Diving for Pearls Now Available
Order your advance-publication signed copy NOW!
My new book Diving for Pearls: The Wise Woman’s Guide to Finding Love
is being published on the 29th September 2017.
There are a limited number of advance-publication signed copies
now available directly from me.
Price (inc post)
UK – £15
Outside UK – £18
Your copy will be posted 1st Class from UK
within 3 days of payment being received.
Buy your copy of Diving for Pearls here
via Paypal (click below)
BUY NOW – UK- £15
BUY NOW – non UK – £18
Dive For Your Pearls
This book is part true love story and part how-to guide. In these pages, I take you with me on the spiritual adventure of my life and share how I eventually found what I was longing for – deep trust in my own inner wisdom and a true love, soul mate and life partner that can meet me on all levels. Along with the story, I share the insights and learning that lit the way for me with the hope that this will also help illuminate your path of love and wisdom.
My quest for wisdom began when I was a child, trying to figure out if church had the answers to life’s big questions. Continuing by studying psychology at university, I was profoundly affected by the death of my father and discovered the practice of meditation. For nearly two decades thereafter, I trained for and became an ordained Buddhist.
But wisdom wasn’t enough. Although denying it for many years, deep down I also ached to be properly partnered by a soul mate – a true love that shared every aspect of my life. A series of experiences finally brought me to fulfill that destiny and the ensuing spiritual renaissance resulted in the resigning of my ordination and the founding of Thrivecraft – an inspirational coaching practice providing a universal path of love and wisdom for all.
Echoing my own journey, the first half of Pearls is about inner wisdom. Along with this part of my story, I share tips and teachings on meditation, mindfulness and intuition so that you too can tune in to your own natural inner wisdom.
The second half focuses on finding true love and includes my ‘Get Ready For Love’ step-by-step guide. I also describe how inner wisdom continues to serve a deepening relationship once you’ve met a partner (or, indeed, reveals when it is time to move on).
It is my dear wish that you will be inspired by my story and tips, transported by a special ‘Ask Your Inner Wisdom’ meditation I have created and recapture your natural entitlement to be completely guided and supported in all that you do. Go ahead and find the kind of love and wisdom that you so desire and so deserve. Dive for your pearls – they are right here and they are all yours.
January 9, 2017 | Categories: Ask Your Inner Wisdom, buy Maggie Kay's new book, create your ideal life, Creativity, develop intuition, Discover Your Inner Wisdom, Diving for Pearls, Diving for Pearls:The Wise Woman's Guide to Finding Love, Embracing the Beloved, finding my soul mate, Finding True Love, finding your ideal partner, Follow Your Bliss, following your heart, getting ready for love again, guided meditation, inner guidance, inner wisdom, inner wisdom coach, Inspiration, inspirational coaching, intuition, law of attraction, Love, love and loss, Love and relationships, Love Your Imperfections, Love Your Inner Demons, Love Yourself, Maggie Kay, Maggie Kay Wisdom, Maggie's Kay's new book, manifestation, manifesting a love match, meditation, meditation for inner answers, meditation for inner wisdom, meet your ideal partner, Meeting Your Love Match, metaphysics, metta bhavana, Mindfulness, non-attachment, relationship, relationships, Resigning Buddhist ordination, Review your life, self worth, Set Your Life Free, soul satisfaction, soul sparkle, spiritual coaching, spiritual intelligence, Srimati, The Ah Meditation, the death of a loved one, the inner wisdom coach, Thrivecraft, Thrivecraft coaching, true love, true love story, unconditional love, Understanding Yourself, valentines day, valuing yourself, Wake Up Your Wisdom, Wayne Dyer, wisdom, Wise Woman's Guide to Finding Love, Writing, Writing a book | Tags: answers, attachment, Buddhism, Buddhist retreat centre, clarity, death, Diving for Pearls, Diving for Pearls: The Wise Woman's Guide to Finding Love, finding answers, finding love, freedom, guidance, how to attract true love, how to find love, how to love and let go, insight, inspiration, intuition, law of attraction, love, Maggie Kay, Maggie Kay Wisdom, manifestation, meditation, metaphysics, New book from Maggie Kay, New Relationship, relationship, relationships, spirit, spiritual, spirituality, Thrivecraft, Thrivecraft Coaching, true love, true love story, Wisdom | Leave a comment
Meditation Made Easy
Meditation Made Easy
For Busy Minds
Meditation Workshops with Maggie Kay
Saturday and Sunday afternoon
At the Port Eliot Festival 28 – 31 July
St Germans, Cornwall
For info click here – Port Eliot Festival workshops
Ten Tips for Easy Meditation
We’ve all had those moments. Suddenly, we are totally absorbed in a thing of great beauty – an incredible golden sunset on a beach, a piece of heart soaring music that moves us to tears. The rest of the world disappears. There’s only this wonderful experience, filling us, thrilling us. Anything we were doing pauses. Anything we were thinking melts away. We are transported into vivid aliveness and feel like we are standing in the center of the universe.
