’t moving to rural south west England to find a partner, not yet anyway.

After 16 years living in a Buddhist community in London, it was time to move on, and my longing for a rural lifestyle could no longer be ignored.  But most importantly of all, my seven-year-old son, Jamie, deserved a more gentle upbringing than a city could afford.

Despite the good reasons, however, there was also an element of strange magnetism I couldn’t put my finger on.  In many ways I was leaving a great situation and jumping into the unknown,  but there was a compelling force drawing me on – and I had a daring, inexplicable knowledge that this was absolutely the right move.

So, one sunny September morning in 2001, I packed my little grey Peugot to bursting, strapped Jamie in the front beside me, and set off for our new life in the country.

rumi set your life on fire

At 37, I was a free agent for the first time pretty much since my teens.  I’d split amicably from Jamie’s dad two years ago.  It was the most civilised split I’ve ever heard of, but even so, the impact of separating the family was utterly devastating.

My escape came in the form of a smouldering Spanish guy from my 5 Rhythms dance class.  However it wasn’t long before I became emotionally trashed by this crazy sex fest of a so called relationship.  I was so fragile that I clung on for far too long.  Moving to Devon would make sure it was over for good.  For the first time in all those years, I was single, and I felt it.  I was F – R – E – E  !

My heart was soaring when we got out to stretch our legs at Stonehenge.  What an incredible monument to mark the half way point to Devon.  The sky was blue and the ancient stones seemed to be humming with affirmation that we were doing the right thing.  We weren’t in dirty, frantic, complicated London now.  Here was the gateway to a whole new magical realm.

Our first base was a caravan in a charming farm campsite not far from Totnes.  We were leaving behind a lovely, secure and affordable home in London.  It was part of a triangle of Victorian maisonettes with gardens backing on to each other so the kids were safe to roam around with each other.

I was glad that Jamie still had some of that now – access to an indoor swimming pool and an adventure playground and a few other families who were temporarily living at the campsite during the offseason just like us.

There was a lot to do – a home to find, school for Jamie, money to earn, new friends to make.  I was fully occupied and completely excited by the experience of making this beautiful place our home.

Originally a spa town, Totnes is known as the ‘alternative capital of the UK’ and has attracted all sorts of interesting people and progressive projects into it’s midst over the decades.  And driving through the stunning countryside brought me out in mild bliss every day – very different from the tension that inevitably comes with ‘cheeky driving’ through London traffic.

But by night I was lonely and reeling from all the changes.  Jamie was having a tough time too and was unsettled at school.  He was understandably disturbed and angry about being ripped away from all he knew, and I was feeling the strain and guilt.  (What possessed me to think he’d settle at the fairy-like Steiner School after his formative years in inner city mainstream education?)

Sometimes the grief and disorientation were almost unbearable.  It would have been so comforting to have someone intimate to share all this with – a manly chest to snuggle into…

So, in night time lonely autopilot, I reached out half heartedly for a liaison.  Computer dating was a pleasant distraction, safe in the knowledge that everyone was at a reassuring cyber distance.  The few dates I met up with soon dissolved any cosy illusions of romance I’d entertained myself with.

There were also a few ‘real’ single men I ran into (despite what my friends had said, Totnes seemed to have plenty of them).  I spent a month with Martin no.1, and another with Martin no.2, and hung out with an attractive new friend while he was between girlfriends.  But none of it was right and nothing got off the ground.

I knew that this was because I still had some healing to do, and at last I decided to co-operate with the process.  I needed to do what usually has to be done when recovering from one relationship and preparing for another – to stay in the gap for as long as it takes and be with myself for a while.

I was overdue to complete some unfinished emotional business – to understand what had happened and why; to let go of hurts and fears; to re-asses who I am now; and establish what kind of relationship would be good for me next.

As a meditator I already had an invaluable tool at my disposal.  Meditation gives emotional space and opens up a bigger perspective that allows us to face challenges positively.   Along with regular chats with insightful friends and family, my meditation practise gave me the resources to navigate my way through the stormy emotional waters.

So did my practice of 5 Rhythms Dance.  At my weekly class, and in the privacy of my own home, this wonderful form of dance free expression accessed and gave full voice to the stories and emotions stuck in my body.  I danced and roared and stamped and cried (a lot!) and laughed and gave thanks and laid the ghosts to rest.  Over the weeks I became clearer, free-er and more peaceful.

