I am delighted to announce the launch of a creative collaboration with my dear friend – Hay House author and TV presenter – Dawn Breslin.
Dawn has been a leading light in the field of personal transformation and coaching for the last 20 years, and her newest venture – ‘Harmonizing: Mindful Life Design’ – is a pro active well being and lifestyle design system to help us live life in the now.
Dawn’s vision is to see ‘inner wellbeing and balance ’ being valued as part of our overall well being psyche; with Harmonizing coaches working alongside massage therapists, nutritionists, yoga teachers and personal trainers in gyms and spas worldwide.
So I was thrilled when Dawn asked me to be Harmonizing’s mindfulness expert! And of course I said yes!
This month, I’ve written a feature on Mindfulness – Pause, Breathe, Notice – for Dawn’s beautiful online magazine, Harmony.
Harmonizing is also hosting my brand new 4 week online mindfulness and meditation course – Mindfulness For Beginners. Here I am telling you a little more about it:-
Harmonizing Life Review Retreat
At the beginning of March, Dawn is guiding a deeply nurturing Life Review Retreat in Scotland, and I’ll be there teaching the mindfulness module at the beginning of the retreat.
To sign up to receive Harmony magazine free every month, or for more info on the mindfulness course and/or Harmonizing retreat, go to Dawn’s website:-
Hot off the press – my episode as the guest on the Amit Kainth TV Show!
Amit is asking me about inner wisdom – Does everyone have inner wisdom? How do we tell inner wisdom from other, less helpful, inner voices? How do we access inner wisdom? And I guide a short experience of consulting our inner wisdom.
Here is the full recording of the show which was aired on Sky TV channel Star Plus in July.
For me, 2015 started with much excitement as I began printing out the manuscript of the book I have been writing for the last nine months – Diving for Pearls: Discovering Inner Wisdom – new book from Maggie Kay. The pages were literally rolling out of the printer on the stroke of midnight, much to my delight at having completed it.
In fact, I watched the new year London fireworks on TV with the first few chapters in one hand and my wonderful husband Pat’s hand in the other, buzzing because I had just managed to finish writing my first good draft that evening. I had been aiming to complete my book by the end of the year, but had given myself some licence to go over that if necessary. When I realised I was nearly there on the morning of the 31st, however, I went all out to get it done in time for the dawn of 2015, forgoing meals and typing with happy fervour.
At Pat’s suggestion, we read out a chapter to each other before bed in the wee hours. I hadn’t shared my book with anyone before so was thrilled that he absolutely loved it and can’t wait to read it all. I feel so supported by Pat who has been nudging me to get on with book writing for years. And now I’ve finally done it!
Things took an interesting turn on New Year’s day when our Jeep broke down while food shopping in the neighboring village. Yet, even that was somewhat charmed because a lovely young farmer man with typical practical confidence and know-how spent an hour trying to start it – a bearded angel in oily jeans and a pick-up truck. I had actually put out a prayer for a mechanical angel to show up, and he did!
Despite his good-willed attempts, this angel didn’t manage to get the Jeep going, bless him, but my sister Katy, who lives in the village, kept me company at her house and supplied me with tea while we waited for my vehicle recovery service. (She also bought the helpful young man some bottles of beer as a thank you which he appreciated). As I was there, I helped Katy get some boxes into her attic and she passed on to me some lovely clothes that she no longer needed.
The recovery guy got the Jeep started first time with the help of some injector fuel (or something – I don’t quite understand) and an enormous set of jump leads, and I was able to drive home. Pat was waiting to help me unpack the shopping, having been tipped off by Katy by phone that all was well.
So, although it was dark and raining by the time I got back and things hadn’t at all gone according to plan that day, I was left feeling totally blessed, supported and loved by beautiful caring people – whether strangers or family.
I actually kind of enjoyed the whole adventure, and am reminded that if we meet ‘adversity’ with that spirit of love and acceptance, we can have fun and encounter much goodwill and human kindness along the way.
As I have just been explaining in my new book, Diving for Pearls, I nearly always find the silver lining in any clouds that come my way these days. I put this down to the clarity and positivity that my experience of meditation brings into my heart, mind and soul. The awareness – or mindfulness as it is often called – generated by meditation gives you the opportunity to respond creatively to things that happen to you and draw good fortune to you. This means that you can truly be master of your own universe and encourage things to turn out for the best.
If you are thinking about learning to meditate or having some support with an existing practice, I have a wonderful homestudy online meditation course available which results in a qualification as an accredited Thrivecraft Meditation Practitioner.
This easy-going four week course gives you tips and support as well as a thorough introduction to four fantastic meditation techniques that foster mindfulness, positivity, manifestation power and inner wisdom. Simply watch the videos, listen to the audios and try out the guidelines I am laying out for you.
As a special encouragement to help you establish your new meditation rhythm early in the new year, I have decided to offer this course at 25% off until the 31st January 2015.
To claim your 25% discount, click on ‘enter promotional code’ on the Eventbrite booking page, and enter the code newyearoffer – this will reduce the quoted course price by 25%.
So what are you waiting for? Click right here to find out more and have a sparkling start to 2015.
Happy New Year!
Thrivecraft Meditation
Practitioner Certificate
With Maggie Kay
Online home study course – 4 wk
Thorough, enjoyable, relaxed and friendly
instruction and practice in meditation
Thrivecraft Practitioner Certificate
Principles * Technique * Preparation * Practice
Suitable for experienced and new meditators alike
Four meditation techniques taught and guided
Talks on related topics
Home practice instruction
Participant experiences, comments and Q&As
Two hours of video per week/ meditation (approx)
Links to bonus videos
Written materials (e-documents)
Meditation Practices Covered:
Mindfulness of Breathing
Development of Loving Kindness
Ah / Om Manifestation
Ask Your Inner Wisdom
Week 1. Mindfulness
What is meditation, introduction to practitioner course, posture for meditation, what is mindfulness, mindfulness of breathing meditation explained, guided mindfulness of breathing practice.
Week 2. Loving Kindness
Q&A on mindfulness, higher consciousness with meditation, loving kindness meditation explained, guided loving kindness practice.
Week 3. Manifestation
Q&A on loving kindness, hinderances to meditation, antidotes to hinderances, principles of manifestation, Ah/Om manifestation meditation explained, guided Ah/Om manifestation practice.
Week 4. Inner Wisdom
Q&A on Ah/Om manifestation, what is inner wisdom, Ask Your Inner Wisdom meditation explained, guided Ask Your Inner Wisdom practice, where to go from here.
The Thrivecraft Practitioner Certificate is a prerequisite
for the Thrivecraft Meditation Teacher Certificate
Thrivecraft is an Approved Training Provider
Accredited by the IICT
……………………………………………………………………………
For more information and to book the
home study online audio/video course
click orange button below:
to claim your 25% discount
enter the promotional code newyearoffer
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
In this video extract from meditation practitioner course, below, Maggie Kay describes the benefits of meditation.
In the course of researching my existing material for my forthcoming book, I came across some interesting video chats with the very lovely and fascinating, Nick Williams. So, I thought I would share some…
Nick is a much loved author (his first book is called The Work We Are Born to Do), Coach and broadcaster, sharing fantastic inspiration, particularly to entrepreneurs and within the business sector.
I was amazed to realise that we filmed these videos almost five years ago – just at the beginning of my adventure connecting with some great people via social media and making films of our chats.
