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Diving for Pearls Now Available

book-cover

My new book  Diving for Pearls: The Wise Woman’s Guide to Finding Love

is now published!

Book and e-book available from Amazon, click here:

Buy Now on Amazon

***

Dive For Your Pearls

This book is part true love story and part how-to guide. In these pages, I take you with me on the spiritual adventure of my life and share how I eventually found what I was longing for – deep trust in my own inner wisdom and a true love, soul mate and life partner that can meet me on all levels. Along with the story, I share the insights and learning that lit the way for me with the hope that this will also help illuminate your path of love and wisdom.

My quest for wisdom began when I was a child, trying to figure out if church had the answers to life’s big questions. Continuing by studying psychology at university, I was profoundly affected by the death of my father and discovered the practice of meditation. For nearly two decades thereafter, I trained for and became an ordained Buddhist.

But wisdom wasn’t enough. Although denying it for many years, deep down I also ached to be properly partnered by a soul mate – a true love that shared every aspect of my life. A series of experiences finally brought me to fulfill that destiny and the ensuing spiritual renaissance resulted in the resigning of my ordination and the founding of Thrivecraft – an inspirational coaching practice providing a universal path of love and wisdom for all.

Echoing my own journey, the first half of Pearls is about inner wisdom. Along with this part of my story, I share tips and teachings on meditation, mindfulness and intuition so that you too can tune in to your own natural inner wisdom.

The second half focuses on finding true love and includes my ‘Get Ready For Love’ step-by-step guide. I also describe how inner wisdom continues to serve a deepening relationship once you’ve met a partner (or, indeed, reveals when it is time to move on).

It is my dear wish that you will be inspired by my story and tips, transported by a special ‘Ask Your Inner Wisdom’ meditation I have created and recapture your natural entitlement to be completely guided and supported in all that you do. Go ahead and find the kind of love and wisdom that you so desire and so deserve. Dive for your pearls – they are right here and they are all yours.

Maggie Kay

 

Click here to

Buy Now on Amazon

Click here to watch

Maggie talk about Diving for Pearls


Diving for Pearls Book Launch Party

book-cover

Maggie Kay invites you to

come and celebrate the

publication of her first book

Diving for Pearls:

The Wise Woman’s Guide to Finding Love 

At

Totnes Natural Health Centre

the Plains, Totnes, Devon

On

Friday 29 September

publication day

From 6pm

 For an evening of

celebration and refreshments

 

Plus

Guided meditation

Reading from Diving for Pearls

Q&A with Maggie

 

 And an opportunity to have

your book personally signed by Maggie Kay


Diving for Pearls Now Available

Order your advance-publication signed copy NOW!

My new book  Diving for Pearls: The Wise Woman’s Guide to Finding Love

is being published on the 29th September 2017.

There are a limited number of advance-publication signed copies

now available directly from me.

Price (inc post)

UK – £15

Outside UK – £18

Your copy will be posted 1st Class from UK

within 3 days of payment being received.

Buy Now

Buy your copy of Diving for Pearls here

via Paypal (click below)

BUY NOW – UK- £15

BUY NOW – non UK – £18

book-cover

Dive For Your Pearls

This book is part true love story and part how-to guide. In these pages, I take you with me on the spiritual adventure of my life and share how I eventually found what I was longing for – deep trust in my own inner wisdom and a true love, soul mate and life partner that can meet me on all levels. Along with the story, I share the insights and learning that lit the way for me with the hope that this will also help illuminate your path of love and wisdom.

My quest for wisdom began when I was a child, trying to figure out if church had the answers to life’s big questions. Continuing by studying psychology at university, I was profoundly affected by the death of my father and discovered the practice of meditation. For nearly two decades thereafter, I trained for and became an ordained Buddhist.

But wisdom wasn’t enough. Although denying it for many years, deep down I also ached to be properly partnered by a soul mate – a true love that shared every aspect of my life. A series of experiences finally brought me to fulfill that destiny and the ensuing spiritual renaissance resulted in the resigning of my ordination and the founding of Thrivecraft – an inspirational coaching practice providing a universal path of love and wisdom for all.

Echoing my own journey, the first half of Pearls is about inner wisdom. Along with this part of my story, I share tips and teachings on meditation, mindfulness and intuition so that you too can tune in to your own natural inner wisdom.

The second half focuses on finding true love and includes my ‘Get Ready For Love’ step-by-step guide. I also describe how inner wisdom continues to serve a deepening relationship once you’ve met a partner (or, indeed, reveals when it is time to move on).

It is my dear wish that you will be inspired by my story and tips, transported by a special ‘Ask Your Inner Wisdom’ meditation I have created and recapture your natural entitlement to be completely guided and supported in all that you do. Go ahead and find the kind of love and wisdom that you so desire and so deserve. Dive for your pearls – they are right here and they are all yours.

Maggie Kay


Ask Maggie About Love

New – Ask Maggie on Source TV

Check out Maggie Kay’s new Source TV show – Ask Maggie – where she answers your love and relationship questions and helps you find and attract your ideal love match.

In the episode below, Maggie explains how she solved her own ‘love paradox’.

ASK MAGGIE – How Maggie Solved Her Own ‘Love Paradox’ from Source.TV

If you have a love or relationship question you’d like to ask, email Maggie at

maggie@maggiekaywisdom.com

Maggie will film your answer and let you know when that episode is being broadcast.

Thank You Source TV

Maggie Kay Nominated UK Leading Evolutionary

logo-one-of-the-144

Click – Maggie Kay on Source TV


How I Found My Soulmate

Extract from my new book

Diving for Pearls: The Wise Woman’s Guide to Finding Love.

How did I manage to find my true love and soul mate?

“Totnes is full of single mothers and hardly any single men” – my new friends in Devon were quite adamant.  “I hope you’re not expecting to find a partner down here!”  But I wasn’t moving to rural south west England to find a partner, not yet anyway.

After 16 years living in a Buddhist community in London, it was time to move on, and my longing for a rural lifestyle could no longer be ignored.  But most importantly of all, my seven-year-old son, Jamie, deserved a more gentle upbringing than a city could afford.

Despite the good reasons, however, there was also an element of strange magnetism I couldn’t put my finger on.  In many ways I was leaving a great situation and jumping into the unknown,  but there was a compelling force drawing me on – and I had a daring, inexplicable knowledge that this was absolutely the right move.

So, one sunny September morning in 2001, I packed my little grey Peugot to bursting, strapped Jamie in the front beside me, and set off for our new life in the country.

rumi set your life on fire

At 37, I was a free agent for the first time pretty much since my teens.  I’d split amicably from Jamie’s dad two years ago.  It was the most civilised split I’ve ever heard of, but even so, the impact of separating the family was utterly devastating.

My escape came in the form of a smouldering Spanish guy from my 5 Rhythms dance class.  However it wasn’t long before I became emotionally trashed by this crazy sex fest of a so called relationship.  I was so fragile that I clung on for far too long.  Moving to Devon would make sure it was over for good.  For the first time in all those years, I was single, and I felt it.  I was F – R – E – E  !

My heart was soaring when we got out to stretch our legs at Stonehenge.  What an incredible monument to mark the half way point to Devon.  The sky was blue and the ancient stones seemed to be humming with affirmation that we were doing the right thing.  We weren’t in dirty, frantic, complicated London now.  Here was the gateway to a whole new magical realm.

Our first base was a caravan in a charming farm campsite not far from Totnes.  We were leaving behind a lovely, secure and affordable home in London.  It was part of a triangle of Victorian maisonettes with gardens backing on to each other so the kids were safe to roam around with each other.

I was glad that Jamie still had some of that now – access to an indoor swimming pool and an adventure playground and a few other families who were temporarily living at the campsite during the offseason just like us.

