Thrivecraft ™ is a pragmatic abundance method that unlocks inner genius by blending deep intention with skillful action

holistic

Five Steps to Set Your Life Free

For many of us the autumn is a time of fresh starts – time to start a course, get stuck in and create something new, or make a change in our lives.  So the dreams and ideas are there, but are we able to see them through?  What about when we come up against obstacles or lose our motivation?  It is challenging doing it all by ourselves, however, getting the right support can make all the difference between creating a dream and making it a reality.

That’s why at Thrivecraft we have our Set Your Life Free workshop in October.  During the weekend (at our stunning countryside retreat, the Thrivecraft Home Hub, near Saltash in Cornwall), we take a complete life coaching journey to set in motion our dreams and plans supported by tried and tested know-how and inspiration.

front-gardenHere is my quick guide to setting your life free:-

  1. REVIEW

Review your current situation thoroughly.  Identify where you are content and fulfilled and where you need and want to make changes, including scoring each area of your life – work, money, relationships etc – on a scale of 1 to 10 (where 10 is excellent).

  1. REVISION

Allow yourself to fantasize about a life that is like a dream come true in every respect and describe it in writing.  Don’t worry about whether it is possible, if you deserve it or how to make it happen.  For now, imagine that there is a magic wand that can create that ideal life instantly.   Step inside your ideal life and describe it in entirely positive terms and as though it is happening now (in present tense language).

  1. RELEASE

Often when we allow ourselves to own and declare what we truly desire, our fears and doubts come to the surface.  These doubting inner voices are the very things that keep us small and safe and living life in our comfort zone, even if we are not happy with it.  One way of helping to release these ‘limiting beliefs’ is by writing out positive affirmations and repeating them out loud every day.  For example, if we cannot believe that we will ever meet our ideal partner, write out “I am delighted to have met my ideal partner so quickly and easily.”

  1. RE-COMMIT

Now that we have created our ideal life vision and released some of our inner resistance about moving towards it, we create a practical plan and take action.  Identify one or two things from your ideal life that you would like to make a start with.  Taking them one goal at a time, be as clear as possible about what you would like to achieve and when you would like to achieve it by.  Think of what you can do to support your progress and what help you might need along the way.  Write out the steps you will take and begin to take action, one small step at a time.  It helps a great deal if you can share your plans with an accountability partner – a friend or coach that you report to regularly on your progress.

  1. RE-EMPOWER

Step five is about adding a sprinkle of magic!  At Thrivecraft we specialise in coaching spiritual and metaphysical intelligence – powerful principles and practices that inspire us and allow us to make rapid progress.  Equipped with these tools, we take quantum leaps and create miraculous manifestations with ease.  One of the practices we teach is the Ah Om manifestation meditation.

You can download instructions for the Ah Om meditation and the other life coaching exercises mentioned above at Maggie Kay Wisdom Free Resources

Better still, come along to a Thrivecraft workshop to boost your Set Your Life Free journey, or dive in to a personal coaching programme or retreat with Maggie for exclusive one-to-one attention.  There is also the opportunity to train with Maggie to become an accredited Thrivecraft Coach or Meditation Teacher including business coaching to set up your professional practice and make a great living.

maggie-5

Maggie Kay is an inspirational coach, writer and founder of Thrivecraft Coaching.  Formerly an ordained Buddhist, she specialises in spiritual intelligence for life, love and business.  Maggie trains accredited life coaches and meditation teachers and runs retreats, workshops and programmes from her countryside home near Saltash in Cornwall where she lives with her soul mate husband, Pat.  Her new book – Diving for Pearls: The Wise Woman’s Guide to Finding Love – is being published in spring 2017.


Wake Up Your Wisdom

July Thrivecraft Workshop

Wake Up Your Wisdom:

Intuition, Manifestation and Channeling

With Srimati

Near Totnes, Devon, UK

Sat 13 / Sun 14 July 2013

Intuition

Develop red-hot INTUITION you can trust

Open the floodgates to CREATIVE ideas

Learn how to make the RIGHT decisions

Apply the SECRETS of mind-to-mind attraction

Activate your very own life-long inner GUIDANCE

During this relaxed workshop you can give your hard-working thinking mind a rest!  Instead, you will learn how to easily tap into your own deep wisdom to find brilliant answers and solutions at every turn.  But don’t be deceived by the retreat-like experience of the day – this stuff is powerful!