In fact, it was Nick who told me about the nifty Flip camera which I subsequently got for myself and have filmed dozens of films on since. (Note, we hadn’t quite mastered the sound at this stage, so it is not the best sound quality).
In this pair of videos, I am asking Nick how he integrates his spiritual life into his practical, business life.
Today started with big guns. It is THE day when I’d written and circled the word WRITING in my diary. A week or so before, with a genuine, happy, loud fanfare of celebration, I’d already announced the great news that I’d won a writing scholarship and was about to embark on writing my first book.
I woke early after nearly three weeks of Easter holiday lie-ins and prepared to drive my son Jamie into college. Making the packed lunch and all went smoothly and I even had time to write my ‘morning pages’ (a new practice to support my book writing) before Jamie requested that I iron his trousers.
Jamie seemed to be in ‘up and at it’ spirit too and asked that we get to college early for a change. We set off ahead of schedule and had one of the quickest journeys in we’ve ever had. Not a single vehicle crossed us as we travelled through the country lanes to the main road, and certainly no sign of the horses, tractors and school traffic that we usually have to negotiate. The sun was shining and the spring scenery breathtaking. We duly arrived 15 minutes early – a first.
And so by 9.15am I was back home again. This was IT! I took my place in the conservatory, laptop at the ready, and communed with my inner guidance. Quite plausibly, my guidance suggested that I listen to my inner wisdom meditation and write from there. Sounded like a lovely idea. Why not?
Strangely, my meditation was a bit stifled. I didn’t really receive a clear message, just something mumbly about inner treasure. Fair enough, I created a file on my laptop called Book on Inner Treasure and started to write in a new document titled Why I Want to Write this Book.
A hundred and fifty mediocre words squeezed out of me. (I didn’t like them. I didn’t connect with them.) And then I dried up completely…
I noticed that my mouth was dry, energy dropping, heart sinking, and stomach knotting. There was an increasing pressure on my head and it was beginning to ache. I couldn’t think straight. I had no ‘juice’, no inspiration. Why DID I want to write this book? I couldn’t remember. “Oh my God I have a whole book to write and I don’t know what to say! I can’t recall what I want to write about, how, why, who for – anything!”
Memories of how I used to feel the day before exams played out in my mind. I was a keen student and always did well, but the day before exams, I often had a meltdown, doubting myself, going to my mum in tears telling her I was going to fail. She would reassure me that it didn’t matter, and knowing she loved me anyway gave me permission to fail. Having gained that permission, I felt free to do well or not to do well, and that meant I relaxed and did very well indeed.
So today, it seemed like I was experiencing that old performance anxiety again. I have been approaching this great occasion – the writing of my book – for about seven years. During that time there have been three or four near misses when I’ve got very close to getting on with the writing. But it never actually happened – all for plausible enough reasons, but sometimes I taunt myself about it. Can I really do it? Can I really actually write a book?
Today, all that self-doubt and all that uncertainty was back – right there in the pit of my stomach, right there sitting on my head like a ton weight. The feelings got so strong that I had an overwhelming urge to go and lie down. It was a desire to go unconsious, not to face the feelings, to pull the duvet over my head. In the end there was nothing to do but seccumb to sleep and I went to bed and slumbered for a short while.
So, from one point of view, my grand start to writing this book has been rather unpleasant. Fortunately, a bigger, wiser part of myself was looking on compassionately.
That wiser part of me understood what was happening and was curious, tender and patient. “Well, that’s intriguing”, she said. “I suppose it is not surprising that your shadow side will present itself just when you are on the threshold of breaking through into something so big. You are at your point of power, and this is what happens.” “It is good to remember that often the real creative juice and inspiration is to be found in the very shadow that you are resisting, the feelings that you don’t want to feel. There will be some gold in this…”
A very brief nap was enough to break the empasse and ease the tension a little, but I still felt flat and foggy. I made myself some lunch, then confided my troubles to my best friend and husband. Hugely wise and supportive, he also understood why I was feeling the way I was, and encouraged me to relax and do what felt right for the rest of the day. A hug and a few tears released me from my paralysis and allowed me to at least make some decisions for the day. I opted to go ahead and collect my new meditation CDs from the printer and pop in on a relative in hospital nearby on the way back as planned. And so that’s what I did.
Driving through more beautiful country lanes in the spring sunshine, my mind cleared. I reflected that two years ago I was embarking on the creation of my meditation CD and that the much anticipated first session at the recording studio was really slow and difficult.
The Jeep had overheated on the journey there and I had to arrange recovery to take me home after my session in the studio. I was late, flustered, pre-occupied and definitely not in the zone. After several hours, all we had managed to achieve was setting up the recording equipment and balancing the sound.
It took two more days in the studio to complete the recording – one day to record 38 minutes of live meditation and another day to make editing decisions together. There there were many further hours of painstaking tweaking back at home and many more for my sound engineer to mix in the music and master the tracks just perfectly. It took six months altogther before I was holding the finished product in my hand.
And yet, there I was today, collecting the second edition of my meditation CD, knowing that dozens of friends, family, clients and colleagues were eagerly awaiting them, and that many, many more could benefit from them. I have the experience of knowing how satisfying it is to complete a work like this and am delighted with the finished product.
Recalling the process of the CD production, I was reminded that sometimes when we set out to create something, there can be a difficult beginning. There can be some inertia to overcome before the positive momentum gets underway. So I took heart at this – after all, I am just at the beginning of my book creation journey. My spirits were also lifted by the poetic synchronicity that my CDs were ready on the very day that I started to write my book.
The day had turned around. On the way back home, I had a pleasant visit with my relative who is recovering well and was in the most amazing, peaceful cottage hospital overlooking the Teign estuary – the view from her bed alone is deeply therapeutic.
By the time I got home, I felt encouraged to go for my evening run, something that had felt impossible to contemplate in my shut-down, energy-less state earlier in the day. Running is a new practice for me – something I have taken up in parallel with book writing – so I have faced similar challenges whilst getting under way.
On the first day, my running was slow, short and laboured. I felt like I was dragging around a big heavy sack of a body. The second day was similar, though I managed to run twice as far. Likewise on the third. On the fourth day, now running four times as far as the first, my stride felt light – I actually enjoyed it! However, on the fifth day, for some inexplicable reason I dropped back to running only as far as on the third day, and the whole thing was a bit of an ordeal.
Today, the sixth day, I ran as far as the fourth day again. So, it really has been a case of four steps forward, two steps back, and one step forward again. “But hey”, I thought to enourage myself along, “look at the upside. That’s 400% better than a week ago! And I’m feeling the benefits, even if I’m only staggering half way around the village. I am sure that getting out every day and moving my body has added to quite an uplift in my happiness, energy and general well being.”
And the irony is, that having done all that – got myself on the ‘must write my book’ hook and taken myself off back off again – that when I came in from my run, all I wanted to do was get onto the laptop and write!!
My big, wise self was right – the juicy creativity is right there within the shadow that I was resisting – and THAT is what I want to write about. The reason I want to write the book is to share tips and experience on how to put wisdom and inspiration into practice. I don’t want to just spout theory, or tell stories to illustrate my points, but to describe in real-time, nitty gritty, intimate detail what it is like to apply that wisdom and inspiration and move through the ups and downs joyfully and easily.