There was a lot to do – a home to find, school for Jamie, money to earn, new friends to make.  I was fully occupied and completely excited by the experience of making this beautiful place our home.

Originally a spa town, Totnes is known as the ‘alternative capital of the UK’ and has attracted all sorts of interesting people and progressive projects into it’s midst over the decades.  And driving through the stunning countryside brought me out in mild bliss every day – very different from the tension that inevitably comes with ‘cheeky driving’ through London traffic.

But by night I was lonely and reeling from all the changes.  Jamie was having a tough time too and was unsettled at school.  He was understandably disturbed and angry about being ripped away from all he knew, and I was feeling the strain and guilt.  (What possessed me to think he’d settle at the fairy-like Steiner School after his formative years in inner city mainstream education?)

Sometimes the grief and disorientation were almost unbearable.  It would have been so comforting to have someone intimate to share all this with – a manly chest to snuggle into…

So, in night time lonely autopilot, I reached out half heartedly for a liaison.  Computer dating was a pleasant distraction, safe in the knowledge that everyone was at a reassuring cyber distance.  The few dates I met up with soon dissolved any cosy illusions of romance I’d entertained myself with.

There were also a few ‘real’ single men I ran into (despite what my friends had said, Totnes seemed to have plenty of them).  I spent a month with Martin no.1, and another with Martin no.2, and hung out with an attractive new friend while he was between girlfriends.  But none of it was right and nothing got off the ground.

I knew that this was because I still had some healing to do, and at last I decided to co-operate with the process.  I needed to do what usually has to be done when recovering from one relationship and preparing for another – to stay in the gap for as long as it takes and be with myself for a while.

I was overdue to complete some unfinished emotional business – to understand what had happened and why; to let go of hurts and fears; to re-asses who I am now; and establish what kind of relationship would be good for me next.

As a meditator I already had an invaluable tool at my disposal.  Meditation gives emotional space and opens up a bigger perspective that allows us to face challenges positively.   Along with regular chats with insightful friends and family, my meditation practise gave me the resources to navigate my way through the stormy emotional waters.

So did my practice of 5 Rhythms Dance.  At my weekly class, and in the privacy of my own home, this wonderful form of dance free expression accessed and gave full voice to the stories and emotions stuck in my body.  I danced and roared and stamped and cried (a lot!) and laughed and gave thanks and laid the ghosts to rest.  Over the weeks I became clearer, free-er and more peaceful.

In early February I attended a sweat lodge held by a lovely local shaman down by the River Dart.   In the dark, eerie beauty of a winter forest, we ceremonially heated huge stones in a roaring wooden pyre.  Once ready, the hot stones were brought into the lodge one by one and sprinkled with sage water.

We sat in a circle inside the lodge, naked and in total darkness, sweating and singing and praying.  It was like being inside a womb of pure spirit.  We spoke aloud one at a time, each prayer seeming to come from infinite consciousness and be sent out into the entire universe.  My prayer was spontaneous and ardent – “Please help me let go of the past and allow me the time and space I need before I get involved in another relationship.”

Dharma Life Cover

During one of my more contented evenings, and inspired by Oriah Mountain Dreamer’s book, ‘The Invitation’, I did some reflective writing.  In a deep, prayerful way, I wrote about what I longed for – the kind of loving partner that would be ideal for me.

It was almost sacreligious to be so damn honest about what would be utterly wonderful for me.  I’d never given myself permission to state these things before.  But once it was down on paper I found I was moved by the quality of person I was describing in those two dozen short paragraphs.  And somehow, having committed my vision to paper, this man began to take on a tangible existence.  It was spooky.  It was as though I had begun to create a reality, or at least, call a reality towards me.

Having read widely about metaphysical principles since then, I know that this is exactly what is occurring when we make things conscious and decide to move towards them.  As my old Buddhist teacher used to say, ‘It’s not so much that man wills, but that will man’s’.  In other words our will manifests into form not the other way around.  We become what we wish for.  We create our reality from our thoughts and feelings and expectations.

Now, in my work as a coach, writing about ideals is an exercise that my clients use with unremmittingly powerful results.  But back then, I somewhat innocently placed my writings on my meditation shrine, and forgot about them.  Little did I know that I’d planted a seed that would invisibly grow into a garden of opportunity, or that I’d soon be looking upon the face of the man who would become my husband.

At first I didn’t realise I’d met him. As far as I was concerned, this ‘Pat’ guy was just a housemate of a childminder friend I’d gotten to know at Jamie’s school.

Ann and I used to hang out at each other’s houses while our boys played together.  So my first few meetings with Pat were incidental – brief interactions during a flurry of noisy, stampeding boys needing after school snacks.  I was in ‘mum mode’ and, anyway, I had a background distraction still rolling with one man or another I was half involved with.  I wasn’t paying attention where it was due.  It took me a further couple of months to wake up.  And what a wake up call it was.

Towards the end of April, my much loved, dear, wise, loving gran was painfully dying in Scotland.  My sister was giving me bulletins every day, and I was waiting for news of her final passing.  Life was sharp.  My heart was so open.

Contrastingly, I was experiencing impossibly crossed wires with Martin no.2 and decided to finish it. The very night I broke it off he fell off his steep garden terrace and was hospitalised with a broken back.  I was shocked into further acute awakeness.

That same week (intuitively picking up on what was about to happen, I’m sure) I had my Spanish ex-lover from London on the phone asking for one last chance.  For the first and last time, I said ‘No’ properly.  It was after the sweat lodge prayer and I was crystal clear.  Now I was truly free from any involvment whatsoever.  I was free to pay attention where it was due.

On the Tuesday I arrived for a session of Holographic Repatterning with my friend Christina.  I had booked the session a week ago to help with my relationship with Jamie, but there was something else on the menu.

It soon emerged that the key theme I was ready to explore was meeting the right partner.  In the session, Christina revealled to me that I held the unconsious belief that ‘I could never meet a partner that could meet me on all levels’.  This was a core reason I had been compromising myself in other relationships.  She worked with me over 2 hours to shift this belief, and, three days later…

Pat was covering his childminder housemate’s shift for the day and we were looking after the boys together in the school yard.  (Actually, Ann had been trying to set us up for a while as Pat had already eyeballed me with great interest, but I hadn’t noticed).  It was the first chance Pat and I had to really talk.

I told him about Martin no.2 and the broken back.  Knowing a little about me he commented that it’s very difficult to have a relationship with someone who isn’t spiritual if you are yourself.  I liked him.  I liked the way he sat on a rock in the playground and looked like a cowboy from the wild west.

Although I didn’t know why, I agreed that I might meet him for a drink that night.  I was feeling incredibly sensitive and anti-social (and a pub is the last place I’d go at the best of times) but something led me into the Sea Trout Inn.

The Sea Trout was Pat’s regular drinking hole, just a stone’s throw from the cottage Christina had found for us to move into after our stay in the caravan.  I laid aside my puritanical Buddhist prejudices and was pleasantly surprised by the level of meaningful communication happening amongst the public bar locals.

Pat was typically animated and in full flood “You’ve gotta get outta yar head and intta yar heart” he was insisting.  He sounded like a cowboy too, or maybe one of those charismatic American preachers.

“A bit full on”  I thought to myself, but I was intrigued.  And then, suddenly, in the middle of all the passionate discussion, Pat and I gazed intently upon each other.  ‘I see you’, he said, slowly and knowingly.  ‘I see you too’, I replied with equal gravitas.