In early February I attended a sweat lodge held by a lovely local shaman down by the River Dart.   In the dark, eerie beauty of a winter forest, we ceremonially heated huge stones in a roaring wooden pyre.  Once ready, the hot stones were brought into the lodge one by one and sprinkled with sage water.

We sat in a circle inside the lodge, naked and in total darkness, sweating and singing and praying.  It was like being inside a womb of pure spirit.  We spoke aloud one at a time, each prayer seeming to come from infinite consciousness and be sent out into the entire universe.  My prayer was spontaneous and ardent – “Please help me let go of the past and allow me the time and space I need before I get involved in another relationship.”

Dharma Life Cover

During one of my more contented evenings, and inspired by Oriah Mountain Dreamer’s book, ‘The Invitation’, I did some reflective writing.  In a deep, prayerful way, I wrote about what I longed for – the kind of loving partner that would be ideal for me.

It was almost sacreligious to be so damn honest about what would be utterly wonderful for me.  I’d never given myself permission to state these things before.  But once it was down on paper I found I was moved by the quality of person I was describing in those two dozen short paragraphs.  And somehow, having committed my vision to paper, this man began to take on a tangible existence.  It was spooky.  It was as though I had begun to create a reality, or at least, call a reality towards me.

Having read widely about metaphysical principles since then, I know that this is exactly what is occurring when we make things conscious and decide to move towards them.  As my old Buddhist teacher used to say, ‘It’s not so much that man wills, but that will man’s’.  In other words our will manifests into form not the other way around.  We become what we wish for.  We create our reality from our thoughts and feelings and expectations.

Now, in my work as a coach, writing about ideals is an exercise that my clients use with unremmittingly powerful results.  But back then, I somewhat innocently placed my writings on my meditation shrine, and forgot about them.  Little did I know that I’d planted a seed that would invisibly grow into a garden of opportunity, or that I’d soon be looking upon the face of the man who would become my husband.

At first I didn’t realise I’d met him. As far as I was concerned, this ‘Pat’ guy was just a housemate of a childminder friend I’d gotten to know at Jamie’s school.

Ann and I used to hang out at each other’s houses while our boys played together.  So my first few meetings with Pat were incidental – brief interactions during a flurry of noisy, stampeding boys needing after school snacks.  I was in ‘mum mode’ and, anyway, I had a background distraction still rolling with one man or another I was half involved with.  I wasn’t paying attention where it was due.  It took me a further couple of months to wake up.  And what a wake up call it was.

Towards the end of April, my much loved, dear, wise, loving gran was painfully dying in Scotland.  My sister was giving me bulletins every day, and I was waiting for news of her final passing.  Life was sharp.  My heart was so open.

Contrastingly, I was experiencing impossibly crossed wires with Martin no.2 and decided to finish it. The very night I broke it off he fell off his steep garden terrace and was hospitalised with a broken back.  I was shocked into further acute awakeness.

That same week (intuitively picking up on what was about to happen, I’m sure) I had my Spanish ex-lover from London on the phone asking for one last chance.  For the first and last time, I said ‘No’ properly.  It was after the sweat lodge prayer and I was crystal clear.  Now I was truly free from any involvment whatsoever.  I was free to pay attention where it was due.

On the Tuesday I arrived for a session of Holographic Repatterning with my friend Christina.  I had booked the session a week ago to help with my relationship with Jamie, but there was something else on the menu.

It soon emerged that the key theme I was ready to explore was meeting the right partner.  In the session, Christina revealled to me that I held the unconsious belief that ‘I could never meet a partner that could meet me on all levels’.  This was a core reason I had been compromising myself in other relationships.  She worked with me over 2 hours to shift this belief, and, three days later…

Pat was covering his childminder housemate’s shift for the day and we were looking after the boys together in the school yard.  (Actually, Ann had been trying to set us up for a while as Pat had already eyeballed me with great interest, but I hadn’t noticed).  It was the first chance Pat and I had to really talk.

I told him about Martin no.2 and the broken back.  Knowing a little about me he commented that it’s very difficult to have a relationship with someone who isn’t spiritual if you are yourself.  I liked him.  I liked the way he sat on a rock in the playground and looked like a cowboy from the wild west.

Although I didn’t know why, I agreed that I might meet him for a drink that night.  I was feeling incredibly sensitive and anti-social (and a pub is the last place I’d go at the best of times) but something led me into the Sea Trout Inn.