The biggest irony of today is that the previous blog I posted on my website is called Trusting the Tides of Inspiration. It is all about how to trust your intuition to do or not do things, to be natural and not to push. So how do I square that all away with ‘pushing’ through my inertia, confusion, self doubt and resistance today?
Well, the thing is, I didn’t push. I didn’t force. When I did ‘try’ too hard earlier this morning, I ended up with pressure in my head and and irresistable desire to sleep.
Things turned around when I wisely and compassionately acknowledged what was going on, confided in a loved one, let myself receive reassurance, and gave myself permission to trust that I knew best and could follow what was really good for me to do.
Instead of pushing, I softened and opened. Yes, I kept my intention and purpose in mind, but I wasn’t harsh and insisting about how to go forward. Instead I became curious about what was resisting and invited that part of me into the equation. I teach exactly the same principle in meditation practice. We set our intention – the focus of the meditation – and if we get side tracked, we lovingly acknowledge what is wanting to take our attention away, and include it in the meditation.
That is why I begin guiding meditation by including all the things we can hear, smell, taste and touch. And then the same with anything we are feeling or thinking. Rather than resisting or denying or resenting any ‘distractions’ from our focus, we welcome them all into our awareness. It is like getting all the passengers on the bus before it sets off.
On the run today, I gently LEANED IN to the experience of feeling tired and wanting to stop rather than PUSHING THROUGH. This gave me a soft, flexible strength – made pliable by understanding, tenderness and warmth. Just like the tree is made stronger by the sap running through the trunk, allowing it to bend and yield in the wind, likewise a compassionate curiousity and inclusion allows us to flex rather than break.
And when we bounce back – like the tree trunk finding it’s natural upright position after being bent in the storm – the energy comes naturally and effortlessly. In my case, after my run, an incessant stream of two thousand or so words flowed easily through my fingers into the laptop in the course of an hour.
And I’ve learned one very important practical lesson today – when I write and circle the word WRITING into my diary, it denotes a day to do whatever feels right to get myself into a natural, relaxed, inspired state of heart and soul, body and mind. It doesn’t necessarily mean that I will write actual words. The words will come if I clarify my intention and then relax. Just like with meditation, if I lovingly include whatever is attempting to estrange me from my natural flow, the book will write itself.
Will these words make it into my book? Well maybe they will, but it really doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I feel whole and free and satisfied, and just a little bit clearer on why I want to write a book in the first place!
Having just navigated my way through a few days of (rare for me) ‘down time’, its got me thinking…
What really helps when you are feeling down?
Well, the starting point is simply this:
1. Accept how you are feeling.
The energy we put into resisting our feelings when difficult emotions are bubbling under the surface is incredible. Instead, we keep ourselves zombie-like – plodding along in a low-grade half-life – not happy, but not engaging with what’s going on either.
Our habit of blaming ourselves can mean that we’d rather remain in a state of brittle denial. We can’t admit to ourselves that we feel this way as we would judge ourselves for being so. It is better to pretend that we are okay.
But if we can just surrender for a few moments – really allow ourselves to feel how we feel – yes we feel the pain more fully, but we also begin to let in a little love and tenderness. Much like we would if we were giving attention to a friend who was having a hard time.
Rather than being lost in this no-man/woman’s-land, it is better if we can NAME what we are feeling. Naming it means that we are no longer subsumed by it. Part of us is now standing outside and looking in, and we can feel some compassion for ourselves.
And having accepted how we are, we have the option of turning towards something more positive.
2. Take ONE tiny step.
When we are feeling down, everything can feel overwhelming. We don’t WANT to do anything to help ourselves. It’s all too much.
So my suggestion is this – choose ONE thing from the list below. Just one. One thing that appeals a little bit…
* have a bath
* go for a walk
* make a fresh juice or a wholesome soup
* listen to a guided meditation
* get closer to nature / go outside
* confide in a good friend
* clean and tidy up
* read something inspiring
* count your blessings
* have a nap
* hang out with positive people
* enjoy some exercise
* listen to uplifting music
* pray to receive support
* do something to help someone else
* channel inner guidance
* reflect on your good qualities
* make love or have a cuddle
* look for beauty in everything
* find the hidden gem/lesson /meaning in your issue
3. Take another step
What you will probably find is that once you’ve taken one step, you feel inclined to take another. And some positive momentum builds from there.
For example, this morning, still feeling a wee bit under par, I decided to do one thing nice thing for myself – have a bath.
That prompted me to read some inspiring words from a book while the bath was running. After my bath I did a little light housework and made a fresh juice for breakfast.
It is a bright day and I could hear the church bells ringing, so I went for a walk, pausing at the church door to listen to the congregation singing a hymn.
On the way home I popped in at our caravan in a nearby field and told it out loud how wonderful it is and how much I love it.
During my walk, all these ‘how to lift yourself up’ ideas came to me, culminating in the inspiration to write this blog. My hope is it might support you too if you are feeling less than wonderful today.
4. Find the hidden gem
There’s always a nugget of gold buried in our difficult emotions. Our feelings are trying to tell us something, bring our attention to something that will open understanding and meaning to a situation or experience.
I reckon the hidden gem in my ‘down time’ these last few days has been a) the need to rest and restore at the end of a very busy, productive year b) the opportunity to release some grief from the past (see below) and c) the prompt to write this blog and share something that might be supportive to others going through a bit of ‘down-time’.
This is my Facebook post about my hidden gems:-
“Emerging out of 5 day inner journey. Started with feeling of ‘flatness’, low energy, tinge of unhappiness, lack of customary inspiration/creativity, desire for more sleep, not wanting to do anything or communicate much…
Felt curious – was this just me being tired at the end of many months of huge activity and productivity? A bit weary after 10 days of tending to son Jamie being acutely unwell? Raw after an emotional sort-out with my husband Pat (the resolution of which was postponed around Jamie’s illness). Was astrology / weather getting me down?
Counted my blessings that there wasn’t much in the diary and I could potter on with undemanding filing and accounts. Then yesterday, it dawned on me – memories of Decembers caring for ill, dying and bereaved loved ones in years gone past, and not being too well myself.
So it seems I was just releasing a bit of seasonal grief and heartbreak, perhaps triggered by Jamie being ill again. Felt better as soon as I realised this. Better to feel the raw grief rather than the depressive blanket of nothing that holds it out of awareness.
Reminded that its healthy to feel these things, lovingly acknowledge buried feelings, that we only feel these things when we are ready to, that I must be experiencing a deeper healing around these issues than ever before.
Thinking of going along the Movement Medicine dance class this evening – a beautiful way to honour, heal and release any anguish still stored in the body. That and I think I’ll put up the Christmas tree now – to remind myself of all the many, many loving, celebratory, happy memories that Decembers have given me too…”
5. Love is the answer
Giving a little attention where it is due is a profoundly loving act. That’s all we are doing when we honestly accept how we are feeling – truly loving ourselves just the way we are.
It gives us the momentum to take a positive step, and maybe even another, and another…
And opens up the possibility of gaining some wisdom and insight from our experience, some meaning, some letting go.
And so I’ll leave you with this song sung by Aloe Blacc, Love is the Answer.
This was shared by my Facebook friend today, the very lovely Mark Bajerski. (Check out his wonderful biography, Diary of an Accidental Psychic.)