In that moment, we did indeed truly see one another.  It was like a lightening flash had struck and lit up the entire vast landscape of who we are.  The moment returned to darkness, but the flash revealed something forever.  In that moment I realised that I recognised Pat, that I knew him, and with that knowledge came the deepest trust and truest love.

look

We parted in the car park with us both feeling somewhat stunned.  “I lo…lo…lo…” Pat stammered.  He seemed to be saying something and stuffing it back into his mouth at the same time.  He looked as perplexed as I felt.  Was he trying to resist saying that he LOVES me?  Nah.  Surely not.

I went back to the cottage and received the news that my gran had just passed away.  Dear Gran.  Dear kind, loving, strong, simple, generous, understanding, fiesty, affectionate gran.  My spirit couldn’t help but elevate to commune with her and God and the afterlife and all of that other indecribable stuff that these words just don’t do justice to.  Her love and essence were filling the Devon skies and I just had to fly with her for a while.

As if in a dream, I found myself popping into the pub at Sunday lunchtime to find Pat.  It was completely unplanned.  All of a sudden I was there inviting him to take a walk on Dartmoor with me.

We talked about Gran and meditation.  Sitting by a rock pool, he told me he would have loved to study psychology if he’d ever been able to.  I told him that psychology had been my main subject at University.

Without thinking about it, I took his hand as we walked back to the car.  It was as though a greater force was acting through me.  I certainly didn’t have the where-with-all to acknowledge what was going on, or make any judgements with my head.  I was in the spontanieous and innocent world of my heart alright.

We shared our first kiss in the Sea Trout car park the next night.  I was preparing to go to Gran’s funeral later that week.  “Come… Back… To… Me…”  Pat said gently and plainly.  I’d already explained that I had a few romantic loose ends to tie up and couldn’t promise anything.  “Take whatever time you need”, he replied.

The day before I flew to Scotland, he appeared in the school playground at pick up time.  Pressing a rose quartz into my hand, he wished me well on my trip.  Keen interest and support, understanding and freedom.  This was a recipe for love.  I recognised these qualities from my ideal man list.

It took me another couple of weeks to fully absorb the significance of what was occurring, but in the aftermath of my gran’s funeral, it was a simple and inevitable fact that we would love each other and be together.  “Shall we love each other, then?” Pat had asked after an evening of endless, sublime kissing.  “Yes, let’s” I replied, but it didn’t really need an answer.

I’d never experienced anything like it.  There was no posturing or trying to impress each other and no attempts to hide our less favourable attributes – we were just relaxed and unselfconscious with each other from the very beginning.  And there was no question about whether or not we’d be together – no push-pull fear of rejection or of being overwhelmed, no insecurity whatsoever.

Likewise, there was no great destabilising intoxication – the feelings were immediate and profound, but our heads were clear and our feet were on the ground.  It was so straight forward – complete harmony, complete certainty – and left nothing to negotiate.

Sixteen months later, we were married, at a beautiful ceremony on the banks of the river Dart.

 offerings_edited

As I was to discover, Pat had also prepared well for the arrival of what he called a ‘divine relationship’ in his life.

A long time meditator like me, Pat had worked through all the issues raised by previous relationships.  He particularly practised forgiveness (including himself) and was unusually clear, more so than me, of the sort of relationship backlog that we often carry into future relationships (and mess up by referring back to ghosts instead of the person with us now).

He had also used a specific manifestation meditation to call his vision of a relationship into being.  Popularised and taught by Dr Wayne Dyer in the 90 s, this ancient practice brings together the power of the chakras, the voice, and creative visualisation.  We call it the Ah/Om meditation.

 Click Ah/Om meditation videos for full instruction and guidance on this manifestation meditation practice (filmed at one of my workshops).

 Most importantly of all, perhaps, Pat adopted an attitude that he referred to as ‘100% intention with 100% surrender’.  Although he was very clear about the partner he sought and would not compromise with less, he was also prepared for it not to happen and would be perfectly happy to stay alone should he not find his match.

This is the fine and paradoxical art of being open to one’s aspirations and creative possibilities while at the same time being fluid with our expectations.  Many people either don’t let themselves dream through fear of not suceeding or strangle their dreams by having too much at stake and therefore too desparate for them to come true.

Often we don’t let ourselves aspire by assuming we won’t succeed (‘Can’t have’), or corrupt our aspirations into egotistical ambitions by having too much self-worth at stake if they flounder (‘Must have’).

Either way, it betrays a lack of self-knowledge and self-belief.  When we see ourselves clearly and believe in ourselves, we don’t need to push things away or grab things towards us to shore up a hollow sense of ourselves.  We can allow things to be what they are, free from what we have invested in them.  In this freedom we can experience the natural flow of coming and going, and somewhat magically, all our true needs are satisfied (‘Having-ness’).

I didn’t believe that I could find someone who could meet me on all levels, so how could I HAVE that sort of relationship.  Pat certainly can meet me on all levels.

This relationship is easily the most satisfying and stimulating either of us has ever known on the domestic, physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual levels.  It is grounded and it is sacred.  We are plumming depths and scaling heights together that would have been hard to access alone.

Of course it is also intense and challenging.  We share so much.  As well as living together and joining our families, we co-created our first coaching practice, Thrivecraft.

One day last year, I came across the description of the ideal partner I wrote all that time ago.  As Pat and I re-read it together, I was filled with a strange, joyful realisation.  The man who those words described was now nuzzling my neck, sharing my life and my deepest aspirations.

It’s amazing what we can magnetise into our lives with clear intention and positivity.  Now I understand a little more about those compelling forces that brought me to Devon.

Intuition

Order your advance-publication signed copy NOW!

My new book  Diving for Pearls: The Wise Woman’s Guide to Finding Love

is being published on the 29th September 2017.

There are a limited number of advance-publication signed copies

now available directly from me.

Price (inc post)

UK – £15

Outside UK – £18

Your copy will be posted 1st Class from UK

within 3 days of payment being received.

Buy Now

Buy your copy of Diving for Pearls here

via Paypal (click below)

BUY NOW – UK- £15

BUY NOW – non UK – £18

book-cover

Dive For Your Pearls

This book is part true love story and part how-to guide. In these pages, I take you with me on the spiritual adventure of my life and share how I eventually found what I was longing for – deep trust in my own inner wisdom and a true love, soul mate and life partner that can meet me on all levels. Along with the story, I share the insights and learning that lit the way for me with the hope that this will also help illuminate your path of love and wisdom.

My quest for wisdom began when I was a child, trying to figure out if church had the answers to life’s big questions. Continuing by studying psychology at university, I was profoundly affected by the death of my father and discovered the practice of meditation. For nearly two decades thereafter, I trained for and became an ordained Buddhist.

But wisdom wasn’t enough. Although denying it for many years, deep down I also ached to be properly partnered by a soul mate – a true love that shared every aspect of my life. A series of experiences finally brought me to fulfill that destiny and the ensuing spiritual renaissance resulted in the resigning of my ordination and the founding of Thrivecraft – an inspirational coaching practice providing a universal path of love and wisdom for all.

Echoing my own journey, the first half of Pearls is about inner wisdom. Along with this part of my story, I share tips and teachings on meditation, mindfulness and intuition so that you too can tune in to your own natural inner wisdom.

The second half focuses on finding true love and includes my ‘Get Ready For Love’ step-by-step guide. I also describe how inner wisdom continues to serve a deepening relationship once you’ve met a partner (or, indeed, reveals when it is time to move on).

It is my dear wish that you will be inspired by my story and tips, transported by a special ‘Ask Your Inner Wisdom’ meditation I have created and recapture your natural entitlement to be completely guided and supported in all that you do. Go ahead and find the kind of love and wisdom that you so desire and so deserve. Dive for your pearls – they are right here and they are all yours.