With a mixture of interactive practical exercises, talks and guided contemplations, you will be shown how to hone your hunches into reliable intuition you can depend on.  You will learn how to make the secret law of attraction work for you and practice a powerful ‘make it happen’ technique that manifests your hopes into reality.

There will be opportunities to ask questions and give your comments along the way.  And there will be plenty of time to connect with other participants – typically a calibre group of open minded professionals, creatives, innovators and conscious entrepreneurs.

You will leave feeling equipped to employ a whole new dimension of yourself – your own inner wisdom – in your life, love, work and business.  With the constant wise support of your inner guidance and intuition, things will never be the quite the same.  Just see what happens next!

At Glazebrook Country House Hotel

Near Totnes, Devon, UK

Click here for Glazebrook Country House Hotel website

 £149

 includes lunches and refreshments

For more info and to book, click orange button below:

Eventbrite - Wake Up Your Wisdom: Intuition, Manifestation and Channeling

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Art of Love Relationship Workshop

The Art of Love

Creating & Deepening Fulfilling Relationships

For singles, couples and all

 

Thrivecraft Weekend Workshop

with Srimati

Near Totnes, Devon, UK

  Sat 15 / Sun 16 June 2013

blue buddha face

An inspiring, powerful and warm-hearted workshop to

   * Get ready for and manifest your ideal new relationship

   * Re-invigorate and deepen connection with your partner

   * Let go of the past and deal with relationship issues

   * Communicate better with family, friends and colleagues

   * Boost confidence, self worth, fulfillment and happiness

   * Share wisdom and support with other friendly Thrivecrafters

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Understand.  Trust.  Enjoy.

Find clarity.  Be inspired.  Create your dreams.

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At Glazebrook Country House Hotel

Near Totnes, Devon, UK

Click here for Glazebrook Country House Hotel website

 £149

 includes lunches and refreshments

For more info and to book, click orange button below:

Eventbrite - The Art of Love: Create & Deepen Fulfilling Relationships


Saying Yes to Abundance Workshop

“What can I expect to get from your workshop?” asks Karen Davies of http://www.mywellbeinguk.co.uk

Here’s my answer!

 


A Message of Freedom

Last week I was in London attending the book launch of Barefoot Doctor’s – The Message.  It was a fantastic event hosted by my dear colleagues Imago People TV – a brand new TV based marketing portal for transformational teachers, evolutionaries and heart-centered thought leaders.

Transformational Goddesses @RachelElnaugh @eros_and_psyche @k... on Twitpic

Jude Levy, Rachel Elnaugh and Katharine Dever (Imago founders)

www.imagopeople.tv

I loved it!  The theatre was full of sparkling, inspired, genuine friends and collaborators, gathered for this special occasion – the launch of Imago’s first book publication having recently signed Barefoot as Imago’s first ‘star’.

After his talk, Barefoot signed books and then we were transported to a Soho nightclub by a fleet of people-carriers where we had a trance-dance after party.  The cocktails were flowing and Barefoot and his DJ friend led a pumping set.  A brilliant way to end the night!

I began reading my copy of The Message this morning.  Having heard Barefoot speak just a few days ago, the pages are alive with his voice and presence.  I was taken right back to watching him on stage – yes with bare feet – talking from the heart without notes and SO eloquently.

And it’s juicy stuff – captivating and satisfying at such a deep level.  It reminded me of when I first heard Buddhism taught so excellently by the funky, fresh, bright young guys at the Glasgow Buddhist Centre in the 1980s.

At the tender age of 19, I was awestruck at the meaning and magic being revealed to me.  I was being given the ways and means to live a very blessed life – and although I no longer consider myself to be a Buddhist (prefering to be open to all forms of spiritual wisdom) – those early teachings have nourished me for decades.

And The Message – deeply infused with the Taoist wisdom that Barefoot draws from – describes the same universal principles of freedom, self-mastery and interconnectedness that is the essence of all untainted spiritual teaching.

Hot off the Press - @ImagoPeopleTV  's first book '... on Twitpic

This morning I am sitting in my conservatory back home in the beautiful Devon countryside, listening to the birds and the sound of our village church bells, watching the trees and shrubs bounce in the gentle wind.  It is so peaceful after the hurly-burly of London…

Even although I lived in London for 16 formative years, I rarely strayed beyond the ‘urban village’ created by the Buddhist community I belonged to.  And these days, I am very much a country bumpkin – an innocent – unused to the wiley ways of London living.