Love is the answer, that’s for sure, and we need only begin with one tiny step to let it back in to our life.
Hot off the press from our Thrivecraft – Wake Up Your Wisdom – workshop last weekend, here is a video extract teaching the deep principles at work when we apply the Law of Attraction to manifest the things we want in our life.
During this relaxed workshop you can give your hard-working thinking mind a rest! Instead, you will learn how to easily tap into your own deep wisdom to find brilliant answers and solutions at every turn. But don’t be deceived by the retreat-like experience of the day – this stuff is powerful!
With a mixture of interactive practical exercises, talks and guided contemplations, you will be shown how to hone your hunches into reliable intuition you can depend on. You will learn how to make the secret law of attraction work for you and practice a powerful ‘make it happen’ technique that manifests your hopes into reality.
There will be opportunities to ask questions and give your comments along the way. And there will be plenty of time to connect with other participants – typically a calibre group of open minded professionals, creatives, innovators and conscious entrepreneurs.
You will leave feeling equipped to employ a whole new dimension of yourself – your own inner wisdom – in your life, love, work and business. With the constant wise support of your inner guidance and intuition, things will never be the quite the same. Just see what happens next!
You know about the Law of Attraction and have long been practising positive thinking and affirmations.
Whether you were switched on in the 60s when you learned to meditate, during the 80s reading Louise Hay’s ‘You Can Heal Your Life’ or relatively recently watching the DVD of ‘The Secret’, you are familiar with the universal principle that we “create our own reality”.
But have you REALLY got the hang of it? Are you seeing all the positive developments you would like in your life?
There’s a subtle principle at the heart of manifestation practises that makes all the difference. It’s something that took me a while to grasp, and I’ve been studying and practising these arts for over 30 years!
The key is to be truly RECEPTIVE as well as positively focussed. As well as ‘asking’ for what we desire to come into our life, it is important to allow ourselves to really ‘receive’ it.
If we are too narrow, tense or controlling, about the details of how or when our dreams will come to fruition, we risk repelling what we desire. We must be relaxed and open for it to truly ‘land’.
There’s a formula (more of a metaphor, really) that I like to use which is
100% intention + 100% surrender = manifestation
In other words, as well as being clear, committed and focussed on your desired outcome (100% intention), it is equally important to let go of any attachment to what may or may not happen (100% surrender).
Letting go of attachment releases tension. YOU don’t have to figure out how or when it’s going to happen. YOU don’t have to control or manipulate events to make it happen. Instead, you surrender to a higher intelligence in the universe (God, karma, nature, destiny, law of attraction – however you experience it) and simply put your trust in the process.
It may seem like a paradox – to be 100% intentional and 100% surrendered at the same time – but it’s not. An attitude of bright hope, eagerness and positivity combined with relaxation, faith and receptivity is completely magnetic!
The true power of manifestation lies in our ability to lift our energy, our spirit, our vibration to the level of what we desire. Once we do that, people, events and opportunities match that energy and mirror it right back to us.
If it’s a promotion you seek – imagine yourself happy in your new job. If it’s a soul mate – feel what it’s like to be fulfilled in love. If it’s a more prosperous way of living – visualise living in that bigger house, driving that new car.
Once you inhabit what you seek in your imagination (as though it’s already happening) with consistent energy and focus – and at the same time let go of tension and control – you create the optimum environment for it to show up in your life.
Rachel Elnaugh (Dragons’ Den) discusses the art of manifestation with Srimati
The ‘art of manifestation’ penny finally dropped with me listening to the fabulous Abraham-Hicks teachings. (One of my all time favourite spiritual teachings)
Abraham-Hicks explain that it is not really a matter of ‘manifesting’ in the sense of creating things out there and moving towards them. Rather, we simply create the energetic magnetic field within ourselves, keep a relaxed focus and allow those things (that have already been created simply by our wishing them) to move towards us – something they will inevitably do.
It is a question of ALLOWING – not earning, not winning, not acquiring – simply resonating with and then ALLOWING.
Another of my favourite teachings comes via Wayne Dyer in the form of the Ah Meditation. Like the Abraham-Hicks teachings, this practice has long been integrated into my coaching and workshops.
The Ah meditation is a perfect way to develop 100% intention and 100% surrender.
It is a simple, short and powerful manifestation technique that will catapult your efforts into hyperdrive!
In the following videos I am teaching the Ah meditation at the Entrepreneurs Find Inner Wisdom event (attended by Rachel above) a couple of years ago, followed by a guided practice.
Please be my guest and let me know how you get on with it…
Sometimes! As I explain in this video extract from my Entrepreneurs Find Inner Wisdom event (attended by Rachel Elnaugh, former Dragon from BBC TV’s Dragons’ Den).
In early June 1982, I found myself sitting bolt upright in bed. It was the middle of the night and I thought I was dreaming, but here I was with my eyes wide open and it was still happening.
The eerie star-like essence kept on flowing from under the bedroom door, along the ground and now formed a person-sized pillar at the end of my bed. I knew it was Dad. I could feel him.
As I stared at the essence, I was enveloped in a reassuring cloak of love and security, and for the first time since he’d died a few days ago, that awful, brittle fear melted away. It seemed that Dad’s spirit had deliberately come to me to soothe me.
I became strangely peaceful and fell asleep.
My sister, Katy, was staying over, but didn’t stir. She was back with me in the attic bedroom we used to share as children.
Now an 18 year old teenager myself, the room was all mine. Katy had left home to get married six years before and since then I’d painted the walls chocolate brown and put a mattress on the floor under the alcove.
My mechanical genius boyfriend, John, had rigged up an extra speaker out of an old oil can so my ancient LP player would sound better.
We would burn incense and lay around listening to Genesis and Pink Floyd. It was the 80’s and there weren’t many other ‘hippies’ of our age, but we were happily retro together, feeling like we’d been born 10 years too late.
John was intense and keenly intelligent and didn’t seem to quite fit into our plain old Scottish backwater world. The music we loved was our religion – opening our consciousness to other dimensions and posing questions about the meaning of life.
More than one medium ventured that John had been a Tibetan Buddhist monk in his last life. Certainly his dark hair, broad face and slightly slanting eyes hinted of Tibetan, but he was all Scot in this life.
On my bedroom walls, the Donny Osmond and George Best posters had long been replaced by pictures of fairy goddesses and mythical creatures. And there was also a cut-out picture from a magazine I’d been given by a Hari Krishna in town one day.
What a Hari Krishna was hoping for in Paisley (a ‘seen better days’ town near Glasgow) is anyone’s guess, but for some reason I accepted his magazine and found one of the pictures in it to be strangely compelling. Up on the wall it went.
The image was of a ‘cycle of life’ – a depiction of an Indian man being born, aging and dying, drawn clockwise round the page like the numbers on a clock.
At the top he was a baby, then a toddler, then a child and then getting older and older until he died and became a baby again. I loved the exotic Indian poetry of the picture, and somehow it spoke to me even though I couldn’t put its meaning into words.
I so loved having my own space in the attic room away from it all. Although I had a happy family life, I relished time on my own.
If it hadn’t been for Dad’s poor health, I’d have moved into digs while I studied psychology at university in nearby Glasgow. But I wanted to stay at home and support Mum and Dad, especially now that both Katy and my older brother, Jim, had flown the nest.