This aliveness is our natural state. It is waiting beneath and below all the complicated layers of our life ready to greet us. All we have to do is remember to drop in from time to time – visit the oasis, refresh ourselves – and we can take that aliveness back into our everyday life. Somehow, then, our troubles aren’t quite so troubling. We feel like our emotional batteries are charged up. We can see more clearly how to deal with things.
This is essentially what we are doing when we sit down to meditate. It’s so easy to forget our natural, alive state that we need to do something routinely to remind ourselves. So, we build reminder time into our daily pattern – get up, brush our teeth, have a cup of tea, meditate – and that way we don’t forget to remember! As little as ten minutes spent like this every day can invite the aliveness back into our life.
So, how to we do it?
1. Decide what you are doing
Before you start meditating, be clear how long you will sit for and what kind of meditation practice you will do. Have a silent watch or clock within sight so you can open your eyes and peek at the time if you need to. You may notice that you soon don’t need a clock. Before long you will instinctively ‘feel’ that the time you’ve allocated is up and it’s time to come out of meditation.
2. Choose your time
It makes a big difference if you can stick to the same time to meditate every day (or every other day or every week – whatever routine you establish). If you pick your time and stick to it you don’t have to keep re-making the decision to meditate and figuring out when. It just becomes part of your day or week.
First thing in the morning is great. It’s well worth getting up half an hour earlier to give yourself this start to the day. Some people prefer last thing at night when everything is over. Or perhaps your best time is when you get home from taking the kids to school. Or maybe after getting home from work and just before dinner. Whatever time you pick, have a satisfied tummy – neither hungry nor overfull. Choose your time and make it part of your daily or weekly routine.
3. Find your quiet spot
Find a place where you can be quiet and undisturbed. Be in a room on your own (unless others are meditating with you). Unplug your phone and switch off your mobile. Be out of earshot of TV or radio. Let others know to leave you in peace.
It’s nice to set the scene for your self. Perhaps face a garden window or a vase of flowers or an inspiring picture. Burn some incense or essential oils. Make this your special meditation spot. You will find that this place will start to have a peaceful atmosphere, a meditation ‘vibe’.
4. Be comfortable
Find a chair where you can sit comfortably in an alert, upright position. A dining room chair is good, or an easy chair. You can also prop yourself up at the head of a bed. Undo any tight clothing, buttons or zips.
Wherever you are sitting, support your back with cushions so that your spine is reasonably straight and your head and neck is free. If you are on a dining room chair you can put a cushion under your feet. If you are in an easy chair you can see if you prefer having your legs folded up cross-legged. If so, make sure your knees are supported with cushions if needed.
Some people like to sit on a pile of cushions on the floor, or a meditation stool. If so, put a blanket down first as a mat, then your cushions or stool on top. Two or three firm cushions are about right. At the right height your back is not bowing or arching but relatively straight. You can straddle the cushions like a horse, or sit with your legs folded in front of you cross-legged. Support your knees by tucking extra cushions under them if they don’t reach the ground so you can relax at the hips.
However you sit, you should have a strong base – a tripod of your backside and your two knees. Have your hands resting in your lap. Tying a shawl or scarf at your tummy gives a little shelf to rest your hands on if you like.
There’s always the option to lie down on a bed or the floor if you think you’d be most comfortable like this. The only draw back is that you may find yourself feeling sleepier than if you were sitting upright. None the less, the number one priority is that you are comfortable. So if lying down is right for you, that’s fine.
Close your eyes lightly, or have them half open if you are very sleepy or disoriented.