The Sea Trout was Pat’s regular drinking hole, just a stone’s throw from the cottage Christina had found for us to move into after our stay in the caravan.  I laid aside my puritanical Buddhist prejudices and was pleasantly surprised by the level of meaningful communication happening amongst the public bar locals.

Pat was typically animated and in full flood “You’ve gotta get outta yar head and intta yar heart” he was insisting.  He sounded like a cowboy too, or maybe one of those charismatic American preachers.

“A bit full on”  I thought to myself, but I was intrigued.  And then, suddenly, in the middle of all the passionate discussion, Pat and I gazed intently upon each other.  ‘I see you’, he said, slowly and knowingly.  ‘I see you too’, I replied with equal gravitas.

In that moment, we did indeed truly see one another.  It was like a lightening flash had struck and lit up the entire vast landscape of who we are.  The moment returned to darkness, but the flash revealed something forever.  In that moment I realised that I recognised Pat, that I knew him, and with that knowledge came the deepest trust and truest love.

look

We parted in the car park with us both feeling somewhat stunned.  “I lo…lo…lo…” Pat stammered.  He seemed to be saying something and stuffing it back into his mouth at the same time.  He looked as perplexed as I felt.  Was he trying to resist saying that he LOVES me?  Nah.  Surely not.

I went back to the cottage and received the news that my gran had just passed away.  Dear Gran.  Dear kind, loving, strong, simple, generous, understanding, fiesty, affectionate gran.  My spirit couldn’t help but elevate to commune with her and God and the afterlife and all of that other indecribable stuff that these words just don’t do justice to.  Her love and essence were filling the Devon skies and I just had to fly with her for a while.

As if in a dream, I found myself popping into the pub at Sunday lunchtime to find Pat.  It was completely unplanned.  All of a sudden I was there inviting him to take a walk on Dartmoor with me.

We talked about Gran and meditation.  Sitting by a rock pool, he told me he would have loved to study psychology if he’d ever been able to.  I told him that psychology had been my main subject at University.

Without thinking about it, I took his hand as we walked back to the car.  It was as though a greater force was acting through me.  I certainly didn’t have the where-with-all to acknowledge what was going on, or make any judgements with my head.  I was in the spontanieous and innocent world of my heart alright.

We shared our first kiss in the Sea Trout car park the next night.  I was preparing to go to Gran’s funeral later that week.  “Come… Back… To… Me…”  Pat said gently and plainly.  I’d already explained that I had a few romantic loose ends to tie up and couldn’t promise anything.  “Take whatever time you need”, he replied.

The day before I flew to Scotland, he appeared in the school playground at pick up time.  Pressing a rose quartz into my hand, he wished me well on my trip.  Keen interest and support, understanding and freedom.  This was a recipe for love.  I recognised these qualities from my ideal man list.

It took me another couple of weeks to fully absorb the significance of what was occurring, but in the aftermath of my gran’s funeral, it was a simple and inevitable fact that we would love each other and be together.  “Shall we love each other, then?” Pat had asked after an evening of endless, sublime kissing.  “Yes, let’s” I replied, but it didn’t really need an answer.

I’d never experienced anything like it.  There was no posturing or trying to impress each other and no attempts to hide our less favourable attributes – we were just relaxed and unselfconscious with each other from the very beginning.  And there was no question about whether or not we’d be together – no push-pull fear of rejection or of being overwhelmed, no insecurity whatsoever.

Likewise, there was no great destabilising intoxication – the feelings were immediate and profound, but our heads were clear and our feet were on the ground.  It was so straight forward – complete harmony, complete certainty – and left nothing to negotiate.

Sixteen months later, we were married, at a beautiful ceremony on the banks of the river Dart.

 offerings_edited

As I was to discover, Pat had also prepared well for the arrival of what he called a ‘divine relationship’ in his life.

A long time meditator like me, Pat had worked through all the issues raised by previous relationships.  He particularly practised forgiveness (including himself) and was unusually clear, more so than me, of the sort of relationship backlog that we often carry into future relationships (and mess up by referring back to ghosts instead of the person with us now).

He had also used a specific manifestation meditation to call his vision of a relationship into being.  Popularised and taught by Dr Wayne Dyer in the 90 s, this ancient practice brings together the power of the chakras, the voice, and creative visualisation.  We call it the Ah/Om meditation.

 Click Ah/Om meditation videos for full instruction and guidance on this manifestation meditation practice (filmed at one of my workshops).