It wasn’t an easy time with Dad in hospital, but Mum was a tower of strength. She worked full time (which involved extensive travel), looked after the house beautifully, honoured her singing engagements as best she could and spent most evenings visiting Dad.
But even Mum wasn’t invincible. In the winter of 1981 a grumbling health problem became acute and she was taken into hospital.
This led to Dad’s final hospitalisation too. His condition wasn’t good and he needed care. He certainly couldn’t manage without Mum.
The next few weeks were bleak. With Mum and Dad both in hospital, I felt very alone when I came down with a nasty flu.
Thankfully, this phase was short lived. I got better and Mum recovered well and was soon home again. Dad, however, never made it out of hospital.
The evening before he died, it happened that my brother, sister, and I were all visiting Dad together. Mum was delayed and would see him later on her own.
We found Dad restless and a slightly delirious. We hadn’t seen him like that before and were puzzled, but we didn’t guess what it meant. None-the-less, we all said goodbye with special tenderness. It was to be our last.
The next day, on the morning of 4th June 1982, Mum woke me in my attic bedroom with a call from downstairs. “I’ve just heard from the hospital”, she said, “Your Dad’s condition is deteriorating.”
Half way through the 20 minute journey to the hospital, I suddenly doubled up with an inexplicable pain across my body. It only lasted for moments, but felt like a signal.
When we arrived we were ushered into a waiting room. “I’m sorry to tell you”, the nurse said to my Mum gently, “your husband has just passed away”. Shock hit me like a great crashing wave.
My sister, Mum and I were shown to Dad’s bedside. The curtains were parted and I struggled to comprehend what I saw. He wasn’t there! My Dad was just not there!
Sure there was an inert shell that resembled what my Dad had been, but this was not my Dad! I had never seen a dead body before and now, in that instant, I understood that it is pure spirit alone that brings life to our bodies
I wasn’t drawn to the empty waxwork lying on his hospital bed. Instead I stood back and looked up. I could feel Dad all around us in the air.
It was as though I was breathing him, floating in him, drinking him. It was a draft of heady, intoxicating bliss. Dad was free, he was everywhere!
Back in the waiting room, the atmosphere of spiritual intensity was expanding until it filled every space. It was as though molecules of sublime gas were being pumped into the room until the density almost burst down the walls.
Dad’s love was all around us and he was flooding us with his presence. I looked out of the window, awestruck and suppressing an enchanted smile.
What I was experiencing now seemed more real than the talk and interaction that was going on around me. It was a like my camera lens on life had been re-focussed to a different dimension.
My ‘normal’ reality had receded to the background whilst a vivid supernatural reality was sharply present instead. I’d never known anything like it before and yet it seemed strangely familiar. It was wonderful. It was home.
Three little words – famously coined by Joseph Campbell – hold the key to a truly happy, fulfilled life.
Follow. Your. Bliss.
To follow you need to find the trail. Maybe you can’t exactly see what your final destination is, but you get a bit of the picture, a feeling, a general sense of direction.
And it is okay to take one step at a time and trust that the next step will be revealed. All you need do is ensure that you are still on the path of bliss, that each step feels good – even if you don’t know where it is ulitmately leading.
It is your bliss we are talking about. Not anyone else’s! And not what other people think should be yours. What sets you alight, turns you on, fills you with happiness?
And you don’t have to understand why you feel that way, justify your passion to yourself or anyone else, or know how your dreams will be achieved.
You came into the world with your own unique talents, interests and potential. Just stick to what you really love, trust what feels good and eventually it will all take shape.
And what is bliss? It is something deeper than just immediate gratification. It is an expansive feeling of rightness, truth, freedom, unfolding, fulfilment. It bubbles up from deep within.
Sometimes we choose what we think we want, but it does not really satisfy us. It feels hollow, like it hasn’t really hit the spot
If that’s the case, we are probably not truly following our inner guidance, but are compromising in some way (usually to please others, or because we think there’s no other option).
Bliss arises when you are attuned to your inner wisdom and are being guided by love rather than fear.
You are making choices that are satisfying and sustainable and that lead to more happiness and good choices – a positive spiral.
I explain more about how to step into this positive spiral in the following video clip – Which Voice In My Head Do I Trust? (My most watched video!)
So if you have a decision to make, take a few breaths and check in with yourself.
Make sure that you are feeling expansive, inspired and loving before you make your choice. That way you can be confident that you are on the right path to a happier, more fulfilling life.
Everyone is intuitive. It is part of you. It is just a matter of waking it up, excercising the ‘muscles’ and learning what signals to trust.
Think about it for a moment. Think about all those times you’ve had a hunch, a gut feeling or a sensation deep down that you just KNOW what’s right. That’s your intuition speaking to you.
Do you listen though? How often do you follow your inner promptings and let your intuition guide your decisions? Do you realise how much of a smoother ride you would have in life if you did?
The trouble is that we are not very schooled in how to find and use our intuition. These days, the emphasis is on our quick thinking rather than our deep knowing. This means that most of us are missing out on a fantastic natural method of getting the best from life.
How do you tap into your intuition?
Pause and take a few deep breaths.
Ask yourself what’s best.
Receive your answer.
It’s as simple as that!
Inner guidance, answers and solutions are literally a few breaths away.
The first trick is to REMEMBER to pause and ask at the outset.
Take 10
The best way to remember to pause and ask in the heat of your busy everyday life is to practise a little when things are quieter.
Just 10 quiet minutes a day will really help. Spend 10 minutes of every day sitting quietly by yourself – no TV, radio, phone, computer or interruptions – just you sitting down, relaxing, feeling your breath moving through your body.
If you are not accustomed to ‘taking 10’ like this, you will be amazed how refreshing it is and how good it makes you feel for the rest of the day.
It is good to find a regular spot in the day that works for you – like after your morning cuppa, on the train to work (providing you have earphones!), or sitting in the car when the kids are dropped off at school – and to incorporate it into your everyday routine.
Watch to find out how life gets better when we use our intuition…
Try my guided audio to tap into your inner wisdom…
Last week I was in London attending the book launch of Barefoot Doctor’s – The Message. It was a fantastic event hosted by my dear colleagues Imago People TV – a brand new TV based marketing portal for transformational teachers, evolutionaries and heart-centered thought leaders.
Jude Levy, Rachel Elnaugh and Katharine Dever (Imago founders)
I loved it! The theatre was full of sparkling, inspired, genuine friends and collaborators, gathered for this special occasion – the launch of Imago’s first book publication having recently signed Barefoot as Imago’s first ‘star’.
After his talk, Barefoot signed books and then we were transported to a Soho nightclub by a fleet of people-carriers where we had a trance-dance after party. The cocktails were flowing and Barefoot and his DJ friend led a pumping set. A brilliant way to end the night!
I began reading my copy of The Message this morning. Having heard Barefoot speak just a few days ago, the pages are alive with his voice and presence. I was taken right back to watching him on stage – yes with bare feet – talking from the heart without notes and SO eloquently.
And it’s juicy stuff – captivating and satisfying at such a deep level. It reminded me of when I first heard Buddhism taught so excellently by the funky, fresh, bright young guys at the Glasgow Buddhist Centre in the 1980s.
At the tender age of 19, I was awestruck at the meaning and magic being revealed to me. I was being given the ways and means to live a very blessed life – and although I no longer consider myself to be a Buddhist (prefering to be open to all forms of spiritual wisdom) – those early teachings have nourished me for decades.