So when I realised that I’d got lost walking from my city hotel to the Barefoot event at Sadlers Wells Theatre, I had an attack of anxiety.  I was lost and alone in the backstreets of Shoreditch, the opposite direction to where I should have been going ( must have been a homing instinct as I used to live in the east end).

Asking directions at a film studio, I was advised to retrace my steps all the way to the main road and catch a cab.  It was going to take ages and I was already late!  Arghh!  Panic!  But the bigger, wiser part of me was cool.  “Don’t worry”, she said, “it’ll be okay.  Just put out a prayer.”

“Please I’d like a taxi to show up for me now”, I thought , and sure enough, a black cab immediately appeared from around the corner to drop someone off right in front of me.  I told the cabbie he was my angel and gave him a big tip.  We made it to the theatre in time.

It was the second ‘kind assistance from strangers’ experience of my London trip.  The first had come in the form of two incredibly sweet receptionists at the hotel who couldn’t do enough to help when I requested a change  to a quieter room.

I had considered just putting up with the roaring traffic, but then thought, “Well why not just ask?”  In the end my room was much nicer and twice the size of the first – and very quiet.  “Hmmm, it’s good practice to simply ask for better things”, I reflected.

The next experience of the kindliness of strangers came a few hours later at the book launch.  I pulled out my purse to pay for drinks and my payment cards were nowhere to be seen.  For a few moments, panic swept through me “They’ve been stolen!  How had that happened?  How was I going to pay for my hotel? What do I need to do to cancel them and stop them being used?”

But somehow, even in the swirl of panic, part of me was chilled, loving, peaceful.  Time slowed down.  Although the bar was busy, the bar tender was patient and smiled sympathetically.  A complete stranger standing next to me offered to pay my bill.  In a few moments, all was well when I discovered my cards had simply fallen out of my purse into my bag. Phew!  But how nice to have been held in my moment of anxiety by the care of others I didn’t even know.

However, the biggest ‘angelic intervention’ via strangers happened the following day when I was on my way to a client’s home for a day of coaching.  In the night, I had knocked a glass of water over my Blackberry (Instant manifestation there too.  In my half-sleep I thought, “Wouldn’t it be awful if I knocked my water on my Blackberry”, and it promptly happened!  Be careful what you think about Srimati!).  In the morning, my Blackberry wouldn’t work.

The dreadful realisation that I didn’t actually have my client’s full address or phone number written down anywhere soon overwhelmed me.  I was relying on my Blackberry for all that information!  Once again, complete panic!  And then, once again, the bigger part of me was reassuring, amused, loving, and enjoying the adventure of it all.  Something would work out.  “Just be open to having some help, as with the taxi”, my inner wisdom said.

I set off.  At least I knew the name and whereabouts of the apartment block.  Maybe there would only be a few flats to choose from and I’d find her.  But when I arrived at the address, I was gazing up at a huge tower block – with at least a hundred apartments!  How was I going to track her down?

I asked a few residents but no-one seemed to know my client.  I chatted with a friendly cleaner who was mopping the floor.  He was sorry but he didn’t know her either.  With me still feeling strangely peaceful despite the impasse, he melted into the moment with me and suddenly remembered that there was a concierge office for the estate just a short walk away.  Maybe they could help.

They did and I was on time for my client.  More importantly, with the backing of my calm, loving bigger self, I had navigated the problem without getting flustered and was still in great nick to conduct my coaching day.

To me these events are such a striking example of our ability to respond creatively even when something challenging is happening to us.  If we are aware enough of that bigger, calmer, wiser loving self (even when another part of us is panicking) there is always a positive choice to make – even if its just to be open to the help of strangers when we are feeling alone and vulnerable.

I read somewhere recently, “Nothing happens by accident.  It merely has a purpose that is not yet understood.”.  I like that.  I like the idea that whatever happens is for a purpose, even if it’s not what we want, and even if we are not consciously aware of it’s deeper purpose yet.

On reflection, I recognised that I had unconsciously created these circumstances during my London trip for a purpose.  The purpose was to graphically demonstrate to myself that I deserve help, support and the best of things; that I am not alone and don’t have to struggle the hard way and that if I am stuck, even random strangers will help me if I only ask.  That’s good stuff for an independent person like me to realise.