 Most importantly of all, perhaps, Pat adopted an attitude that he referred to as ‘100% intention with 100% surrender’.  Although he was very clear about the partner he sought and would not compromise with less, he was also prepared for it not to happen and would be perfectly happy to stay alone should he not find his match.

This is the fine and paradoxical art of being open to one’s aspirations and creative possibilities while at the same time being fluid with our expectations.  Many people either don’t let themselves dream through fear of not suceeding or strangle their dreams by having too much at stake and therefore too desparate for them to come true.

Often we don’t let ourselves aspire by assuming we won’t succeed (‘Can’t have’), or corrupt our aspirations into egotistical ambitions by having too much self-worth at stake if they flounder (‘Must have’).

Either way, it betrays a lack of self-knowledge and self-belief.  When we see ourselves clearly and believe in ourselves, we don’t need to push things away or grab things towards us to shore up a hollow sense of ourselves.  We can allow things to be what they are, free from what we have invested in them.  In this freedom we can experience the natural flow of coming and going, and somewhat magically, all our true needs are satisfied (‘Having-ness’).

I didn’t believe that I could find someone who could meet me on all levels, so how could I HAVE that sort of relationship.  Pat certainly can meet me on all levels.

This relationship is easily the most satisfying and stimulating either of us has ever known on the domestic, physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual levels.  It is grounded and it is sacred.  We are plumming depths and scaling heights together that would have been hard to access alone.

Of course it is also intense and challenging.  We share so much.  As well as living together and joining our families, we co-created our first coaching practice, Thrivecraft.

One day last year, I came across the description of the ideal partner I wrote all that time ago.  As Pat and I re-read it together, I was filled with a strange, joyful realisation.  The man who those words described was now nuzzling my neck, sharing my life and my deepest aspirations.

It’s amazing what we can magnetise into our lives with clear intention and positivity.  Now I understand a little more about those compelling forces that brought me to Devon.

Intuition

Order your advance-publication signed copy NOW!

My new book  Diving for Pearls: The Wise Woman’s Guide to Finding Love

is being published on the 29th September 2017.

There are a limited number of advance-publication signed copies

now available directly from me.

Price (inc post)

UK – £15

Outside UK – £18

Your copy will be posted 1st Class from UK

within 3 days of payment being received.

Buy Now

Buy your copy of Diving for Pearls here

via Paypal (click below)

BUY NOW – UK- £15

BUY NOW – non UK – £18

book-cover

Dive For Your Pearls

This book is part true love story and part how-to guide. In these pages, I take you with me on the spiritual adventure of my life and share how I eventually found what I was longing for – deep trust in my own inner wisdom and a true love, soul mate and life partner that can meet me on all levels. Along with the story, I share the insights and learning that lit the way for me with the hope that this will also help illuminate your path of love and wisdom.

My quest for wisdom began when I was a child, trying to figure out if church had the answers to life’s big questions. Continuing by studying psychology at university, I was profoundly affected by the death of my father and discovered the practice of meditation. For nearly two decades thereafter, I trained for and became an ordained Buddhist.

But wisdom wasn’t enough. Although denying it for many years, deep down I also ached to be properly partnered by a soul mate – a true love that shared every aspect of my life. A series of experiences finally brought me to fulfill that destiny and the ensuing spiritual renaissance resulted in the resigning of my ordination and the founding of Thrivecraft – an inspirational coaching practice providing a universal path of love and wisdom for all.

Echoing my own journey, the first half of Pearls is about inner wisdom. Along with this part of my story, I share tips and teachings on meditation, mindfulness and intuition so that you too can tune in to your own natural inner wisdom.

The second half focuses on finding true love and includes my ‘Get Ready For Love’ step-by-step guide. I also describe how inner wisdom continues to serve a deepening relationship once you’ve met a partner (or, indeed, reveals when it is time to move on).

It is my dear wish that you will be inspired by my story and tips, transported by a special ‘Ask Your Inner Wisdom’ meditation I have created and recapture your natural entitlement to be completely guided and supported in all that you do. Go ahead and find the kind of love and wisdom that you so desire and so deserve. Dive for your pearls – they are right here and they are all yours.

Maggie Kay

 


Get Ready for Love Now

Get Ready for Love Now

one-to-one intensive coaching programme

over 3 months (flexible)

with Maggie Kay

 rumi set your life on fire

          *        Let go of the past and open to love again

          *        Clarify exactly what you want in relationship

          *        Power up self confidence, self worth and self belief

          *        Activate your love-enabling action plan

          *        Master law-of-attraction manifestation techniques

          *        Find and magnetise the partner of your dreams

 

Determined to make a quantum leap

in your love life once and for all?