If you get stiff or pins and needles while you are meditating, gently and slowly move and re-position yourself and carry on. However, the idea is to find out how to sit completely comfortably for an extended period of time without having to move, so keep playing with your posture until you get it just right.
When you are settled, close your eyes lightly, or have them slightly open if you are very sleepy or disoriented.
5. Let the weight drop down
Take several big, long, deep, deliberate, audible breaths. As you breathe out, let your weight drop down through the sitting bones – down, down, down through your seat and the floor into the ground.
Even as we let our weight drop down, we are also aware of an invisible force supporting us upright. It’s as though we have a taut string attached the crown of our head, reminding us of our natural poise and alertness. The more we relax and drop down, the more we feel effortlessly supple and upright.
6. Relax and soften
Relaxing further, roll your shoulders a few times each way. Then move your head gently from side to side. Make some wild faces to release your face muscles (nobody’s looking!). Let your jaw hang slightly slack and your tongue be free. You can use your hands to gently massage your jaw, cheeks and forehead. Carry on over the scalp and down the back of your neck. Give your shoulders a bit of a squeeze then stroke down your arms to your fingers. Continue down the body with your hands, squeezing or stroking all the way down to your toes. You can hang over your toes for a while. Keep breathing easily and slowly uncurl. Finally, shake out your hands and finish with a nice stretch. Come back to a relaxed, upright sitting posture again.
Take a few more strong breaths. Let your tummy be soft. Check your jaw is still slack and that the tongue is free.
7. Drop into the breath
Notice how you are breathing now, however it wants to come and go. Feel how it is to be breathing, how you feel inside yourself, the rhythm of the breath as it comes and goes. Let yourself be filled with breath. It’s as though your whole body is breathing, expanding and contracting with every in and out breath. Feel your breath right down to your toes, to the tips of your fingers, to the roots of your hair.
8. Give your head a rest
As you’re breathing, you may be aware of questions and preoccupations rippling around in your mind. It probably feels like its going on in your head. However, invite your thinking mind to rest for a little while. It’s not needed for few minutes.
Soften your eyes, let your eyes go soft and dewy (even though your eyes are closed you can do that) and let the brain itself feel slack in your head. Just feel the breath going in and out the body. Breathe in and out and let all those thought particles fall through the breath like dust particles falling through the air in a sunny room. Let them all fall to the ground.
9. Feel into your heart
Breathing into the body, notice how you are physically feeling around your heart area in your chest. Can you feel if it is tight or relaxed? Can you feel if your heart feels nice, or if it feels pain, or somewhere in between? Can you feel if your heart feels far away or if it feels very vivid and acute and present?
And whatever it is or isn’t, just noticing it as you breathe. Feeling the texture and the tone of our heart. You might be aware that there is a kind of atmosphere – an emotional atmosphere around your heart. You might not have a name for it, but you can feel its ambience, its flavour.
Perhaps you can even sense its colour – the colour of your emotional heart right now. You might not see it exactly, but whatever occurs to you – the colour or colours of your heart. Even if it’s not what you expect, even if it’s not what you want, notice the colour.
10. Being with all that you are
Continue to breathe with all that you are – all that you think, all that you feel, all that you sense, and all that you know. Gather yourself into the breath and let yourself drop into the vastness of your total being. Getting into this zone is a meditation in itself, and you need do nothing more. However, you are now also ready to take it further into a focused meditation if that’s what you’ve chosen.
Maggie Kay’s complete guided meditation – Ask Your Inner Wisdom – leads you through a full preparation / relaxation and then on to find inner answers from deep within your own wisdom.
The 20 minute MP3 download of Ask Your Inner Wisdom and free 2 minute sample is available at Meditation with Maggie Kay
Online Meditation Course & Meditation Teacher Training
Maggie Kay’s 4 week online meditation and certified meditation teacher training courses are also available at Meditation with Maggie Kay
July 19, 2016 | Categories: Festival in Cornwall, guided meditation, Maggie Kay, Maggie Kay Wisdom, meditation, Meditation at festival, meditation for inner answers, meditation for inner wisdom, Meditation workshop, metta bhavana, Mindfulness, Thrivecraft, Uncategorized | Tags: Ask Your Inner Wisdom, calming emotions, finding answers, guided meditation, Inner experience, inner wisdom, inner world, inspiration, intuition, law of attraction, learn meditation at festival, Maggie Kay Wisdom, making clear decisions, meditation, meditation CDs, meditation cornwall, Meditation for Busy Minds, Meditation Made Easy, Meditation workshop, metaphysics, mindfulness, personal guidance, Port Eliot Festival, spiritual guidance, spiritual intelligence, spirituality, Thrivecraft, Thrivecraft Coaching | Leave a comment
Meditation and New Year Angels
For me, 2015 started with much excitement as I began printing out the manuscript of the book I have been writing for the last nine months – Diving for Pearls: Discovering Inner Wisdom – new book from Maggie Kay. The pages were literally rolling out of the printer on the stroke of midnight, much to my delight at having completed it.