And The Message – deeply infused with the Taoist wisdom that Barefoot draws from – describes the same universal principles of freedom, self-mastery and interconnectedness that is the essence of all untainted spiritual teaching.
This morning I am sitting in my conservatory back home in the beautiful Devon countryside, listening to the birds and the sound of our village church bells, watching the trees and shrubs bounce in the gentle wind. It is so peaceful after the hurly-burly of London…
Even although I lived in London for 16 formative years, I rarely strayed beyond the ‘urban village’ created by the Buddhist community I belonged to. And these days, I am very much a country bumpkin – an innocent – unused to the wiley ways of London living.
So when I realised that I’d got lost walking from my city hotel to the Barefoot event at Sadlers Wells Theatre, I had an attack of anxiety. I was lost and alone in the backstreets of Shoreditch, the opposite direction to where I should have been going ( must have been a homing instinct as I used to live in the east end).
Asking directions at a film studio, I was advised to retrace my steps all the way to the main road and catch a cab. It was going to take ages and I was already late! Arghh! Panic! But the bigger, wiser part of me was cool. “Don’t worry”, she said, “it’ll be okay. Just put out a prayer.”
“Please I’d like a taxi to show up for me now”, I thought , and sure enough, a black cab immediately appeared from around the corner to drop someone off right in front of me. I told the cabbie he was my angel and gave him a big tip. We made it to the theatre in time.
It was the second ‘kind assistance from strangers’ experience of my London trip. The first had come in the form of two incredibly sweet receptionists at the hotel who couldn’t do enough to help when I requested a change to a quieter room.
I had considered just putting up with the roaring traffic, but then thought, “Well why not just ask?” In the end my room was much nicer and twice the size of the first – and very quiet. “Hmmm, it’s good practice to simply ask for better things”, I reflected.
The next experience of the kindliness of strangers came a few hours later at the book launch. I pulled out my purse to pay for drinks and my payment cards were nowhere to be seen. For a few moments, panic swept through me “They’ve been stolen! How had that happened? How was I going to pay for my hotel? What do I need to do to cancel them and stop them being used?”
But somehow, even in the swirl of panic, part of me was chilled, loving, peaceful. Time slowed down. Although the bar was busy, the bar tender was patient and smiled sympathetically. A complete stranger standing next to me offered to pay my bill. In a few moments, all was well when I discovered my cards had simply fallen out of my purse into my bag. Phew! But how nice to have been held in my moment of anxiety by the care of others I didn’t even know.
However, the biggest ‘angelic intervention’ via strangers happened the following day when I was on my way to a client’s home for a day of coaching. In the night, I had knocked a glass of water over my Blackberry (Instant manifestation there too. In my half-sleep I thought, “Wouldn’t it be awful if I knocked my water on my Blackberry”, and it promptly happened! Be careful what you think about Srimati!). In the morning, my Blackberry wouldn’t work.
The dreadful realisation that I didn’t actually have my client’s full address or phone number written down anywhere soon overwhelmed me. I was relying on my Blackberry for all that information! Once again, complete panic! And then, once again, the bigger part of me was reassuring, amused, loving, and enjoying the adventure of it all. Something would work out. “Just be open to having some help, as with the taxi”, my inner wisdom said.
I set off. At least I knew the name and whereabouts of the apartment block. Maybe there would only be a few flats to choose from and I’d find her. But when I arrived at the address, I was gazing up at a huge tower block – with at least a hundred apartments! How was I going to track her down?
I asked a few residents but no-one seemed to know my client. I chatted with a friendly cleaner who was mopping the floor. He was sorry but he didn’t know her either. With me still feeling strangely peaceful despite the impasse, he melted into the moment with me and suddenly remembered that there was a concierge office for the estate just a short walk away. Maybe they could help.
They did and I was on time for my client. More importantly, with the backing of my calm, loving bigger self, I had navigated the problem without getting flustered and was still in great nick to conduct my coaching day.
To me these events are such a striking example of our ability to respond creatively even when something challenging is happening to us. If we are aware enough of that bigger, calmer, wiser loving self (even when another part of us is panicking) there is always a positive choice to make – even if its just to be open to the help of strangers when we are feeling alone and vulnerable.
I read somewhere recently, “Nothing happens by accident. It merely has a purpose that is not yet understood.”. I like that. I like the idea that whatever happens is for a purpose, even if it’s not what we want, and even if we are not consciously aware of it’s deeper purpose yet.
On reflection, I recognised that I had unconsciously created these circumstances during my London trip for a purpose. The purpose was to graphically demonstrate to myself that I deserve help, support and the best of things; that I am not alone and don’t have to struggle the hard way and that if I am stuck, even random strangers will help me if I only ask. That’s good stuff for an independent person like me to realise.
In this video, I am talking about the freedom of choice that comes from being able to tune in to our inner wisdom – our bigger, wiser self. Being awake to this allows us to calm down, take our time, make the right decisions, be open to the positive options available to us.
Its just as Barefoot describes in The Message –
“Because as soon as you can see all aspects of the manifest world – this world of people and machines, this world of nature, this world of planets, stars and galaxies, this world of infinite space, and this world of you – as an expression of the ineffable background presence, as the Tao throwing shapes on the dance floor of the universe, you are no longer fooled or perturbed by appearances.”
“So that no matter how thrilling or scary your circumstances in any given moment, no matter how scintillating or distracting the current configuration of details, you remain centered, referenced to and identified with the prime cause informing it all and are thus able to maintain equilibrium and perspective at all times. You are able to receive and process the endless incoming stream of information as an expression of absolute love, life and consciousness, as an expression of God or the Tao talking to you.”
So thank you Barefoot Doctor for inspiring me to write this blog this morning. It was a pleasure to meet you and to participate in your beautiful transmission of The Message.
In the last few days I’ve been reading a book by spiritual teacher Dr Wayne W Dyer called There is a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem. It’s great – so relevant, uplifting and re-assuring – and is awakening many creative thoughts within me.
Wayne first became a source of inspiration for me after my husband Pat introduced his work to me eight or nine years ago. During the 1990s, Wayne taught the Ah meditation – a manifestation practice that he’d learned from one of his Indian Gurus – and Pat and I have been passing it on to friends, colleagues and clients ever since our Thrivecraft days.
Last year, I explored the practice in depth at my Entrepreneurs Find Inner Wisdom event, held here in Totnes, Devon. This was filmed, but apart from posting the videos on my blog soon afterwards, I have not really made a point of publishing them. Despite this, I have noticed that often people find the videos searching for information on the Ah meditation, so perhaps it’s about time that I made them more available…
Having plucked Wayne’s book off my bookshelf recently (and realised it was gifted to me by my special guest at Entrepreneurs Find Inner Wisdom – former BBC TV Dragon and business mentor, Rachel Elnaugh) I took this as a sign that it was time to run the Ah meditation video series here on my blog.
So here you are, a series of six short videos on the Ah meditation to dip into. Do let me know what you think – and what results you get! Enjoy!