Great!

Maggie’s brand new one-to-one love coaching programme

is for those who have had enough and

are willing, committed and ready to take action NOW!

                       ******************************************************

Applications open now

To arrange your free discovery session with Maggie Kay

and explore whether this powerful programme is for you

email:

maggie@maggiekaywisdom.com

****************************************************

Maggie’s True Love Story

Maggie met and married the man of her dreams – her true love soul mate who meets her on all levels – after 20 years of over-compromising in relationships.

Read her inspiring true love story here – Meeting My Match

Since 2004, Maggie has been coaching others to get ready for love and find their ideal partner, both in one-to-one coaching programmes and at her popular Get Ready for Love weekend workshops.

Get Ready for Love success stories:

The very day 42 year old Carrie wrote in her journal that she was now ready for love again, Steve literally knocked on her front door.  They are now happily living together.

Philippa, age 53,  met her partner Charlie after more than 20 years of being a single mum focused on her career.  He was the first candidate she came across on a dating website (an action Philippa had decided to take whilst following the programme) but that was enough.  They quickly recognised they’d met someone special and are enjoying life together.

29 year old Jennifer met her boyfriend Derek by chance in a crystal shop on Valentine’s day.  Although they didn’t know each other before, unbeknownst to them they had something in common – they were both having Get Ready for Love coaching with Maggie Kay!

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To arrange your free discovery session with Maggie Kay

and explore whether this programme is right for you

email:

maggie@maggiekaywisdom.com

***************************************************

Look out for Maggie’s forthcoming new book!

Diving for Pearls: A Wise Woman’s Guide to Finding Love

INTRODUCTION – INNER TREASURE

This book is part true love story and part how-to guide.  In these pages, I take you with me on the spiritual adventure of my life and share how I eventually found what I was longing for – deep trust in my own inner wisdom and a soul mate life partner that can meet me on all levels.  Along with the story, I share the insights and learning that lit the way for me with the hope that this will also help illuminate your path of love and wisdom.

My quest for wisdom began when I was a child, trying to figure out if church had the answers to life’s big questions.  Continuing by studying psychology at university, I was profoundly affected by the death of my father and discovered the practice of meditation.  For nearly two decades thereafter, I trained for and became an ordained Buddhist.

But wisdom wasn’t enough.   Although denying it for many years, deep down I also ached to be properly partnered by a soul mate – a true love that shared every aspect of my life.   A series of experiences finally brought me to fulfill that destiny and the ensuing spiritual renaissance resulted in the resigning of my ordination and founding Thrivecraft – a universal path of love and wisdom for all.

Echoing my own journey, the first half of Pearls is about inner wisdom.   Along with this part of my story, I share tips and teachings on meditation, mindfulness and intuition so that you too can tune into to your natural inner wisdom.  The second half focuses on finding true love and includes my ‘Get Ready For Love’ step-by-step guide.  I also describe how inner wisdom continues to serve a deepening relationship once you’ve met a partner (or, indeed, shows you when it’s time to move on).

It is my dear wish that you will be inspired by my story and tips, transported by a special ‘Ask Your Inner Wisdom’ meditation I have created and re-capture your natural entitlement to be completely guided and supported in all that you do.  Go ahead and find the kind of love and wisdom that you so desire and so deserve.  Dive for your pearls – they are right here and they are all yours…

Go to Diving for Pearls Facebook page here – Diving for Pearls fb page

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To register your interest in Maggie’s new book,

Diving for Pearls:  A Wise Woman’s Guide to Finding Love

email:

maggie@maggiekaywisdom.com

***************************************************


It’s All About Love

Leap year 29th February is traditionally the day when women propose marriage.

And so what a great day to let you know about my forthcoming book

Diving for Pearls: The Wise Woman’s Guide to Finding Love

which I am sending off to a publisher this very day!

love woman

Diving for Pearls is part true love story and part how-to guide.  I take you with me on the spiritual adventure of my life and share how I eventually found what I was longing for – deep trust in my own inner wisdom and a soul mate life partner that can meet me on all levels.  Along with the story, I share the insights and learning that lit the way for me with the hope that this will also help illuminate your path of love and wisdom.

My quest for wisdom began when I was a child, trying to figure out if church had the answers to life’s big questions.  Continuing by studying psychology at university, I was profoundly affected by the death of my father and discovered the practice of meditation.  For nearly two decades thereafter, I trained for and became an ordained Buddhist.