Maggie Kay

 


Every Pearl is Perfect

Extract from my forthcoming book – Diving for Pearls: A Wise Woman’s Guide to Finding Love.  Click for Diving for Pearls Facebook page

A Cornishman with Attitude

The extraordinary thing about connecting with Pat is that he was NOTHING like anyone I’d been hanging out with in decades.  For a start, his favourite place to socialise was the pub – something that was completely alien to me being a tee-totalling ordained Buddhist.  It wasn’t just the drinking that made Pat and I an unlikely couple, however, it was also the smoking, the meat eating and the TV watching – Pat’s that is!

Much as I’d been massively sensitised to avoid all that – in fact I’d taken VOWS against most of it – and would normally find those behaviours repellent, in Pat’s case I didn’t seem to notice.  This is a bit of an odd phenomenon to describe, but I guess it was a matter of connecting with Pat’s true being so profoundly, and finding him so compelling at that deep level, that those relatively superficial things just didn’t register.

In fact I have now come to recognise that these differences between us have been part of the magic of our relationship and one of my greatest learnings.  Falling in love with a man who, in spiritual circles, is considered to behave so ‘blasphemously’ has been an excellent antidote to any spiritual preciousness I was carrying.  It helped me drop any hoity toity idea of what is proper and ‘spiritual’ – the right thing to eat, the right thing to wear, the right thing to say – and recognise that true spirituality comes in many guises.

So how come I found this beer swilling, cigarette puffing, oft swearing Cornishman so compelling?  The truth is, Pat is one of the most profoundly spiritually evolved people I have ever known, and I must have instinctively sensed that right away, despite appearances.

He is a trickster, a holy fool – often misunderstood and misjudged – but those who see and love him, really see and love something extraordinary.   For a start, although he can appear fierce, impatient and provocative (a red-headed, Aries/Dragon-born Cornishman with attitude), Pat loves powerfully and unconditionally and carries no judgement of others.  His challenges are a form of play and a call for whoever he is talking to wake up to themselves.  Most unusually, however, he is not doing it for any personal gratification – to score a point or make himself feel good – and is not attached to any particular outcome.  In fact, most often his playful prods are involuntary, a kind of automatic truth seeking device.  He calls it his curse, but of course it is his gift too.

True Love Cuts Deep

Finding the right partner is a popular priority amongst my coaching clients.  I’ve had the great joy of assisting many through to that magical moment of meeting someone amazing – the ‘wow’ moment when all the soul work pays off.  I’ve also had the fulfilment of then supporting the same person navigate the deepening waters of relationship once it’s established (sometimes coaching the couple together).

The job’s not done when we finally meet our match.  Not surprisingly, whatever personal issues we each carry about relationship re-emerge big time once the relationship is under way.  It is all there to be made conscious and explored and resolved should we choose to, and actually being with someone throws it all up into stark, potent reality.

There is something about a sexual love relationship that touches us more deeply than anything else.  It stirs up our deepest and darkest as well as our most brilliant and best.  This is something I was re-assuring a newly love-sick client about only last week.  ‘A fine mess you’ve got me into, Stanley’ she titled her email.  ‘Help! I can’t eat, work, sleep….’

Of course, I hadn’t got her into anything.  She’d called it all up herself, and after three months of diligent intention and attention, had manifested the most incredible match imaginable.  She found ‘Him’! This is a person with so much sorted, so much going for her.  Yet, she has only just opened a door to a whole new rich and vulnerable dimension of herself by finally opening to deep relationship.

This is something I can relate to.  Before meeting Pat, I’d spent the best part of twenty years living semi-monastically in a Buddhist community.  Our romantic relationships were conducted peripherally, and we were encouraged to live and work independently in order to dedicate ourselves to our spiritual practice.  It was a perspective that eventually led me to resign my ordination.

Deep down I knew that my greatest spiritual growth opportunity was destined to come from entering deeply into a loving partnership with a man.  And I was right.  What was in store for me upon meeting Pat was nothing short of a spiritual renaissance.   It also prompted the discovery of my true vocation in Thrivecraft, and has been the most fruitful and creative time of my life.

 You Know Best

You know best.  You do!  It was only once I started learning from this wonderful, maverick, not-what-you-expect-from-a-spiritual guy, Holy Cornishman that I started to really take this in for myself that I know best.  That and the fact that I am ‘good enough’ just the way I am!

The magical truth is that, ultimately, each of us knows what is best for ourselves.  But more often than not, we can’t hear our own inner voice speak.  Or, we can’t tell whether to trust it even if it is clear what it is saying.

Say, for example, you are considering quitting your job to pursue something more satisfying.  How do you know for sure that you’d be doing the right thing?  One part of you says, “I need the money, I can’t risk it”.   Another part says, “I’m unhappy and feel like I’m throwing my life away”.  Then another (a voice in your head that sounds rather like your mum’s) says, “Better the devil you know…”

How do you sift through all the inner arguments and find best way forward?  How do you know for sure?  How do we KNOW our hunches are right, that you are making the right decisions and choices in life?  Which inner voice is the wise one?  This is the number one issue people ask me about.  And so, this book includes some guidelines on how to find and trust your own reliable source of inner wisdom.

But Am I Getting It Right?

 Maybe you have been inspired by spiritual growth, self help and personal development for some time, perhaps you are even a coach, counsellor, teacher or caring professional yourself.  You have a pile of books that have guided you to meet the right partner, practice meditation and attract abundance.  You have attended workshops, watched videos, taken online courses and gained qualifications.  You have put some amazing things into place in your life and connected with some lovely like minded people along the way.

 And it has been great.  Fantastic stuff – life is so much better for it.  However, there is still a nagging feeling that you could do better, that you are not good enough or doing it right.  Maybe you are not practicing your meditation often enough, or earning enough money from your coaching practice, or managing to stick to those healthy foods that you KNOW do you so much good.  And even though you are well versed in the principle that love triumphs fear – and so should know better!   You are still not free of those low-level, creeping doubts, worries and fears.

Believe me, you are not alone.  I know thousands of people just like you who share this paradox – terrific, inspiring, positive people who are doing fantastic things in their professional and personal lives, but still give themselves a hard time, myself included occasionally!   I was pondering this phenomenon when I suddenly got it.  We believe that we are supposed to learn lessons and continually ‘improve’ ourselves, when actually, we don’t need to work at change a thing.  Not really, at least, not with that attitude.  It is far more important that we realise that we are already perfect, just the way we are.

Perfect Just the Way You Are

But aren’t we supposed to be ridding ourselves of ego, accepting our inner child and forgiving those who have wronged us?  Our books and teachings are full of instructions on the art of waking up, healing wounds, letting go and moving on.  And the whole coaching model is about getting from where you are now to where you want to be.

However, if we look deeply into the spiritual essence of any edict that really works, you will see there is only one true starting point – LOVE YOURSELF JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.  It is in accepting yourself just the way you are, first and foremost, that real and lasting positive change is catalysed.  That is the transformational power of love.  Changeless change, or at least, effortless, graceful, natural change.

 


Get Ready for Love Now

Get Ready for Love Now

one-to-one intensive coaching programme

over 3 months (flexible)

with Maggie Kay

 rumi set your life on fire

          *        Let go of the past and open to love again

          *        Clarify exactly what you want in relationship

          *        Power up self confidence, self worth and self belief

          *        Activate your love-enabling action plan

          *        Master law-of-attraction manifestation techniques

          *        Find and magnetise the partner of your dreams

 

Determined to make a quantum leap

in your love life once and for all?

Great!

Maggie’s brand new one-to-one love coaching programme

is for those who have had enough and

are willing, committed and ready to take action NOW!