In this video, I am talking about the freedom of choice that comes from being able to tune in to our inner wisdom – our bigger, wiser self.  Being awake to this allows us to calm down, take our time, make the right decisions, be open to the positive options available to us.

Its just as Barefoot describes in The Message –

“Because as soon as you can see all aspects of the manifest world – this world of people and machines, this world of nature, this world of planets, stars and galaxies, this world of infinite space, and this world of you – as an expression of the ineffable background presence, as the Tao throwing shapes on the dance floor of the universe, you are no longer fooled or perturbed by appearances.”

“So that no matter how thrilling or scary your circumstances in any given moment, no matter how scintillating or distracting the current configuration of details, you remain centered, referenced to and identified with the prime cause informing it all and are thus able to maintain equilibrium and perspective at all times.  You are able to receive and process the endless incoming stream of information as an expression of absolute love, life and consciousness, as an expression of God or the Tao talking to you.”

So thank you Barefoot Doctor for inspiring me to write this blog this morning.  It was a pleasure to meet you and to participate in your beautiful transmission of The Message.


Happiness, Life Balance and Feminine Wisdom

Everyone seems to be talking about it – that the time is upon us to make radical changes – to find kinder, more balanced ways to prosper in life and business.

As the ‘old ways’ of greed and exploitation continue to falter and fall, we are digging deeper than ever to find alternatives.  How can we create fair societies, healthy economies and sustainable lifestyles?

Even the government has commissioned a study on how to foster happiness, finally acknowledging how important this personal level of well being is.

I am relieved to say I have heard on a reliable grapevine that the government are genuinely taking heed of the findings.

And thank goodness some attention is being placed where it is due.  After all, when we are happy we are healthier, more productive and cause less trouble!  All governments should take heed!

Here’s the link to newly launched Action for Happiness whose work I follow and admire – www.actionforhappiness.org

Being a true Aquarian, I’ve been ahead of the curve on this theme.  A couple of years ago, I spoke at a conference about our experience of setting up a community run shop in our village.

One of the things I mentioned was that giving and contributing to other people (in this case by volunteering in the community shop) was creating increased happiness and that Gross National Happiness was as important as Gross National Product.

But perhaps it’s true that charity begins even closer – at home i.e. within ourselves.  Are we happy, in balance and being kind to ourselves?

When I spoke to former TV Dragon, Rachel Elnaugh, about this she admitted that she felt she had to get ‘tough’ in her early days of business.  This left her out of balance and in need of reclaiming her feminine side.

Nowadays Rachel is actively engaged in supporting a new era of feminine wisdom in business.  She is in the process of setting up her new project Source TV – a cutting edge platform, specialising in video, dedicated to supporting and promoting ‘heart-centred thought leaders’.

It is so inspiring to witness the growing strength of this wave of conscious and creative entrepreneurs and mentors.  I had a very enjoyable couple of days supporting Rachel at the Business Start Up Show in London recently.

Thank you to all you amazing people who I met at Rachel’s stand.  The bounce in your step and the sparkle in your eyes is the only proof I need that a time of  happiness, life balance and feminine wisdom is nearly here!


How do you form and launch a new business idea?

Its funny how one thing leads to another…  And it means I have lots of links to share with you today…

I was just scrolling through my Facebook page when an article by Happiness author and coach, Robert Holden, caught my eye.

www.robertholden.org

Robert’s work has always intrigued me and I’ve heard great things about him from colleagues and friends.  Reading his article, I remembered that Robert is a good friend of Nick Williams – another warm and inspiring UK coach who I connected with a couple of years ago.

www.inspired-entrepreneur.com

And so, that led me onto reviewing the video chats Nick and I had recorded together.  Up popped this one – Nick asking me what steps I advise people to take if they are starting out with a new business idea.

It’s called Tips for Inspired Entrepreneurs and I give three or four really good practical steps that are helpful if you are formulating or wanting to develop a new business – however big or small.

One of the points we discuss is how PERSONAL it is running your own business and how business success goes hand in hand with our own development as a person.

After all, our business is our creation and an expression of who we are. So to make the best of our business, we need to understand and manage how our personal strengths and weaknesses play out in our work .

And it works the other way too – running a business is one of the most character building endeavours we may ever find ourselves involved in.  It can be enormously challenging and by the same token, enormously growthful.