But wisdom wasn’t enough.   Although denying it for many years, deep down I also ached to be properly partnered by a soul mate – a true love that shared every aspect of my life.   A series of experiences finally brought me to fulfill that destiny and the ensuing spiritual renaissance resulted in the resigning of my ordination and founding Thrivecraft – a universal path of love and wisdom for all.

Echoing my own journey, the first half of Pearls is about inner wisdom.   Along with this part of my story, I share tips and teachings on meditation, mindfulness and intuition so that you too can tune into to your natural inner wisdom.  The second half focuses on finding true love and includes my ‘Get Ready For Love’ step-by-step guide.  I also describe how inner wisdom continues to serve a deepening relationship once you’ve met a partner (or, indeed, shows you when it’s time to move on).

It is my dear wish that you will be inspired by my story and tips, transported by a special ‘Ask Your Inner Wisdom’ meditation I have created and re-capture your natural entitlement to be completely guided and supported in all that you do.  Go ahead and find the kind of love and wisdom that you so desire and so deserve.  Dive for your pearls – they are right here and they are all yours…

***

Want to order a copy of Diving for Pearls?

Register your interest by emailing me at

maggie@maggiekaywisdom.com

I’ll put you on the pre-order list and keep you up to date with developments.

You’ll be the first to know what’s going on…

You can visit my Diving for Pearls Facebook page here

Diving for Pearls fb page

***

Thank you to my mentor Julia

Some of you may remember that in 2014 I won a scholarship with conscious writing mentor and Hay House author, Julia McCutchen,  www.juliamccutchen.com.  I am delighted that the result of Julia’s fabulous mentoring is now well on its way to publication.

This June, I am again supporting Julia on her Conscious Writing retreat which is held in Glastonbury, UK.  As well as being hugely enjoyable, Julia’s holistic approach can create surprising breakthroughs. Here I am giving my video testimonial – Maggie’s retreat testimonial.

rumi set your life on fire

New – Get Ready for Love – Coaching Programme

My other big news is that I am creating a brand new intensive coaching programme

Get Ready for Love

If now is your time to let go of the past, develop unshakable self belief and prepare yourself for the BEST relationship of your life – I am standing by with my tried and tested methods and powerful magic to launch you on your way.

Get ready for, find and attract your ideal love match – fast!

More details coming soon…

Drop me an email if you’d like to know more at

maggie@maggiekaywisdom.com

 

 

 


Art of Love Relationship Workshop

The Art of Love

Creating & Deepening Fulfilling Relationships

For singles, couples and all

 

Thrivecraft Weekend Workshop

with Srimati

Near Totnes, Devon, UK

  Sat 15 / Sun 16 June 2013

blue buddha face

An inspiring, powerful and warm-hearted workshop to

   * Get ready for and manifest your ideal new relationship

   * Re-invigorate and deepen connection with your partner

   * Let go of the past and deal with relationship issues

   * Communicate better with family, friends and colleagues

   * Boost confidence, self worth, fulfillment and happiness

   * Share wisdom and support with other friendly Thrivecrafters

……………………………………………………………….

Understand.  Trust.  Enjoy.

Find clarity.  Be inspired.  Create your dreams.

………………………………………………………………………………………………..

At Glazebrook Country House Hotel

Near Totnes, Devon, UK

Click here for Glazebrook Country House Hotel website

 £149

 includes lunches and refreshments

For more info and to book, click orange button below:

Eventbrite - The Art of Love: Create & Deepen Fulfilling Relationships


True Love

It’s the eve of Valentine’s Day and I’m thinking about LOVE…

Love has to be my favourite topic and I have written articles, scoped out books, given talks, recorded videos, led workshops and guided meditations on love many, many times.

So how do you find your ideal partner?

It took me a while to find the true love relationship I always wanted.  I was 38 and Pat was 50 before we met and we’d both had our fair share of ups and downs in relationship before finding each other.  

Here’s my article from Connect Magazine – Meeting My Match – about how I finally prepared myself for and attracted a really great life partner:

http://srimati.com/2010/06/22/meeting-my-match-my-revealing-true-love-story/

Pat and I at our wedding in 2003 – making offerings to the river

It wasn’t long before I was inspired to run Get Ready for Love workshops as part of my coaching practice.  During the course of a weekend, participants dived into the deep and delightful process of preparing themselves for a superb relationship.