                       ******************************************************

Applications open now

To arrange your free discovery session with Maggie Kay

and explore whether this powerful programme is for you

email:

maggie@maggiekaywisdom.com

****************************************************

Maggie’s True Love Story

Maggie met and married the man of her dreams – her true love soul mate who meets her on all levels – after 20 years of over-compromising in relationships.

Read her inspiring true love story here – Meeting My Match

Since 2004, Maggie has been coaching others to get ready for love and find their ideal partner, both in one-to-one coaching programmes and at her popular Get Ready for Love weekend workshops.

Get Ready for Love success stories:

The very day 42 year old Carrie wrote in her journal that she was now ready for love again, Steve literally knocked on her front door.  They are now happily living together.

Philippa, age 53,  met her partner Charlie after more than 20 years of being a single mum focused on her career.  He was the first candidate she came across on a dating website (an action Philippa had decided to take whilst following the programme) but that was enough.  They quickly recognised they’d met someone special and are enjoying life together.

29 year old Jennifer met her boyfriend Derek by chance in a crystal shop on Valentine’s day.  Although they didn’t know each other before, unbeknownst to them they had something in common – they were both having Get Ready for Love coaching with Maggie Kay!

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To arrange your free discovery session with Maggie Kay

and explore whether this programme is right for you

email:

maggie@maggiekaywisdom.com

***************************************************

Look out for Maggie’s forthcoming new book!

Diving for Pearls: A Wise Woman’s Guide to Finding Love

INTRODUCTION – INNER TREASURE

This book is part true love story and part how-to guide.  In these pages, I take you with me on the spiritual adventure of my life and share how I eventually found what I was longing for – deep trust in my own inner wisdom and a soul mate life partner that can meet me on all levels.  Along with the story, I share the insights and learning that lit the way for me with the hope that this will also help illuminate your path of love and wisdom.

My quest for wisdom began when I was a child, trying to figure out if church had the answers to life’s big questions.  Continuing by studying psychology at university, I was profoundly affected by the death of my father and discovered the practice of meditation.  For nearly two decades thereafter, I trained for and became an ordained Buddhist.

But wisdom wasn’t enough.   Although denying it for many years, deep down I also ached to be properly partnered by a soul mate – a true love that shared every aspect of my life.   A series of experiences finally brought me to fulfill that destiny and the ensuing spiritual renaissance resulted in the resigning of my ordination and founding Thrivecraft – a universal path of love and wisdom for all.

Echoing my own journey, the first half of Pearls is about inner wisdom.   Along with this part of my story, I share tips and teachings on meditation, mindfulness and intuition so that you too can tune into to your natural inner wisdom.  The second half focuses on finding true love and includes my ‘Get Ready For Love’ step-by-step guide.  I also describe how inner wisdom continues to serve a deepening relationship once you’ve met a partner (or, indeed, shows you when it’s time to move on).

It is my dear wish that you will be inspired by my story and tips, transported by a special ‘Ask Your Inner Wisdom’ meditation I have created and re-capture your natural entitlement to be completely guided and supported in all that you do.  Go ahead and find the kind of love and wisdom that you so desire and so deserve.  Dive for your pearls – they are right here and they are all yours…

Go to Diving for Pearls Facebook page here – Diving for Pearls fb page

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To register your interest in Maggie’s new book,

Diving for Pearls:  A Wise Woman’s Guide to Finding Love

email:

maggie@maggiekaywisdom.com

***************************************************


It’s All About Love

Leap year 29th February is traditionally the day when women propose marriage.

And so what a great day to let you know about my forthcoming book

Diving for Pearls: The Wise Woman’s Guide to Finding Love

which I am sending off to a publisher this very day!

love woman

Diving for Pearls is part true love story and part how-to guide.  I take you with me on the spiritual adventure of my life and share how I eventually found what I was longing for – deep trust in my own inner wisdom and a soul mate life partner that can meet me on all levels.  Along with the story, I share the insights and learning that lit the way for me with the hope that this will also help illuminate your path of love and wisdom.

My quest for wisdom began when I was a child, trying to figure out if church had the answers to life’s big questions.  Continuing by studying psychology at university, I was profoundly affected by the death of my father and discovered the practice of meditation.  For nearly two decades thereafter, I trained for and became an ordained Buddhist.

But wisdom wasn’t enough.   Although denying it for many years, deep down I also ached to be properly partnered by a soul mate – a true love that shared every aspect of my life.   A series of experiences finally brought me to fulfill that destiny and the ensuing spiritual renaissance resulted in the resigning of my ordination and founding Thrivecraft – a universal path of love and wisdom for all.

Echoing my own journey, the first half of Pearls is about inner wisdom.   Along with this part of my story, I share tips and teachings on meditation, mindfulness and intuition so that you too can tune into to your natural inner wisdom.  The second half focuses on finding true love and includes my ‘Get Ready For Love’ step-by-step guide.  I also describe how inner wisdom continues to serve a deepening relationship once you’ve met a partner (or, indeed, shows you when it’s time to move on).

It is my dear wish that you will be inspired by my story and tips, transported by a special ‘Ask Your Inner Wisdom’ meditation I have created and re-capture your natural entitlement to be completely guided and supported in all that you do.  Go ahead and find the kind of love and wisdom that you so desire and so deserve.  Dive for your pearls – they are right here and they are all yours…

***

Want to order a copy of Diving for Pearls?

Register your interest by emailing me at

maggie@maggiekaywisdom.com

I’ll put you on the pre-order list and keep you up to date with developments.

You’ll be the first to know what’s going on…

You can visit my Diving for Pearls Facebook page here

Diving for Pearls fb page

***

Thank you to my mentor Julia

Some of you may remember that in 2014 I won a scholarship with conscious writing mentor and Hay House author, Julia McCutchen,  www.juliamccutchen.com.  I am delighted that the result of Julia’s fabulous mentoring is now well on its way to publication.

This June, I am again supporting Julia on her Conscious Writing retreat which is held in Glastonbury, UK.  As well as being hugely enjoyable, Julia’s holistic approach can create surprising breakthroughs. Here I am giving my video testimonial – Maggie’s retreat testimonial.

rumi set your life on fire

New – Get Ready for Love – Coaching Programme

My other big news is that I am creating a brand new intensive coaching programme

Get Ready for Love

If now is your time to let go of the past, develop unshakable self belief and prepare yourself for the BEST relationship of your life – I am standing by with my tried and tested methods and powerful magic to launch you on your way.

Get ready for, find and attract your ideal love match – fast!

More details coming soon…

Drop me an email if you’d like to know more at

maggie@maggiekaywisdom.com

 

 

 


Inner Wisdom on Amit Kainth TV Show

Hot off the press – my episode as the guest on the Amit Kainth TV Show!

Amit is asking me about inner wisdom – Does everyone have inner wisdom?  How do we tell inner wisdom from other, less helpful, inner voices?  How do we access inner wisdom?  And I guide a short experience of consulting our inner wisdom.

Here is the full recording of the show which was aired on Sky TV channel Star Plus in July.


The art of manifestation

Hot off the press from our Thrivecraft – Wake Up Your Wisdom – workshop last weekend,  here is a video extract teaching the deep principles at work when we apply the Law of  Attraction to manifest the things we want in our life.

Srimati explains manifestation formula  – 100% INTENTION + 100% SURRENDER = MANIFESTATION.

And the principle of HAVINGNESS, which is neither ‘can’t have’ nor ‘must have’.

have’.