In fact, I watched the new year London fireworks on TV with the first few chapters in one hand and my wonderful husband Pat’s hand in the other, buzzing because I had just managed to finish writing my first good draft that evening. I had been aiming to complete my book by the end of the year, but had given myself some licence to go over that if necessary. When I realised I was nearly there on the morning of the 31st, however, I went all out to get it done in time for the dawn of 2015, forgoing meals and typing with happy fervour.
At Pat’s suggestion, we read out a chapter to each other before bed in the wee hours. I hadn’t shared my book with anyone before so was thrilled that he absolutely loved it and can’t wait to read it all. I feel so supported by Pat who has been nudging me to get on with book writing for years. And now I’ve finally done it!
Things took an interesting turn on New Year’s day when our Jeep broke down while food shopping in the neighboring village. Yet, even that was somewhat charmed because a lovely young farmer man with typical practical confidence and know-how spent an hour trying to start it – a bearded angel in oily jeans and a pick-up truck. I had actually put out a prayer for a mechanical angel to show up, and he did!
Despite his good-willed attempts, this angel didn’t manage to get the Jeep going, bless him, but my sister Katy, who lives in the village, kept me company at her house and supplied me with tea while we waited for my vehicle recovery service. (She also bought the helpful young man some bottles of beer as a thank you which he appreciated). As I was there, I helped Katy get some boxes into her attic and she passed on to me some lovely clothes that she no longer needed.
The recovery guy got the Jeep started first time with the help of some injector fuel (or something – I don’t quite understand) and an enormous set of jump leads, and I was able to drive home. Pat was waiting to help me unpack the shopping, having been tipped off by Katy by phone that all was well.
So, although it was dark and raining by the time I got back and things hadn’t at all gone according to plan that day, I was left feeling totally blessed, supported and loved by beautiful caring people – whether strangers or family.
I actually kind of enjoyed the whole adventure, and am reminded that if we meet ‘adversity’ with that spirit of love and acceptance, we can have fun and encounter much goodwill and human kindness along the way.
As I have just been explaining in my new book, Diving for Pearls, I nearly always find the silver lining in any clouds that come my way these days. I put this down to the clarity and positivity that my experience of meditation brings into my heart, mind and soul. The awareness – or mindfulness as it is often called – generated by meditation gives you the opportunity to respond creatively to things that happen to you and draw good fortune to you. This means that you can truly be master of your own universe and encourage things to turn out for the best.
If you are thinking about learning to meditate or having some support with an existing practice, I have a wonderful homestudy online meditation course available which results in a qualification as an accredited Thrivecraft Meditation Practitioner.
This easy-going four week course gives you tips and support as well as a thorough introduction to four fantastic meditation techniques that foster mindfulness, positivity, manifestation power and inner wisdom. Simply watch the videos, listen to the audios and try out the guidelines I am laying out for you.
As a special encouragement to help you establish your new meditation rhythm early in the new year, I have decided to offer this course at 25% off until the 31st January 2015.
To claim your 25% discount, click on ‘enter promotional code’ on the Eventbrite booking page, and enter the code newyearoffer – this will reduce the quoted course price by 25%.
So what are you waiting for? Click right here to find out more and have a sparkling start to 2015.
Happy New Year!
With Maggie Kay
Online home study course – 4 wk
Thorough, enjoyable, relaxed and friendly
instruction and practice in meditation
Thrivecraft Practitioner Certificate
Principles * Technique * Preparation * Practice
Suitable for experienced and new meditators alike
Four meditation techniques taught and guided
Talks on related topics
Home practice instruction
Participant experiences, comments and Q&As
Two hours of video per week/ meditation (approx)
Links to bonus videos
Written materials (e-documents)
Meditation Practices Covered:
Mindfulness of Breathing
Development of Loving Kindness
Ah / Om Manifestation
Ask Your Inner Wisdom
Week 1. Mindfulness
What is meditation, introduction to practitioner course, posture for meditation, what is mindfulness, mindfulness of breathing meditation explained, guided mindfulness of breathing practice.