So how does it all begin?  How do you formulate and launch a new business idea?  Have a look…

As it happens, starting new business is a topical for me as I’m planning to attend the Business Start Up Show in London next month.

www.bstartup.com

My friend and colleague Rachel Elnaugh (former dragon from BBC TV Dragons’ Den) will be there to speak on ‘Metaphysical Marketing’ and ‘The Future is Feminine’ – two topics that are close to both our hearts.

www.RachelElnaugh.com

Rachel will also be there ‘womaning’ her stall in support of her exciting new TV channel – Imago People TV.  If you want to know more about it, have a look at Imago’s new website:-

www.imagopeople.tv

But to give you a taste, here are Rachel and I having a video chat about telepathic marketing.

And you are welcome to track down our other videos including our discussion on the emerging Feminine Wisdom in business on my You Tube channel, Thrivecraft.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Thrivecraft?feature=mhee

So, I hope some of these links are of interest to you and I wish you all the best with your new business idea!


My Wonderful Husband, The Holy Cornishman

My finger was poised above the ‘post’ button when I stopped and decided to sleep on it.  I’d just written my latest blog – an appreciation of my wonderful husband, Pat, the Holy Cornishman – but wanted to look it over again in the morning.  The topic had come about because I’ve been curious for a while – who ARE the partners in the shadows of all these lime-lit colleagues I know so well?  As well as this, I’d been thinking it was high time I celebrated the fantastic man who shares my life.

Coincidentally, fellow coach Cathy Dean (the Colourful Coach) was tweeting about how supportive her husband was.  And so, we cooked up a plan to write concurrent blogs honouring our partners.  Cathy’s is here, but mine didn’t make it at the time…  http://colourfulcoach.wordpress.com/2010/10/01/my-lovely-husband-an-appreciation/

Pat and I had been in Cornwall for a week at our cliff top caravan overlooking the atlantic.  We were due to stay for another few days, however, nature intervened – the toothache I’d had for a couple of days showed no sign of waning.  Time to get home to Devon and visit the dentist!  Only today, two weeks later, have I emerged from a dark tunnel of pain and treatment – the likes of which I rarely suffer – and am blinking in the light, wondering what it’s like out here in the big world.

Reading back over my unposted blog, it seems to belong to another lifetime!  Its amazing how an intense experience (like being ill) can bend your perception of time.  However, it still merits being published, especially since Pat has been such a total star at looking after me while I’ve not been well.  So here it is, updated and revived for today.

Thinking about this topic has slowed up my writing.  It made me want to get my nose out of my work for a change and enjoy some time with my lovely husband!  And so Pat and I had some great little trips out while we were based in Cornwall – enjoying the annual Boscastle Festival, the amazing countryside and more than one Cornish pasty!

He is right here with me every day – inside this intimate bubble I call ‘my life’ – sharing the same duvet, drinking tea from the same kettle, wiping his feet on the same door mat.  Pat and I spend huge amounts of time together (living and working together 24/7 as we mostly do), however, sometimes I forget to appreciate what an incredible partnership we enjoy, let alone what a miracle of creation he is in his own right!

There’s a psychological phenomenon called habituation.  What it describes is the tendency to stop noticing what is familiar to you.  Usual, everyday things become part of our background wallpaper and are no longer so visible.  This applies to our relationships too.  And so, like all of us, its easy for me to let my attention drift to more demanding things and take my beloved husband for granted.

I’m also a bit astrologically challenged when it comes to intimate relationships.  For those of you in the know, I have five major planets ( yes five!) in Aquarius.  An Aquarian trait is to so busy out there ‘saving the world’ that you can seem cool and aloof to your nearest and dearest.  I generally experience myself as a warm, loving person, but I can relate to this tendency to overlook those closest to me whilst my attention is out there on the far horizon.

But every now and then I remember what a stunning man I have in my life.  You’d think I would never forget because it took me long enough to find him!  This treasure of a relationship came at the end of a long and ardous journey in the quest to find the right partner.  Our amazing ‘finding true love’ experience inspired a whole strand of work and it wasn’t long before I was running Get Ready for Love workshops to help other people attract their ideal mate.

The other night, I remembered.  Pat and I had been at our Cornwall caravan for a few days.  We were cuddled up watching a romantic TV programme with a bottle of wine and I suddenly found myself moved to the core.  Okay, I admit it, I’m one of those people who gets soppy after a couple of glasses of wine.  I go all soft and heart-melty and amorous – no wonder he’s so pleased when I share a bottle of wine with him!