This article by the Daily Express, shares some of my top tips on getting ready for love:

http://www.thrivecraft.co.uk/lovecoaching/lovearticles/ready4love/ready4love.html

In this video, I remind us of the golden rules that enable us to attract what we really want into our lives – including a great partner:

 

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone.  Please do share your own true love stories with us here in the comments box.  It’s a wonderful thing to share…


My Wonderful Husband, The Holy Cornishman

My finger was poised above the ‘post’ button when I stopped and decided to sleep on it.  I’d just written my latest blog – an appreciation of my wonderful husband, Pat, the Holy Cornishman – but wanted to look it over again in the morning.  The topic had come about because I’ve been curious for a while – who ARE the partners in the shadows of all these lime-lit colleagues I know so well?  As well as this, I’d been thinking it was high time I celebrated the fantastic man who shares my life.

Coincidentally, fellow coach Cathy Dean (the Colourful Coach) was tweeting about how supportive her husband was.  And so, we cooked up a plan to write concurrent blogs honouring our partners.  Cathy’s is here, but mine didn’t make it at the time…  http://colourfulcoach.wordpress.com/2010/10/01/my-lovely-husband-an-appreciation/

Pat and I had been in Cornwall for a week at our cliff top caravan overlooking the atlantic.  We were due to stay for another few days, however, nature intervened – the toothache I’d had for a couple of days showed no sign of waning.  Time to get home to Devon and visit the dentist!  Only today, two weeks later, have I emerged from a dark tunnel of pain and treatment – the likes of which I rarely suffer – and am blinking in the light, wondering what it’s like out here in the big world.

Reading back over my unposted blog, it seems to belong to another lifetime!  Its amazing how an intense experience (like being ill) can bend your perception of time.  However, it still merits being published, especially since Pat has been such a total star at looking after me while I’ve not been well.  So here it is, updated and revived for today.

Thinking about this topic has slowed up my writing.  It made me want to get my nose out of my work for a change and enjoy some time with my lovely husband!  And so Pat and I had some great little trips out while we were based in Cornwall – enjoying the annual Boscastle Festival, the amazing countryside and more than one Cornish pasty!

He is right here with me every day – inside this intimate bubble I call ‘my life’ – sharing the same duvet, drinking tea from the same kettle, wiping his feet on the same door mat.  Pat and I spend huge amounts of time together (living and working together 24/7 as we mostly do), however, sometimes I forget to appreciate what an incredible partnership we enjoy, let alone what a miracle of creation he is in his own right!

There’s a psychological phenomenon called habituation.  What it describes is the tendency to stop noticing what is familiar to you.  Usual, everyday things become part of our background wallpaper and are no longer so visible.  This applies to our relationships too.  And so, like all of us, its easy for me to let my attention drift to more demanding things and take my beloved husband for granted.

I’m also a bit astrologically challenged when it comes to intimate relationships.  For those of you in the know, I have five major planets ( yes five!) in Aquarius.  An Aquarian trait is to so busy out there ‘saving the world’ that you can seem cool and aloof to your nearest and dearest.  I generally experience myself as a warm, loving person, but I can relate to this tendency to overlook those closest to me whilst my attention is out there on the far horizon.

But every now and then I remember what a stunning man I have in my life.  You’d think I would never forget because it took me long enough to find him!  This treasure of a relationship came at the end of a long and ardous journey in the quest to find the right partner.  Our amazing ‘finding true love’ experience inspired a whole strand of work and it wasn’t long before I was running Get Ready for Love workshops to help other people attract their ideal mate.

The other night, I remembered.  Pat and I had been at our Cornwall caravan for a few days.  We were cuddled up watching a romantic TV programme with a bottle of wine and I suddenly found myself moved to the core.  Okay, I admit it, I’m one of those people who gets soppy after a couple of glasses of wine.  I go all soft and heart-melty and amorous – no wonder he’s so pleased when I share a bottle of wine with him!

That night, Pat made a throw away comment about one of the TV characters being just like him.  Suddenly, I piped up with emphatic passion “But you are so much warmer – a firey Cornishman with attitude!”  And as I spoke those words I was sucked away to a vantage point where I could stand back really SEE him afresh – his strength of character, his bright mind, his quirky humour – and all the reasons why I love him so much.

BANG! a massive rush of emotion brought me to tears and I delivered a long, gushing love speech to him.  Pat is one of those amazing, demonstrative men who oten tells me how much he loves me and is liberal with his hugs and compliments.  And although I feel the same about him, I am more remiss in my expressions of affection.  It takes a slug of wine and a good TV romance to wake me out of my complacency!