Week 2. Loving Kindness
Q&A on mindfulness, higher consciousness with meditation, loving kindness meditation explained, guided loving kindness practice.
Week 3. Manifestation
Q&A on loving kindness, hinderances to meditation, antidotes to hinderances, principles of manifestation, Ah/Om manifestation meditation explained, guided Ah/Om manifestation practice.
Week 4. Inner Wisdom
Q&A on Ah/Om manifestation, what is inner wisdom, Ask Your Inner Wisdom meditation explained, guided Ask Your Inner Wisdom practice, where to go from here.
The Thrivecraft Practitioner Certificate is a prerequisite
for the Thrivecraft Meditation Teacher Certificate
Thrivecraft is an Approved Training Provider
Accredited by the IICT
For more information and to book the
home study online audio/video course
click orange button below:
to claim your 25% discount
enter the promotional code newyearoffer
In this video extract from meditation practitioner course, below, Maggie Kay describes the benefits of meditation.
January 2, 2015 | Categories: Abundance, Ah meditation, Ask Your Inner Wisdom, Awareness, conscious writing, Creating Abundance, Creativity, develop intuition, Dr Wayne W Dyer, establishing good new habits, Finding Answers, guided meditation, inner guidance, inner wisdom, inner wisdom coach, Inspiration, intuition, Letting Go of Control, life balance, Love, Love Your Imperfections, Love Yourself, Maggie Kay, Maggie Kay Wisdom, manifestation, meditation, meditation for inner answers, meditation for inner wisdom, metaphysics, metta bhavana, online meditation course, Process of Writing a book, relaxation, soul sparkle, Srimati, The Ah Meditation, the inner wisdom coach, Thrivecraft, Wake Up Your Wisdom, wisdom, Writing, Writing a book | Tags: accredited meditation course, Ah meditation, Ask Your Inner Wisdom, benefits of meditation, calming emotions, dealing with a crisis, discount on meditation course, finding answers, great deal on meditation course, Inner experience, inner wisdom, inner wisdom coach, loving kindness, Maggie Kay, manifestation, meditation course, mindfulness, online meditation course, regular meditation, Thrivecraft, Thrivecraft Meditation Practitioner | 2 Comments
Art of Love Relationship Workshop
The Art of Love
Creating & Deepening Fulfilling Relationships
For singles, couples and all
Thrivecraft Weekend Workshop
Near Totnes, Devon, UK
Sat 15 / Sun 16 June 2013
An inspiring, powerful and warm-hearted workshop to
* Get ready for and manifest your ideal new relationship
* Re-invigorate and deepen connection with your partner
* Let go of the past and deal with relationship issues
* Communicate better with family, friends and colleagues
* Boost confidence, self worth, fulfillment and happiness
* Share wisdom and support with other friendly Thrivecrafters
Understand. Trust. Enjoy.
Find clarity. Be inspired. Create your dreams.
At Glazebrook Country House Hotel
Near Totnes, Devon, UK
Click here for Glazebrook Country House Hotel website
includes lunches and refreshments
For more info and to book, click orange button below:
May 19, 2013 | Categories: Abraham Hicks, Ah meditation, Ask Your Inner Wisdom, attachment, Dealing with teenagers, Embracing the Beloved, Embracing the Beloved, Finding God Through Sex, Finding True Love, Follow Your Bliss, guided meditation, holistic, How to say no, inner guidance, inner wisdom, Inspiration, inspirational coaching, intuition, law of attraction, life coaching, Love, love and loss, Love and relationships, manifestation, meditation, Meeting Your Love Match, metaphysics, metta bhavana, mother's love, non-attachment, relationships, self worth, spiritual coaching, spiritual intelligence, The Ah Meditation, the death of a loved one, The Secret, true love, unconditional love, valuing yourself | Tags: attracting a life partner, creating good relationships, dealing with teenagers, guided meditation, healing relationships, inspiration, intuition, law of attraction, letting go of the past, life coaching, love, making friends, Meeting Your Love Match, metaphysics, Non-attachment, relationships, self help, understanding your children, understanding your partner | Leave a comment
It’s the eve of Valentine’s Day and I’m thinking about LOVE…
Love has to be my favourite topic and I have written articles, scoped out books, given talks, recorded videos, led workshops and guided meditations on love many, many times.