That night, Pat made a throw away comment about one of the TV characters being just like him.  Suddenly, I piped up with emphatic passion “But you are so much warmer – a firey Cornishman with attitude!”  And as I spoke those words I was sucked away to a vantage point where I could stand back really SEE him afresh – his strength of character, his bright mind, his quirky humour – and all the reasons why I love him so much.

BANG! a massive rush of emotion brought me to tears and I delivered a long, gushing love speech to him.  Pat is one of those amazing, demonstrative men who oten tells me how much he loves me and is liberal with his hugs and compliments.  And although I feel the same about him, I am more remiss in my expressions of affection.  It takes a slug of wine and a good TV romance to wake me out of my complacency!

As I burbled uncontrollably that night, I love everything about him – the way he looks, the way he talks and the way he carries himself – just everything!  One of my favourites is that he’s a blokey bloke – energetic and charismatic – yet is completely at home with his feminine side.  He has all the other guys at the bar roaring with laughter and at the same time he’s deeply intuitive and more than a little psychic (which can be a bit unnerving at times, but jolly useful on the whole!)

Pat’s 6th sense is quick and penetrating.  For example he always spots a dubious motive powering along a fool-hardy decision.  It means I don’t get away with fooling myself about anything and I can kick up about that (a foolish ego trip does not like to be found out!) but I’m always grateful in the end.  He has got used to making waves with his irrepressible truth detector.  He sometimes calls it a curse, but I think it’s an astounding gift.

On the practical level, there’s something astonishing about how compatible we are.  We ALWAYS like the same things, be it furnishings, music, books, countries, houses, clothes, cars, animals, you name it.  Many’s the time we’ve both wondered towards each other in a shop, excitedly carrying the same item to show the ther.  And we share a Zen-minimalist-tidyness (just try coming round and dumping your coat somewhere other than the cloakroom!) which makes living in a small space like a caravan easy for us.   There’s a real grace and ease between us – like a wordless, flowing, ballet dance.

But the compatibility doesn’t stop there.  We MEET each other on every level – intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, physically – something I’ve never experienced in one partner package before.  Sometimes I say to Pat that I’ve been in love with him my whole life.  One of the keenest things I sensed when we met was that we’d been together in previous lives.  It’s as though there’s always been a Pat shaped gap in my life until we found each other again in 2002.  If you’ve not read it already, here’s a magazine article telling the story of how we met…

 Meeting My Match  – http://wp.me/ps0N4-9U

However, if I had to pick one thing about Pat that sums up why he is so fantastic to be with it would be this – his PRESENCE.  What I mean is that he is switched on, awake, conscious, aware, paying attention.  Never pre-occupied with other things (like me!) he is present in every moment – hearing what I say, sensing what I feel, observing what needs to happen next.

He is a man of body and soul as well as heart and mind , alive to his total experience all the time.  When I talk to him he gives me his fullest, deepest, loving attention.  When he touches me, he touches me with with his whole energetic being, not just his body.  Believe me, I know how rare this is!  The man is a phenomenon!

Of course we’ve had our intense run-ins over the years (we are quite a match in the adamant department too!), but what is fantastic about us is our mutual commitment to get to the bottom of what’s gone off kilter, what it is our conflict is trying to show us.  We accept the principle of taking responsibility for ourself and not blaming the other, even if we can’t always practice it in the heat of the moment.  Eventually we get there, even if it takes a day or two.  I always say if there’s the ability and willingness to communicate, most relationship problems can be overcome.

A Course in Miracles  http://www.amazon.co.uk/Course-Miracles-Foundation-Inner-Peace/dp/1883360269/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1287440966&sr=1-1  is a wonderful spiritual workbook that makes an emphatic point about relationships – our partner (or any other person we ever encounter, for that matter) is ALWAYS being a mirror, showing us something about US that we need to see and understand.  It is pointless to blame the other person for making us happy or unhappy.  We can only look to ourselves – to our own responses to how our partner is behaving – and learn from that.  We should never seek to change another.  Happiness can only come from within.

One of my favourite books about relationship is Stephen and Ondrea Levine’s Embracing the Beloved: Relationship as a Path of Awakening.  http://www.amazon.co.uk/Embracing-Beloved-Relationship-Path-Awakening/dp/0717134334/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1287440842&sr=1-2  It’s a beautiful, poetic book that has inspired my desire for meaningful relationship with a life partner for many years.