Wake Up Your Wisdom

July Thrivecraft Workshop

Wake Up Your Wisdom:

Intuition, Manifestation and Channeling

With Srimati

Near Totnes, Devon, UK

Sat 13 / Sun 14 July 2013

Intuition

Develop red-hot INTUITION you can trust

Open the floodgates to CREATIVE ideas

Learn how to make the RIGHT decisions

Apply the SECRETS of mind-to-mind attraction

Activate your very own life-long inner GUIDANCE

During this relaxed workshop you can give your hard-working thinking mind a rest!  Instead, you will learn how to easily tap into your own deep wisdom to find brilliant answers and solutions at every turn.  But don’t be deceived by the retreat-like experience of the day – this stuff is powerful!

With a mixture of interactive practical exercises, talks and guided contemplations, you will be shown how to hone your hunches into reliable intuition you can depend on.  You will learn how to make the secret law of attraction work for you and practice a powerful ‘make it happen’ technique that manifests your hopes into reality.

There will be opportunities to ask questions and give your comments along the way.  And there will be plenty of time to connect with other participants – typically a calibre group of open minded professionals, creatives, innovators and conscious entrepreneurs.

You will leave feeling equipped to employ a whole new dimension of yourself – your own inner wisdom – in your life, love, work and business.  With the constant wise support of your inner guidance and intuition, things will never be the quite the same.  Just see what happens next!

At Glazebrook Country House Hotel

Near Totnes, Devon, UK

Click here for Glazebrook Country House Hotel website

 £149

 includes lunches and refreshments

For more info and to book, click orange button below:

Eventbrite - Wake Up Your Wisdom: Intuition, Manifestation and Channeling

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Art of Love Relationship Workshop

The Art of Love

Creating & Deepening Fulfilling Relationships

For singles, couples and all

 

Thrivecraft Weekend Workshop

with Srimati

Near Totnes, Devon, UK

  Sat 15 / Sun 16 June 2013

blue buddha face

An inspiring, powerful and warm-hearted workshop to

   * Get ready for and manifest your ideal new relationship

   * Re-invigorate and deepen connection with your partner

   * Let go of the past and deal with relationship issues

   * Communicate better with family, friends and colleagues

   * Boost confidence, self worth, fulfillment and happiness

   * Share wisdom and support with other friendly Thrivecrafters

……………………………………………………………….

Understand.  Trust.  Enjoy.

Find clarity.  Be inspired.  Create your dreams.

………………………………………………………………………………………………..

At Glazebrook Country House Hotel

Near Totnes, Devon, UK

Click here for Glazebrook Country House Hotel website

 £149

 includes lunches and refreshments

For more info and to book, click orange button below:

Eventbrite - The Art of Love: Create & Deepen Fulfilling Relationships


Let Yourself LOVE

Back in 1998, I was a young mum and an ordained Buddhist living and working in a exciting, modern spiritual community in London.

‘Not getting attached’ is a big teaching in Buddhism and it took me a while to really understand what this means, especially as a new parent  – and that

IT IS OKAY TO REALLY LET YOURSELF LOVE!

The following is an article I wrote about these exploration for Dharma Life Magazine.  And at the end of the article, a short video I recorded in 2009 with Inspired Entrepreneur, Nick Williams, on the same topic…

An All Embracing Urge

Published in Dharma Life Magazine – Winter 1998, written by Maggie Kay (Srimati)

Motherhood has opened up a new emotional realm for Srimati. But how to love wholeheartedly and continually let go is the ground of her daily practice.

Against the odds and ahead of hard evidence, I instinctively knew I was pregnant. As I lay in the bath there was something magical in the air. I found myself, hand on belly, making a heartfelt pledge in a tender whisper: “If you’re there, you’re welcome and I’ll do my best for you.” This was the beginning of the greatest love of my life. One week into my relationship with this unknown, unexpected being, I was howling with an ancient grief as I bled, and feared it was over. The pain of that love had also made itself felt.

But all was well, and that feeling of love and pain gathered substance during the months of pregnancy. My body surrendered more and more to its task, and love for my unborn became increasingly tangible with the growth of the life in my belly. So did the fears. Dreams of the coming birth were mostly beautiful, but my heart was full of the fragility of human life. I felt I would do anything to protect this life inside me, and yet there was so little I could do to ensure its wellbeing. That was ultimately out of my hands. Even before my child was born, I was learning that maternal love means letting go.

I spent an unforgettable night bringing my son into the world. In the calm and comfortable aftermath of that struggle, I lay stung awake by wonder, gazing at him. The blacks of his eyes shone in the dark, peacefully apprehending his new world as he lay between us, his parents, the very flesh that had created him. A few days earlier I’d dreamt I was begging a Nazi soldier not to shoot me, to give me one more week so I could see the face of my unborn child. Becoming a mother has shown me that the death of a child is the cruelest loss imaginable.

As a practicing Buddhist, (In 2002 I resigned my ordination to embrace all forms of spirituality and no longer consider myself to be ‘just’ a Buddhist) such strong feelings have raised many questions for me. What gives rise to such powerful and self-sacrificing maternal love? To what extent does this love help or hinder us in living a spiritual life?

Dharma Life Cover

Some Buddhists claim parenthood is unhelpful from a spiritual point of view, partly because it opens you up to such incredible attachment. It is generally true that the more emotionally involved you are with someone, the more you are liable to be caught in attachment. At worst this can mean limiting, insecure ways of relating, and unhealthy dependence. Attachment is difficult to recognize and can be easily rationalized as something less selfish. For a Buddhist, however, identifying and uprooting this clinging is the very heart of practice and for a Buddhist parent it is no different.

Nevertheless certain Buddhist traditions take the image of maternal love as a metaphor to describe metta, universal loving-kindness:

As a mother watches o’er her child, Her only child, so long as she doth breathe, So let one practice unto all that live An all-embracing mind.

Parenting, especially early parenting, can seem incomparably unselfish — but is it really? What enables such incredible resources to be unstintingly roused in the service of another human being? Perhaps it is because there is cellular identity with the child, especially in the mother’s case: My child is me. There is quite a leap between this and the empathetic identification of a Bodhisattva, the embodiment of compassion, with all living beings; but it is a powerful analogy.

I have come to value the power and vitality of maternal love and motherhood has given me a depth of experience that enriches my spiritual life. I have contacted a huge reservoir of passionate love for my son such as I have never experienced before. Most parents speak of this kind of love for their children. I prefer to see parental love as a spiritual opportunity. The answer is not to back away from the strength of that love, but to dwell deeply in it; to penetrate its nature and the nature of that which you love.

As a parent you have almost no choice but to love your child passionately, and this demands that you find the same intensity of wisdom. The more your heart is open, the more you can allow any wise reflections to touch you and let them transform you.

The story of Kisa Gotami is probably my favorite from the Buddha’s life. Kisa Gotami comes to the Buddha cradling her dead child. She is distraught, even a little crazed, and cannot accept that her child is dead. She has heard the Buddha is a great man, a great healer, and begs him to provide medicine for her ‘sick’ child. The Buddha replies that he will help her. She must find a mustard seed as medicine, but there is one condition: it must come from a household that has not known death.

Kisa Gotami sets out on her quest, knocking at doors. Those who greet her are happy to give her a mustard seed, but shake their heads when they hear of the condition. The living are few, but the dead are many. Kisa Gotami cannot find a house in which no one has died, and gradually a new perspective dawns. She sees the universality of death and this allows her to acknowledge what has happened. She buries her child, returns to the Buddha, and commits herself to the spiritual life.

Kisa Gotami “wakes up” during her quest. She sees that death and loss are universal, so she can finally grieve and let go of her child. This is a deeper engagement with life and death that sees it in a spiritual perspective. In accepting the death of her child, Kisa Gotami gains insight into the nature of human life. Obviously this is challenging ground. Kisa Gotami had the Buddha’s help. But it is not that she stopped loving, just that her love was placed in a much vaster context.