1. Manfestation – You are a magician!
2. Introducing the Ah Meditation – Background and How to
3. Questions on the Ah Meditation – Do You Have to Believe for it to Work?
4. Preparing to do the Ah Meditation – Guided Relaxation / Opening the Chakras
5. Practising the Ah Meditation – Guided Practice
6. Concluding the Ah Meditation – Guided Om Chanting
My finger was poised above the ‘post’ button when I stopped and decided to sleep on it. I’d just written my latest blog – an appreciation of my wonderful husband, Pat, the Holy Cornishman – but wanted to look it over again in the morning. The topic had come about because I’ve been curious for a while – who ARE the partners in the shadows of all these lime-lit colleagues I know so well? As well as this, I’d been thinking it was high time I celebrated the fantastic man who shares my life.
Coincidentally, fellow coach Cathy Dean (the Colourful Coach) was tweeting about how supportive her husband was. And so, we cooked up a plan to write concurrent blogs honouring our partners. Cathy’s is here, but mine didn’t make it at the time… http://colourfulcoach.wordpress.com/2010/10/01/my-lovely-husband-an-appreciation/
Pat and I had been in Cornwall for a week at our cliff top caravan overlooking the atlantic. We were due to stay for another few days, however, nature intervened – the toothache I’d had for a couple of days showed no sign of waning. Time to get home to Devon and visit the dentist! Only today, two weeks later, have I emerged from a dark tunnel of pain and treatment – the likes of which I rarely suffer – and am blinking in the light, wondering what it’s like out here in the big world.
Reading back over my unposted blog, it seems to belong to another lifetime! Its amazing how an intense experience (like being ill) can bend your perception of time. However, it still merits being published, especially since Pat has been such a total star at looking after me while I’ve not been well. So here it is, updated and revived for today.
Thinking about this topic has slowed up my writing. It made me want to get my nose out of my work for a change and enjoy some time with my lovely husband! And so Pat and I had some great little trips out while we were based in Cornwall – enjoying the annual Boscastle Festival, the amazing countryside and more than one Cornish pasty!
He is right here with me every day – inside this intimate bubble I call ‘my life’ – sharing the same duvet, drinking tea from the same kettle, wiping his feet on the same door mat. Pat and I spend huge amounts of time together (living and working together 24/7 as we mostly do), however, sometimes I forget to appreciate what an incredible partnership we enjoy, let alone what a miracle of creation he is in his own right!
There’s a psychological phenomenon called habituation. What it describes is the tendency to stop noticing what is familiar to you. Usual, everyday things become part of our background wallpaper and are no longer so visible. This applies to our relationships too. And so, like all of us, its easy for me to let my attention drift to more demanding things and take my beloved husband for granted.
I’m also a bit astrologically challenged when it comes to intimate relationships. For those of you in the know, I have five major planets ( yes five!) in Aquarius. An Aquarian trait is to so busy out there ‘saving the world’ that you can seem cool and aloof to your nearest and dearest. I generally experience myself as a warm, loving person, but I can relate to this tendency to overlook those closest to me whilst my attention is out there on the far horizon.
But every now and then I remember what a stunning man I have in my life. You’d think I would never forget because it took me long enough to find him! This treasure of a relationship came at the end of a long and ardous journey in the quest to find the right partner. Our amazing ‘finding true love’ experience inspired a whole strand of work and it wasn’t long before I was running Get Ready for Love workshops to help other people attract their ideal mate.
The other night, I remembered. Pat and I had been at our Cornwall caravan for a few days. We were cuddled up watching a romantic TV programme with a bottle of wine and I suddenly found myself moved to the core. Okay, I admit it, I’m one of those people who gets soppy after a couple of glasses of wine. I go all soft and heart-melty and amorous – no wonder he’s so pleased when I share a bottle of wine with him!
That night, Pat made a throw away comment about one of the TV characters being just like him. Suddenly, I piped up with emphatic passion “But you are so much warmer – a firey Cornishman with attitude!” And as I spoke those words I was sucked away to a vantage point where I could stand back really SEE him afresh – his strength of character, his bright mind, his quirky humour – and all the reasons why I love him so much.
BANG! a massive rush of emotion brought me to tears and I delivered a long, gushing love speech to him. Pat is one of those amazing, demonstrative men who oten tells me how much he loves me and is liberal with his hugs and compliments. And although I feel the same about him, I am more remiss in my expressions of affection. It takes a slug of wine and a good TV romance to wake me out of my complacency!
As I burbled uncontrollably that night, I love everything about him – the way he looks, the way he talks and the way he carries himself – just everything! One of my favourites is that he’s a blokey bloke – energetic and charismatic – yet is completely at home with his feminine side. He has all the other guys at the bar roaring with laughter and at the same time he’s deeply intuitive and more than a little psychic (which can be a bit unnerving at times, but jolly useful on the whole!)
Pat’s 6th sense is quick and penetrating. For example he always spots a dubious motive powering along a fool-hardy decision. It means I don’t get away with fooling myself about anything and I can kick up about that (a foolish ego trip does not like to be found out!) but I’m always grateful in the end. He has got used to making waves with his irrepressible truth detector. He sometimes calls it a curse, but I think it’s an astounding gift.
On the practical level, there’s something astonishing about how compatible we are. We ALWAYS like the same things, be it furnishings, music, books, countries, houses, clothes, cars, animals, you name it. Many’s the time we’ve both wondered towards each other in a shop, excitedly carrying the same item to show the ther. And we share a Zen-minimalist-tidyness (just try coming round and dumping your coat somewhere other than the cloakroom!) which makes living in a small space like a caravan easy for us. There’s a real grace and ease between us – like a wordless, flowing, ballet dance.
But the compatibility doesn’t stop there. We MEET each other on every level – intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, physically – something I’ve never experienced in one partner package before. Sometimes I say to Pat that I’ve been in love with him my whole life. One of the keenest things I sensed when we met was that we’d been together in previous lives. It’s as though there’s always been a Pat shaped gap in my life until we found each other again in 2002. If you’ve not read it already, here’s a magazine article telling the story of how we met…
However, if I had to pick one thing about Pat that sums up why he is so fantastic to be with it would be this – his PRESENCE. What I mean is that he is switched on, awake, conscious, aware, paying attention. Never pre-occupied with other things (like me!) he is present in every moment – hearing what I say, sensing what I feel, observing what needs to happen next.
He is a man of body and soul as well as heart and mind , alive to his total experience all the time. When I talk to him he gives me his fullest, deepest, loving attention. When he touches me, he touches me with with his whole energetic being, not just his body. Believe me, I know how rare this is! The man is a phenomenon!
Of course we’ve had our intense run-ins over the years (we are quite a match in the adamant department too!), but what is fantastic about us is our mutual commitment to get to the bottom of what’s gone off kilter, what it is our conflict is trying to show us. We accept the principle of taking responsibility for ourself and not blaming the other, even if we can’t always practice it in the heat of the moment. Eventually we get there, even if it takes a day or two. I always say if there’s the ability and willingness to communicate, most relationship problems can be overcome.
A Course in Miracles http://www.amazon.co.uk/Course-Miracles-Foundation-Inner-Peace/dp/1883360269/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1287440966&sr=1-1 is a wonderful spiritual workbook that makes an emphatic point about relationships – our partner (or any other person we ever encounter, for that matter) is ALWAYS being a mirror, showing us something about US that we need to see and understand. It is pointless to blame the other person for making us happy or unhappy. We can only look to ourselves – to our own responses to how our partner is behaving – and learn from that. We should never seek to change another. Happiness can only come from within.