 And then there’s David Deida’s, Finding God Through Sex http://www.amazon.co.uk/Finding-God-Through-Sex-Awakening/dp/1591792738/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1287440649&sr=1-1#noop – a powerful, raw, yet sensitive treatment of what our physical love making is truly all about.  Only when I met Pat did I begin to experience and practice what these authors write about so eloquently.

So, perhaps that’s a good note to wind up on.  Hmm, but you might be curious to see the man himself?  Well, you can.  Here’s he is, talking on video in his Love of Spiritual Man series.  In this clip he’s talking about what makes our relationship special.   After all, he should know!

 


Raw and Real from the Wild Field Episode One: Giving It All Away

Unsettling Change

Its been sooooo much more challenging than I thought it would. I mean, I knew it would be an adjustment moving from a nine room country cottage to a couple of caravans in a field, but I didn’t expect the personal disorientation to be so strong.

Okay it’s a big downsize and I knew I’d be saying goodbye to a lot of stuff and learning to live in less space and be confronted with emptying toilet tanks in the rain, but I didn’t expect to have the carpet ripped from under my feet. If I’m honest I’ve been feeling horribly unsettled and insecure since we moved a month ago. Where has the happy, inspired, life-loving Srimati gone?

Last night, Pat, my husband, stirred around 1am and I woke up too. I find that if I wake within a short while of going to sleep at night – and there’s something undigested going on emotionally – I’m presented with a shadowey, doom laden ‘oh-oh’ of uncomfortable feelings that won’t go away and won’t let me get back to sleep again. Last night it was dreadful, soul sucking, zero confidence. Everything was wrong. I was wrong. Life was wrong. And some how it was all my fault.

Many is the time I’ve been up in the night battling with such demons. I often wonder, however, how many women can say that they have a husband who is willing to spend all night, if necessary, slaying demons with them? I have one such husband – totally mad in many eyes and utterly sane in mine. A misunderstood Cornish rascal, I’ve been bright enough to recognise I have my very own, flesh and blood, guardian angel sharing my life with me. Pat is one hell of an ally and absolutely the best friend I’ve ever had by a mile.

So there we were in dressing gowns sitting under the moon in camp chairs at two in the morning. I briefly described how I was feeling. “I know”, he said, “I could feel your energy nose-diving all day.” I gazed at the magical moon appearing and disappearing into clouds and listened. His gravelly voiced, meandering stories and irreverant observations soothed me and brought humorous clarity all at the same time. I felt better. I could see what I’d been doing to myself…

Giving it All Away

Sometimes I get so frustrated with my own habitual mess ups – “Arggh! Stop! You’ve done it again! For goodness sake, STOP it Srimati!” Our habits and blind spots can be so entrenched. It seems to me that we all have one big core mucked up tendency that we spend our entire life attempting to break free of. (That’s if we are conscious enough to even try. There are plenty of us who never even realise what’s going on and just spend life being battered around by the painful consequences of our own unknowing over and over again).

With me it’s over-giving. I don’t mean being super generous, I mean giving inappropriately, ‘giving’ to the point that I abuse myself and prevent others from taking responsibility for themselves. Eventually, I get tired and depleted and have a kickback of resentment. The other person remains infantalised and never learns to stand on their own two feet. So in fact it’s not generous at all because nobody gains anything! Giving is only generosity when it is appropriately given and comes from a full cup, not being drunkenly sucked up from the dregs of a spill on the floor.

Over-giving is a classic generosity distortion, especially with mothers (and guess where my tendency shows itself most? Yes, with my 15 year old son Jamie). Not surprisingly, many of my friends, family and clients suffer from a similar thing. Like attracts like and so we draw people to us that carry similar energy and values – including problematic tendencies. The best teacher, however, is someone who is just a little free-er and more conscious than ourselves, so fortunately my clients do benefit from my years of self inflicted agony.

For the last six weeks I’ve been a one woman pack horse and rescue service. First I spent weeks, dawn to dusk, single handedly packing, redistributing or chucking every possession we had from the cottage, then setting up the caravans. I had the where-with-all to organise a man and a van to move some heavy furniture and ask a group of fab friends to help me with the final clean up day, but other than that, I’ve done the entire thing solo.