Tibetan Buddhist texts dwell on the mother-child relationship in many ways to evoke the intensity of love that human beings are capable of. The difficulty lies in transforming exclusive love into one that includes all beings. The prospect of loving every being like one’s only child is awesome, but life offers glimpses of such an experience. For example, when one grieves the death of a loved one, the combination of feelings arising from a personal loss, with an acknowledgment of the universality of death, can open up an intense love for all humanity.

Compassion comes with realizing that all beings will one day share this moment in their own way. Similarly, dying people sometimes reach a serenity where they accept impending death and are imbued with a sublime love for their family and for life itself — as if only this fullness of love is important, more important and powerful than death itself. Over the years I have thought a great deal about the nature of human love, ordinary human affection and intimacy with all its imperfections. It is this middle ground between the lofty climes of metta and the grip of unconscious attachment that I am interested in — that is where many of us stand for much of our lives.

Srimati with Jamie

When I first became involved in Buddhism I latched on to the notion of non-attachment because I was hurt by loss and death. I was 19 and didn’t know myself well. Although fairly bright and positive on the surface, I was unconsciously on the run from painful experiences. My adolescence had ended abruptly with my father’s illness and death, and I had witnessed the agony my mother suffered in losing him. I felt mature beyond my years, and my world of teenage rebellion became meaningless.

So, too, did my relationship with my first love, who had recently held such passion and promise for me. I had thought he was my soul-mate, the man I’d spend my life with. But my need for him melted away and I felt strangely alone. Suddenly, I found myself telling him it was over and telling my mother that I was leaving home.

Within a few months, my inner searching brought me to the Glasgow Buddhist Center, and I instantly recognized I had found the means to understand life and death that had been invisibly beckoning ever since I can remember. Although my response to the Dharma was largely sincere, I misconstrued some of what I learnt. While I rejoiced in my fortune at having come across the Buddhist path so young and unencumbered, I did not realized how much emotional backlog I had to deal with. It was during this initial phase that I developed a sort of defended pseudo-independence and fooled myself that I was free of attachments.

Fortunately meditation and spiritual friendship sorted me out. I threw myself into the spiritual life, and moved to the London Buddhist Center where I could participate in more intensive situations for practice, and be around more experienced Buddhists. Meditating every day, living in community with other Buddhists and working in a Buddhist Right Livelihood business was like being in a hall of mirrors. Everywhere I looked, my being was reflected back. There was no escape. So the pain of what I had been running from caught up with me. It was a journey into the underworld and I came more deeply into relationship with the love and pain that had been stirred by these losses.

By fully grieving, in opening up my heart to what had happened, the psuedo-independence crumbled. I was heartbroken, and from that broken heart a bigger heart was released. I began to see that non-attachment was not about holding back, being self-contained and trying to limit the inevitable emotional damage that comes through being in relationship with people. Ironically, I’ve found that non-attachment is about loving deeply, letting my love flow, admitting how much friends, family and partner matter. It involves being willing to love them, give myself to them, even though we will one day be parted. There’s nothing we can do to stop death, to end separation. Non-attachment means being prepared to take the pain of losing loved ones because the sheer experience of love is worth it.

My attitude to love began to change as I acknowledged the truth of impermanence, and the inevitability of the suffering implicit in loving. From feeling I made myself vulnerable by loving, I began to experience a greater robustness in my love. What did I really have to lose? I started to see love as giving rather than losing myself. Really to love I must be prepared to give everything and let go of everything. I must learn to release my love, love for its own sake, with no desire for a secure pay-off.

More than a decade later, with a partner and a four-year-old son, those ponderings have a new arena. The issues of attachment are different. I cannot choose whether or not to love my son, whether it is ‘safe’ to invest emotional energy in him. It is absolutely what I must and will do. I am only beginning the journey of loving as a mother, and every time I think I have understood what is involved, it changes.

And yet I sense that the lessons of this decade are the same. Only insight into to my son’s true nature, indeed into human nature in general, can free me from attachment. Every so often a tragic news story rips through the day-to-day illusion that this love is forever, never to be disturbed by accident, illness, separation.

I do not want to have to face what Kisa Gotami experienced in order to wake up to the human situation, but I do want to wake up. I want to feel unbounded love that is passionate, full and wise. Living with the tension of loving fully and letting go is not easy: it involves simultaneously holding two apparent opposites.

But hopefully the tension will allow a larger perspective to emerge. In the meantime I feel it is the only option. Love is not about binding another or oneself to a status quo because of insecurity. That is essentially an impossible task: things change, like it or not. It means taking a stand on a deeper, spiritual knowledge. To love fully is to open oneself to the truth of the human condition.

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Talking with Inspired Entrepreneur, Nick Williams, about love and non-attachment – video interview  2009.  Click below:


True Love

It’s the eve of Valentine’s Day and I’m thinking about LOVE…

Love has to be my favourite topic and I have written articles, scoped out books, given talks, recorded videos, led workshops and guided meditations on love many, many times.

So how do you find your ideal partner?

It took me a while to find the true love relationship I always wanted.  I was 38 and Pat was 50 before we met and we’d both had our fair share of ups and downs in relationship before finding each other.  

Here’s my article from Connect Magazine – Meeting My Match – about how I finally prepared myself for and attracted a really great life partner:

http://srimati.com/2010/06/22/meeting-my-match-my-revealing-true-love-story/

Pat and I at our wedding in 2003 – making offerings to the river

It wasn’t long before I was inspired to run Get Ready for Love workshops as part of my coaching practice.  During the course of a weekend, participants dived into the deep and delightful process of preparing themselves for a superb relationship.

This article by the Daily Express, shares some of my top tips on getting ready for love:

http://www.thrivecraft.co.uk/lovecoaching/lovearticles/ready4love/ready4love.html

In this video, I remind us of the golden rules that enable us to attract what we really want into our lives – including a great partner:

 

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone.  Please do share your own true love stories with us here in the comments box.  It’s a wonderful thing to share…


TV Dragon Rachel Elnaugh Mentors Srimati – The Inner Wisdom Coach

I’ve just returned from London where I was attending my friend Rachel Elnaugh’s live mentoring filming event – Business Magic.

As an award winning entrepreneur (for her multi-million first business, Red Letter Days); former Dragon from BBC TV Dragons’ Den; and author of Business Nightmares and forthcoming Business Magic, Rachel is a formidable business mentor.

From the autumn, however, Rachel is winding up her mentoring programme to make way for an exciting new project – see ‘message from Rachel’ on her website www.rachelelnaugh.com   Before she does this, she wanted to capture some business mentoring on film in order to create a DVD programme.

And so, at the atmospheric Magic Circle (and on the night of a full moon and lunar eclipse!) we all gathered to hear Rachel reveal her business magic live on stage.

Fantastic!  So inspiring!

Coming home, I remembered that I was fortunate to have some live mentoring from Rachel myself last year.  And that we filmed it!  And that I’ve not shared it with you yet!

So here it is – Rachel digging in to my inner story to help me define my name, brand and the title of a book I was writing.

 


My Wonderful Husband, The Holy Cornishman

My finger was poised above the ‘post’ button when I stopped and decided to sleep on it.  I’d just written my latest blog – an appreciation of my wonderful husband, Pat, the Holy Cornishman – but wanted to look it over again in the morning.  The topic had come about because I’ve been curious for a while – who ARE the partners in the shadows of all these lime-lit colleagues I know so well?  As well as this, I’d been thinking it was high time I celebrated the fantastic man who shares my life.