So how do you find your ideal partner?
It took me a while to find the true love relationship I always wanted. I was 38 and Pat was 50 before we met and we’d both had our fair share of ups and downs in relationship before finding each other.
Here’s my article from Connect Magazine – Meeting My Match – about how I finally prepared myself for and attracted a really great life partner:
Pat and I at our wedding in 2003 – making offerings to the river
It wasn’t long before I was inspired to run Get Ready for Love workshops as part of my coaching practice. During the course of a weekend, participants dived into the deep and delightful process of preparing themselves for a superb relationship.
This article by the Daily Express, shares some of my top tips on getting ready for love:
In this video, I remind us of the golden rules that enable us to attract what we really want into our lives – including a great partner:
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. Please do share your own true love stories with us here in the comments box. It’s a wonderful thing to share…
February 13, 2012 | Categories: Ah meditation, Dragon's Den, Embracing the Beloved, Embracing the Beloved, Finding God Through Sex, Finding True Love, inspirational coaching, law of attraction, manifestation, meditation, Meeting Your Love Match, metaphysics, metta bhavana, Rachel Elnaugh, Raw and Real, relationships, true love | Tags: Ah meditation, love, manifestation, meditation, Rachel Elnaugh | Leave a comment
Raw and Real in the Wild Field Episode 6: Just a Little Tenderness
Well, my lovelies, it seems I’ve had a bit of blog writer’s block! I have continued to write a daily journal and have recorded a few videos for future consumption, but it’s been hard to know what to share with you for this episode of Raw and Real. I’m guessing that this is because I’ve been deep within an inner process that’s hard to write about whilst inside it. It’s still in happening, but it’s now two weeks since my last post, so I thought I’d at least let you know what’s been going on.
I’m writing this from the wild cliffs of Cornwall instead of the wild field in Devon. Pat and I have been here at our caravan on the atlantic coast for a few days – suddenly hungry to be here after a four month block in Devon. We were partly influenced by the change in the weather – beautifully sunny and fine again after an intense spell of rain. It is incredibly beautiful here. The views over the ocean are just awesome and the psychic quietness of the atmosphere totally liberating. It feels like there’s space for your inner world to expand out and fly-dance in the sky.
About three weeks ago I embarked on a 40 day spiritual programme. It’s a simple thing really – daily reading, reflecting and writing on the themes – but the effects have been profound. I’m no stranger to this sort of thing (I spent my twenties engaged in full time study, meditation, right livelihood practice and retreats on the lead up to becoming an ordained Buddhist) but its been a while since I’ve taken up a such a purposeful, purely spiritual, exercise.
Recently, things have been very settled at the wild field. We’ve been there for a couple of months and all the pandemonium is over. Pat’s bad neck is much better, Jamie has been enjoying a renewed social life after his relationship break up and I’ve re-established my coaching, meditation and writing practice. I’ve been waking up every day, looking out over the peaceful meadows, feeling my wonderful family close by and counting my blessings. What a fantastic, beautiful, quiet, retreat-like haven of a life-style! Almost without realising it, I’ve been dropping deeper and deeper into the richness of my inner world.
And so its not surprising that the spiritual programme is biting. I recognise the pattern. At first there’s excitement and inspiration at the juicy wisdom being studied. Then times of uncomfortableness and resistance because an unenlightened part of me feels threatened (usually hanging on to some ingrained and unconscious way of being that’s really not necessary or useful any more).
After feeling tense and unhappy for a while (can be hours or days) it becomes clearer what’s being challenged and what needs to let go. It helps to allow myself to feel my upset emotions (have a rant or a cry or whatever) and talk to someone who understands the process or write it all down in a journal without judgement. Eventually the realisations come and I end up feeling cleansed, renewed and aligned with a more peaceful, happy way of living than ever before.