At the same time my boy, Jamie, has been experiencing his first big relationship breakup. He split up from his girlfriend after a year, and being an intense young thing (just like his mother) he has taken it hard. Late night and early morning phonecalls, mopping up tears, sick and messy rooms, taxi services to friends and work experiences have been a daily feature. And I’d somehow forgotten he’d be off school for the summer let alone need this extra emotional support. I’d had this romantic idea that I’d do the move in a couple of weeks and then spend July and August writing my first best seller. Hmm, had to re-think that one…

Meanwhile, being a highly sensitive person with multiple health issues, Pat’s chronic neck and back problems got a whole lot worse. In my exhausted, martyr-like hysteria (it’s really not very pretty), pushing to finish the cottage clean up in time, I told him to “F off” if he couldn’t help (the resentment kicking in!). So he did. Feeling totally powerless to reach me through my temporary insanity or love me or support me in any way, he withdrew to the caravans feeling terrible and his neck promptly went into acute spasm.

So, despite Pat’s enthusiasm for the caravan way of life, he’s not been able to help with usual domestics let alone the extra carrying and fetching this lifestyle requires. I felt like I’d cursed our last moment together at the cottage. Those ugly words were the last to leave my lips and it seemed like the antithesis of the love and appreciation we’d share there for two and a half years. The next morning, I went back to the cottage to say goodbye properly. All tasks done now, I went from room to room, remembering, weeping, blessing and praying. I asked for forgiveness and to cleanse the stain I’d made the day before.

Being a Mystic Angel

 A few months ago, I picked up Doreen Virtue’s book, Realms of the Earth Angels, and experienced a revelation. In her book, Doreen, describes personality traits and life experiences in terms of certain types of earth angels (do read this fantastic wee book to get the whole context). I had such recognition of myself that I began to shake. Her categorisations made so much sense of my life and relationships, my strengths and weaknesses and my purpose and inspiration. So much so that it generated a new title for the biography that I’m writing – More Than Meets the Eye: My Life as a Mystic Angel.

At first I thought I was a Wise One – compassionate and committed to helping the world, a leader and guide, a powerful manifestor with a tendency to be over serious.  However, I also recognised myself in the Incarnate Angel category. Here is the over-giving for a start. Along side this is an innocent, loving and trusting nature which can easily be taken advantage of. Incarnate Angels can tend to overweight (check) and drawn into co-dependent relationships (check).

And so it turns out I’m a Mystic Angel – a blend of both a Wise One and a Incarnate Angel. Right now, its my Incarnate Angel vulnerability/ gullibility that is being tested. Talking to Pat last night under the moon, I realise that I just do not realise when people are lying to me or trying to manipulate me or use me. I receive what’s said as the truth (I don’t usually get jokes or teasing because I fail to comprehend that the person is not speaking the absolute, literal truth to me!) I always give people the benefit of the doubt, understand why they feel limited or compromised and may not be acting in their own best interests and respond by doing what I can to rescue them from their suffering.

Of coure my trusting and compassionate nature is also my biggest asset! I do genuinely love and understand people and see their beautiful pure natures deep within them. That’s what helps me be such a good coach. However, our greatest weakness is also our greatest strength and vice versa. The trick is to be aware enough to know when our strength has flipped over to the dark side and is serving our fear and unconsciousness instead of our love and wisdom.

To help me with this, Pat has reminded me of a simple basic practice to correct my over-giving – the practice of saying “No!”. Sometimes its embarressing to have to go back to psychological base camp again, but that’s what I need to do. I need to say “No!” more and suffer the discomfort of the other person not getting what they want or having to dig into themselves to provide the solutions. I need to value myself enough to commit to my own needs first and foremost, to fill my cup, so that I can truly give again.

And so, I’ve invented a simple summer routine for myself starting today. Here I am living in the Wild Field. We are all moved. Jamie is getting over his break up and settling into his summer holidays. Pat’s neck is getting better. I have some time to myself again – time that I could fool myself into giving away to others if I am not vigilant. But I feel I will go mad if I do not now honour what is most precious in my life – my vocation to write and share wisdom.

In my own best interests, I’ve set some boundaries… I will not turn my phone on until midday. I will spend every weekday morning quietly by myself writing and meditating. My weekday mornings are all MINE from now on! And so, here it is, the outpouring of my love and creativity from a full cup – Raw and Real: Intimate Insights from the Wild Field. I hope you join me here often.


What makes me the Inner Wisdom Coach and why do I love working with conscious entrepreneurs?