Coincidentally, fellow coach Cathy Dean (the Colourful Coach) was tweeting about how supportive her husband was.  And so, we cooked up a plan to write concurrent blogs honouring our partners.  Cathy’s is here, but mine didn’t make it at the time…  http://colourfulcoach.wordpress.com/2010/10/01/my-lovely-husband-an-appreciation/

Pat and I had been in Cornwall for a week at our cliff top caravan overlooking the atlantic.  We were due to stay for another few days, however, nature intervened – the toothache I’d had for a couple of days showed no sign of waning.  Time to get home to Devon and visit the dentist!  Only today, two weeks later, have I emerged from a dark tunnel of pain and treatment – the likes of which I rarely suffer – and am blinking in the light, wondering what it’s like out here in the big world.

Reading back over my unposted blog, it seems to belong to another lifetime!  Its amazing how an intense experience (like being ill) can bend your perception of time.  However, it still merits being published, especially since Pat has been such a total star at looking after me while I’ve not been well.  So here it is, updated and revived for today.

Thinking about this topic has slowed up my writing.  It made me want to get my nose out of my work for a change and enjoy some time with my lovely husband!  And so Pat and I had some great little trips out while we were based in Cornwall – enjoying the annual Boscastle Festival, the amazing countryside and more than one Cornish pasty!

He is right here with me every day – inside this intimate bubble I call ‘my life’ – sharing the same duvet, drinking tea from the same kettle, wiping his feet on the same door mat.  Pat and I spend huge amounts of time together (living and working together 24/7 as we mostly do), however, sometimes I forget to appreciate what an incredible partnership we enjoy, let alone what a miracle of creation he is in his own right!

There’s a psychological phenomenon called habituation.  What it describes is the tendency to stop noticing what is familiar to you.  Usual, everyday things become part of our background wallpaper and are no longer so visible.  This applies to our relationships too.  And so, like all of us, its easy for me to let my attention drift to more demanding things and take my beloved husband for granted.

I’m also a bit astrologically challenged when it comes to intimate relationships.  For those of you in the know, I have five major planets ( yes five!) in Aquarius.  An Aquarian trait is to so busy out there ‘saving the world’ that you can seem cool and aloof to your nearest and dearest.  I generally experience myself as a warm, loving person, but I can relate to this tendency to overlook those closest to me whilst my attention is out there on the far horizon.

But every now and then I remember what a stunning man I have in my life.  You’d think I would never forget because it took me long enough to find him!  This treasure of a relationship came at the end of a long and ardous journey in the quest to find the right partner.  Our amazing ‘finding true love’ experience inspired a whole strand of work and it wasn’t long before I was running Get Ready for Love workshops to help other people attract their ideal mate.

The other night, I remembered.  Pat and I had been at our Cornwall caravan for a few days.  We were cuddled up watching a romantic TV programme with a bottle of wine and I suddenly found myself moved to the core.  Okay, I admit it, I’m one of those people who gets soppy after a couple of glasses of wine.  I go all soft and heart-melty and amorous – no wonder he’s so pleased when I share a bottle of wine with him!

That night, Pat made a throw away comment about one of the TV characters being just like him.  Suddenly, I piped up with emphatic passion “But you are so much warmer – a firey Cornishman with attitude!”  And as I spoke those words I was sucked away to a vantage point where I could stand back really SEE him afresh – his strength of character, his bright mind, his quirky humour – and all the reasons why I love him so much.

BANG! a massive rush of emotion brought me to tears and I delivered a long, gushing love speech to him.  Pat is one of those amazing, demonstrative men who oten tells me how much he loves me and is liberal with his hugs and compliments.  And although I feel the same about him, I am more remiss in my expressions of affection.  It takes a slug of wine and a good TV romance to wake me out of my complacency!

As I burbled uncontrollably that night, I love everything about him – the way he looks, the way he talks and the way he carries himself – just everything!  One of my favourites is that he’s a blokey bloke – energetic and charismatic – yet is completely at home with his feminine side.  He has all the other guys at the bar roaring with laughter and at the same time he’s deeply intuitive and more than a little psychic (which can be a bit unnerving at times, but jolly useful on the whole!)

Pat’s 6th sense is quick and penetrating.  For example he always spots a dubious motive powering along a fool-hardy decision.  It means I don’t get away with fooling myself about anything and I can kick up about that (a foolish ego trip does not like to be found out!) but I’m always grateful in the end.  He has got used to making waves with his irrepressible truth detector.  He sometimes calls it a curse, but I think it’s an astounding gift.

On the practical level, there’s something astonishing about how compatible we are.  We ALWAYS like the same things, be it furnishings, music, books, countries, houses, clothes, cars, animals, you name it.  Many’s the time we’ve both wondered towards each other in a shop, excitedly carrying the same item to show the ther.  And we share a Zen-minimalist-tidyness (just try coming round and dumping your coat somewhere other than the cloakroom!) which makes living in a small space like a caravan easy for us.   There’s a real grace and ease between us – like a wordless, flowing, ballet dance.

But the compatibility doesn’t stop there.  We MEET each other on every level – intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, physically – something I’ve never experienced in one partner package before.  Sometimes I say to Pat that I’ve been in love with him my whole life.  One of the keenest things I sensed when we met was that we’d been together in previous lives.  It’s as though there’s always been a Pat shaped gap in my life until we found each other again in 2002.  If you’ve not read it already, here’s a magazine article telling the story of how we met…

 Meeting My Match  – http://wp.me/ps0N4-9U

However, if I had to pick one thing about Pat that sums up why he is so fantastic to be with it would be this – his PRESENCE.  What I mean is that he is switched on, awake, conscious, aware, paying attention.  Never pre-occupied with other things (like me!) he is present in every moment – hearing what I say, sensing what I feel, observing what needs to happen next.

He is a man of body and soul as well as heart and mind , alive to his total experience all the time.  When I talk to him he gives me his fullest, deepest, loving attention.  When he touches me, he touches me with with his whole energetic being, not just his body.  Believe me, I know how rare this is!  The man is a phenomenon!

Of course we’ve had our intense run-ins over the years (we are quite a match in the adamant department too!), but what is fantastic about us is our mutual commitment to get to the bottom of what’s gone off kilter, what it is our conflict is trying to show us.  We accept the principle of taking responsibility for ourself and not blaming the other, even if we can’t always practice it in the heat of the moment.  Eventually we get there, even if it takes a day or two.  I always say if there’s the ability and willingness to communicate, most relationship problems can be overcome.

A Course in Miracles  http://www.amazon.co.uk/Course-Miracles-Foundation-Inner-Peace/dp/1883360269/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1287440966&sr=1-1  is a wonderful spiritual workbook that makes an emphatic point about relationships – our partner (or any other person we ever encounter, for that matter) is ALWAYS being a mirror, showing us something about US that we need to see and understand.  It is pointless to blame the other person for making us happy or unhappy.  We can only look to ourselves – to our own responses to how our partner is behaving – and learn from that.  We should never seek to change another.  Happiness can only come from within.

One of my favourite books about relationship is Stephen and Ondrea Levine’s Embracing the Beloved: Relationship as a Path of Awakening.  http://www.amazon.co.uk/Embracing-Beloved-Relationship-Path-Awakening/dp/0717134334/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1287440842&sr=1-2  It’s a beautiful, poetic book that has inspired my desire for meaningful relationship with a life partner for many years.

 And then there’s David Deida’s, Finding God Through Sex http://www.amazon.co.uk/Finding-God-Through-Sex-Awakening/dp/1591792738/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1287440649&sr=1-1#noop – a powerful, raw, yet sensitive treatment of what our physical love making is truly all about.  Only when I met Pat did I begin to experience and practice what these authors write about so eloquently.

So, perhaps that’s a good note to wind up on.  Hmm, but you might be curious to see the man himself?  Well, you can.  Here’s he is, talking on video in his Love of Spiritual Man series.  In this clip he’s talking about what makes our relationship special.   After all, he should know!