As I burbled uncontrollably that night, I love everything about him – the way he looks, the way he talks and the way he carries himself – just everything!  One of my favourites is that he’s a blokey bloke – energetic and charismatic – yet is completely at home with his feminine side.  He has all the other guys at the bar roaring with laughter and at the same time he’s deeply intuitive and more than a little psychic (which can be a bit unnerving at times, but jolly useful on the whole!)

Pat’s 6th sense is quick and penetrating.  For example he always spots a dubious motive powering along a fool-hardy decision.  It means I don’t get away with fooling myself about anything and I can kick up about that (a foolish ego trip does not like to be found out!) but I’m always grateful in the end.  He has got used to making waves with his irrepressible truth detector.  He sometimes calls it a curse, but I think it’s an astounding gift.

On the practical level, there’s something astonishing about how compatible we are.  We ALWAYS like the same things, be it furnishings, music, books, countries, houses, clothes, cars, animals, you name it.  Many’s the time we’ve both wondered towards each other in a shop, excitedly carrying the same item to show the ther.  And we share a Zen-minimalist-tidyness (just try coming round and dumping your coat somewhere other than the cloakroom!) which makes living in a small space like a caravan easy for us.   There’s a real grace and ease between us – like a wordless, flowing, ballet dance.

But the compatibility doesn’t stop there.  We MEET each other on every level – intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, physically – something I’ve never experienced in one partner package before.  Sometimes I say to Pat that I’ve been in love with him my whole life.  One of the keenest things I sensed when we met was that we’d been together in previous lives.  It’s as though there’s always been a Pat shaped gap in my life until we found each other again in 2002.  If you’ve not read it already, here’s a magazine article telling the story of how we met…

 Meeting My Match  – http://wp.me/ps0N4-9U

However, if I had to pick one thing about Pat that sums up why he is so fantastic to be with it would be this – his PRESENCE.  What I mean is that he is switched on, awake, conscious, aware, paying attention.  Never pre-occupied with other things (like me!) he is present in every moment – hearing what I say, sensing what I feel, observing what needs to happen next.

He is a man of body and soul as well as heart and mind , alive to his total experience all the time.  When I talk to him he gives me his fullest, deepest, loving attention.  When he touches me, he touches me with with his whole energetic being, not just his body.  Believe me, I know how rare this is!  The man is a phenomenon!

Of course we’ve had our intense run-ins over the years (we are quite a match in the adamant department too!), but what is fantastic about us is our mutual commitment to get to the bottom of what’s gone off kilter, what it is our conflict is trying to show us.  We accept the principle of taking responsibility for ourself and not blaming the other, even if we can’t always practice it in the heat of the moment.  Eventually we get there, even if it takes a day or two.  I always say if there’s the ability and willingness to communicate, most relationship problems can be overcome.

A Course in Miracles  http://www.amazon.co.uk/Course-Miracles-Foundation-Inner-Peace/dp/1883360269/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1287440966&sr=1-1  is a wonderful spiritual workbook that makes an emphatic point about relationships – our partner (or any other person we ever encounter, for that matter) is ALWAYS being a mirror, showing us something about US that we need to see and understand.  It is pointless to blame the other person for making us happy or unhappy.  We can only look to ourselves – to our own responses to how our partner is behaving – and learn from that.  We should never seek to change another.  Happiness can only come from within.

One of my favourite books about relationship is Stephen and Ondrea Levine’s Embracing the Beloved: Relationship as a Path of Awakening.  http://www.amazon.co.uk/Embracing-Beloved-Relationship-Path-Awakening/dp/0717134334/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1287440842&sr=1-2  It’s a beautiful, poetic book that has inspired my desire for meaningful relationship with a life partner for many years.

 And then there’s David Deida’s, Finding God Through Sex http://www.amazon.co.uk/Finding-God-Through-Sex-Awakening/dp/1591792738/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1287440649&sr=1-1#noop – a powerful, raw, yet sensitive treatment of what our physical love making is truly all about.  Only when I met Pat did I begin to experience and practice what these authors write about so eloquently.

So, perhaps that’s a good note to wind up on.  Hmm, but you might be curious to see the man himself?  Well, you can.  Here’s he is, talking on video in his Love of Spiritual Man series.  In this clip he’s talking about what makes our relationship special.   After all, he should know!