I’m now 25 days into the programme and having my third wave of uncomfortableness. (I’ve been really happy and carefree in between, honest!) I’m reminded that at times like this the best thing we can do is simply accept ourselves just as we are – and without the need to analyse why we are feeling out of sorts. A great exercise when you feel like this is to write a long list of “I love me when….(and finish the sentence)”. Write about loving yourself – good or bad – until you have a feeling of accepting every last part of yourself unconditionally. For example “I love me when I’m inspired”, “I love me when I’m depressed”, “I love me when I know what I’m doing and why”, “I love me when I’m lost and confused”.
Unconditional acceptance of oneself is always the beginning of the end of unhappiness. It’s so simple. Even when you are feeling utterly wretched it is possible to step outside and look back upon yourself compassionately (just as you would look upon a crying child who has broken a beloved toy). The trick is to remember to do so! Once, when I was upset about something and unable to feel compassion for myself, Pat fetched a mirror and tenderly held it up in front of me. Looking at the poor crying face in there made me feel rather sorry for the girl and my heart melted.
I think Eckhart Tolle’s masterful book, The Power of Now, captures the simplicity of this acceptance process beautifully. I always say that the Power of Now is one of my ‘desert island books’. I have read scores and scores of spiritual and personal development books over the years, but this one captures an essence of them all. If I was stuck on a desert island with only a few books, I’d want this to be one of them. I thoroughly recommend it. Here’s his website:
There’s also a brilliant loving kindness meditation that I learned many years ago and still practice and teach with relish. It’s a Buddhist meditation called the Metta Bhavana, or cultivation of loving kindness. (Not surprisingly, it seems to me that most spiritual traditions have similar contemplations or prayers.) The meditation begins by fostering love for oneself, then a friend, then a stranger, then an enemy, then the whole world. In my experience it is deeply transformational as well as gently nourishing, no matter what state you are in when you begin. You can find a led Metta Bhavana meditation on CD and MP3 on the amazing Buddhist meditation and resource website, Wildmind. (One day I’ll record one myself, but I haven’t so far).
Wildmind was founded by a lovely colleague of mine, Bodhipaksa, a fellow Scot who I first met at the Glasgow Buddhist Centre 25 years ago when we were both rookies. He now lives in the USA with his young family and writes and teaches in addition to running Wildmind. His latest book – Living As A River – is being launched next month. Recently I’ve been guest blogging for Wildmind (so you’ll find a few of my videos and articles on the blog page) and Bodhipaksa has been so kind and helpful in supporting my move towards publishing my books and CDs.
I have written about love (one way or another) a lot. I suppose really understanding what love is all about is the core of my practice and inspiration. Afterall, I have it on good authority that love is a pretty important thing. Once, when Jamie was sitting in his highchair as a baby, I said to him jokingly, “Oh Jamie, what is the meaning of life?” Hardly able to talk at that age, he answered clearly and emphatically, “Love.” – A baby Buddha!
One of my first articles ever published was for the Buddhist magazine, Dharma Life. It’s my story and thoughts on maternal love – having not long become a mother to said baby Buddha. I’d noticed how spiritually minded people were mixed up about what non-attachment means (still one of my favourite topics) and I was extolling us to embrace our love even if it means we also experience loss. Wildmind still carries this article on their blog page, so here’s the link.
And here’s me talking to Nick Williams of www.inspired-entrepreneur.com again (see last week’s blog). This time, he is asking me about the principle of non-attachment and I explain what I think it really means. I quote William Blake’s poem. For me it captures the spirit of non-attachment and unconditional love: “He who binds himself to a joy doth the winged life destroy; But he who kisses the joy as it flies, lives in eternity’s sunrise.”
Well, writing about all this compassionate and love stuff has cheered me up no end! I guess “I love me when I’m deep in challenging process”, “I love me when I have writer’s block” and “I love me when I’m writing inspiring stuff about love” Just a little tenderness does the trick…
September 4, 2010 | Categories: inner guidance, inspirational coaching, intuition, meditation, metaphysics, metta bhavana, Nick Williams, Raw and Real, spiritual coaching, spiritual intelligence, Wildmind | Tags: calming emotions, Eckharte Tolle, guided meditation, how to love and let go, Inner experience, inner wisdom, inner world, inspiration, intuition, love, maternal love, meditation, meditation CDs, metaphysics, Nick Williams, Non-attachment, self help, spiritual guidance, spiritual intelligence, spirituality, stopping bad habits, The Power of Now, Wildmind | 2 Comments