So, perhaps that’s a good note to wind up on. Hmm, but you might be curious to see the man himself? Well, you can. Here’s he is, talking on video in his Love of Spiritual Man series. In this clip he’s talking about what makes our relationship special. After all, he should know!
As it turns out, I’ve not only had weekday mornings to myself, but the entire weekend too! I’m sort of pinching myself. One minute I was tired, depleted and overrun with domestic demands, and the next – acres and acres of time and space and inspiration to write. The family’s happy, the sun’s shining and the retro caravan work space is all set up. Wow!
Well, I did ask for it. It just shows you what the power of intention can do. The suddeness and scale of the change can be startling, though. It strikes you how powerful you really are – that you can make anything happen just by wishing it! Of course there’s a little more to it than that. There is an art to using intention to bring about what you desire.
I made this video about it last summer called Attracting and Creating the Life that You Want. Not surprisingly, it’s my most viewed film! Take a look if you like…
More recently, at the Entrepreneurs Find Inner Wisdom event I ran this Spring, I also recorded a series of films about the art of manifestation. I taught an ancient practice, called the Ah meditation, that powers up our ability to bring into being that which we truly wish for in life. The whole series is on recent pages of this blog that you can have a look at, but here’s a shortcut to the video of me teaching the practice itself.
Achieving the results that I’d ‘put out for’ so easily was a little scary. So much so that I caught myself trying to subtely sabotage them talking to my 15 year old son yesterday – “Are you sure you want to stay out another night with friends, Jamie? Wouldn’t it be a good idea to come home, have a good meal, a decent bed, a shower? I can always take you out again tomorrow….”
However, mostly I’ve been doing quite well with my saying “no!” practise (to curb my habit of over-giving). Jamie did call me midweek (when he’s usually with his dad) to ask if he and his friends could come and stay at the wild field for the night. It was exactly the same request I’d fallen down the hole with last Sunday when I failed to say no. This time I noticed. I saw the hole coming and I didn’t even fall into it! “No, sorry, Jamie. Your friends can come and stay at the weekend but not in the week when I’m working” – See? Easy.
And so it seems I’m bearing the fruit of my efforts. It’s been the most glorious, peaceful, lovely few days. It’s allowed me to realise that I’m in love with the huge skies here at the wild field. Day and night it is ever-changing and beautiful – the light, the clouds, the moon. I keep wanting to photograph the sky, capture the unique beauty moment by moment, but its impossible. The best thing is to simply go out and gawp, especially at night when the vast canopy of stars above is simply breath-taking.
This is why we are here. Somehow, living like this in caravans in the big outdoors connects me so strongly with my rightful place in nature. As a coaching client described it this week, it allows me to feel “in my skin”. I’m getting fit and brown and can feel the grass between my toes and the breeze on my face. I can breath deeply and enjoy every mouthful I take and every movement I make.
In the first week here, sleepless and sobbing with exhaustion, my husband, Pat, could not console me. Instead he called me outside and took my hand beneath the sparkling night sky. “Look”, he said, pointing up. Gazing into the vastness was a perfect, wordless reminder of what I truly am – an infinite spiritual being tasting a moment of human form in an endless universe of ever-changing miraculous beauty. What could possibly be wrong?
It didn’t take long to try out my saying “No!” practice (my new device to help me overcome habitual over-giving). Last night, my 15 year old son, Jamie, was out in town. At first he said he’d probably stay over with friends, but at nearly bedtime, he phoned and asked if I could collect him and two friends (and his friend’s bike!) to stay with us at the wild field for the night instead.
Fetching the boys would involve a 40 minute round trip, converting Jamie’s caravan lounge (also my daytime writing space) into a sleeping area, rustling up food for three hungry teenagers, putting up with their noise and carry on until they fell asleep and then doing it all in reverse in the morning.
The night before I’d hosted a BBQ and was relishing not having to cook today. When Jamie phoned, I’d just shut the gate to the field, sat down with the last plate of party left-overs and opened a can of lager. The caravans and field were finally tidied up and all was peaceful. I was looking forward to a quiet night with Pat, my husband, watching TV and mending a silly tiff we’d had earlier in the day.
So what did I say to Jamie when he asked me if his friends could stay?… “Oh, I thought you were staying in town! Hmm, well, okay then. It’s a bit of a hassle, but okay. Where shall I collect you?”
Duh!
I’d habitually fallen straight in the hole again. It hadn’t even entered my head that I could say no for a change, let alone recognise that I didn’t have to justify it. There was no demand for my knee-jerk analysis of everyone’s needs (putting mine at the bottom of the pile, of course) before coming up with the best course of valiant servitude.
A few minutes passed and it suddenly dawned on me.
“My God, I could have said no then!”, I exclaimed to Pat. “Oh well, at least I’ll set some other boundaries. They can convert their own sleeping area. I’ll stick a bunch of rolls and peanut butter in the caravan and they can feed themselves.”
“Yes!” said Pat enthusiastically. “And you’ve spotted it. That’s a good start.”
And he was right. I often relay this analogy to demonstrate how we can break unwanted habits simply be being aware:-
The man walks down the road. He doesn’t see the hole. He falls into the hole.
The man walks down the road. He sees the hole, but not quite in time, so he still falls into it.
The man walks down the road. He sees the hole and manages to avoid falling into it.
The man walks down the road. There is no hole any more.
Spotting a habit, even in retrospect, is the beginning of being able to change it. The trick is to cultivate a sense of slowing down and really noticing our responses to the things. Then we can choose whether to respond this way or that way, rather than just reacting automatically. Meditation creates this inner choice gap beautifully – it feels like it slows down time and surrounds you with amazing, switched on, bright peacefulness. Then you can truly choose what happens next.
Check out this wee video for more on this phenomenon (me teaching at a recent workshop) – it’s a life changer! Creating Choice with Inner Wisdom
Peanut butter in hand in preparation for the teenage onslaught, Jamie contacted me again, at first with a text saying “Thank you very much mum x sorry about it all x”
“Cor, it makes a change to be appreciated!” I said. “Of course, it wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t had your realisation about saying no”, added Pat. “Jamie got your new energetic message telepathically”.
We’ve noticed this before. A few months ago we were having a challenging time with Jamie and we didn’t know what to do with him. Then we realised that there was nothing we could ‘do with him’, we had to change our attitude, not his. We sat and talked for hours about it while he was out, realising what we had invested in things being this way or that. When Jamie came home some time later the first thing he did was ask for a hug. It was as though someone had flipped a switch in his psyche – all his anger and tension had gone and he was completely different!
Pat and I recorded our talks that afternoon on the Flip video camera. We’ve kept them private until now, however, we’ve just agreed to make the first one publically available in the spirit of Raw and Real. Do have a look if you are interested in how we started to work through our issues to handle our challenging teenager.
Parenting our troubled teenager part 1 – Power games, control and the teenage ego.
And as though to prove how positive changes of attitude do transmit instantly and telepathically, last night there was more. A few minutes after his text, Jamie phoned to say “You know what, mum, its okay, I’ll stay with my friend in town. I want to save you the trouble.”
And so I retrieved the peanut butter from Jamie’s caravan and settled down to the rest of my own meal in peace. It didn’t take long for Pat and I to let go of our silly tiff, enjoy a film together and go to sleep in each other’s arms.
Thrivecraft with Maggie Kay 